also I think there is a tendency for people who are of a diaspora esp in the imperial core to develop a sort of victim complex the more they unconsciously subscribe to softer american ideals which is directly related to having a tenuous relationship in any way with their original culture and of course being a member of an Oppressed Group. But it is so suffocating to both experience and deal with in 3rd person. You have to kill the thing in your head telling you you are the #1 point of attention at all times. You also have to kill the thing in your head demanding validation for existing, specifically because you yourself are in a position of power over the optics of an entire country of people who are on average not thinking of you at all. Maybe that's the crux of it idk
