#untqgged

[think-queer]

It is exhausting how many people seem to refuse to give unaligned non-binary people the same level of compassion as they do masc or fem aligned trans people. So many people seem to completely understand how much constant misgendering can affect a person, that many trans people are forced to stay closeted and that being closeted is not a privilege even if it reduces the risk of being targeted by bigots, that many trans people can't transition due to lack of access/support/health issues... But the same people that understand that for trans men and women will forget all of that when it comes to non-binary people, especially those of us unaligned with concepts of feminity or masculinity. Suddenly people will act like every non-binary person who "looks cis" is making a conscious choice to do so, and that they are fully comfortable and happy with that choice. People will go from treating misgendering as a serious issue to acting like nb people should just brush it off. People who understand that infighting and comparing who has it worse within the queer community distracts from real progress will start talking about nb people as if we have no real problems and just want to feel oppressed. Leftists will start to sound like alt-right incels complaining about "special snowflakes" and "safe spaces" when they talk about non-binary people.

It's utterly exhausting and it's infuriating how many people seem to not even notice this.

Non-binary people face a huge amount of invisibility and infantilisation. Non-binary people spending their lives being misgendered and hiding away in the closet are not privileged for that. Non-binary people face the same obstacles in medical transition as any other trans person. Non-binary people discussing our own struggles on our own posts or in our own spaces doesn't take away from other trans people. Non-binary people have a right to take up space and participate in the wider queer community without be treated like we're intruders.

Stop treating non-binary people like we're "basically cis" or "trans-lite," stop acting like trans issues don't affect non-binary people. Treat non-binary people with some compassion or just leave us alone.

[think-queer]

If you think that an agender person who was AFAB and an agender person who was AMAB are two separate genders then I inherently don't trust you about trans issues.

Someone's genitals or AGAB does not determine their gender, and I find it concerning how many people seem to forget this when it comes to non-binary people.

[think-queer]

I keep seeing people say that it's pointless to point of the right's hypocrisy because conservatives don't care about being hypocritical, but I always thought the point was for centrists who might not actually look into the claims made by the right. When someone brings up how many of the right wing politicians who are against debt forgiveness have had their own debts forgiven, I never expect those politicians to stop and say "oh damn you're right" but I hope that someone who might have been thinking that they had a point when they said said debt forgiveness is "unfair" will reconsider.

Maybe it's naive to think that pointing out these inconsistencies will change anyone's mind at all. I just think it's better to look at it as an attempt to prevent conservatives fron spreading their beliefs further, not to change the minds of people who have already made up their minds.

[think-queer]

It's exhausting how many queer people seem to struggle to talk about the different issues face by different sub-communities without falling back into arguments about who has it worse.

[think-queer]

Lately I've been thinking about how I don't really like the "I was born this way" argument for queer rights.

I get why it's used. Often when fighting for queer rights it can feel like we just have to do whatever it takes, even if that means telling a sanitized or somewhat inaccurate version of our experiences. It's not super helpful for the long term, but it feels like something that conservative leaning centrists will act listen to.

The problem I have with it really is that I see it used as though it describes a universal queer experience, but I really don't think it does.

I'm an asexual CSA survivor and I have no idea if I was born asexual or if my asexuality is a product of my trauma. But I also don't think it matters. Why I'm asexual isn't important, what matters is that I am asexual.

How you ended up the way you are really isn't as important as who you are in the present moment. And I just don't like the way people act like there's a right and wrong way to be queer.

[think-queer]

If you can vote then please do, it does in fact make a difference.

However if you can't vote for whatever reason, please don't feel guilty.

Voter suppression is a huge problem in the US, it's not your fault that your rights are being abused. That includes being eligible and even registered to vote but having barriers that prevent you from as actually voting. That includes having physical or mental health issues that prevent you from going in to vote or sending in your ballot on time. It isn't your fault that this country makes voting extremely difficult for all but the most privileged. It doesn't make the results "your fault" and it doesn't make you a bad person.

If you are able to vote then please do. If you are privileged enough to be able to, then please use that privilege. It may feel like change doesn't come quickly enough, but one step forward is better than five steps back.

Vote because conservatives don't want you to, vote because there are tons of people who can't. If you're one of the people who can't vote: remember that continuing to live in a society that is actively hostile to you is an act of defiance in itself.

[think-queer]

I really hate how much people compare suffering

Things could always be worse, that doesn't make the pain any less real

A sprained ankle doesn't hurt less if it's compared to a broken leg

A stab wound doesn't bleed less if it's compared to a limb being cut off

Being called a slur isn't easier if it's compared to being physically attacked

I just don't get why some people seem to assume that someone talking about a bad/unpleasant experience means that person doesn't understand that it could have been worse. People should be able to talk about microaggressions and smaller acts of discrimination without being shut down because "it could be worse" we should strive for better than that.

[think-queer]

By the way if you come into my notes and defend the use of the term “theyfab” then you’re getting blocked. I have exclusively seen it used in an extremely transphobic+enbyphobic manner and I do not care for anyone’s excuses. If you want to address real issues then don’t use a term that is widely used to hurt non-binary people, especially non-binary people who don’t act “acceptably” non-binary.