#upa.txt

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done with my pediatrics board exam!!!!!!!!!!! i actually feel worse about this exam than my internal medicine one 🤪 this test felt like it was written by a bunch of 10 year olds and every other question had me thinking “out of everything in the scope of pediatrics, y’all wanted to test me on this highly specific nit-picky concept that could be best answered with two of the answer choices?? ooookaaaayyyyy”

the american board of pediatrics and i already have beef for making hospital medicine a required fellowship when it shouldn’t be, but this just made my hatred for them so much worse lmao

i allegedly get results back in 2 months so we’ll see what happens. i’m so glad i no longer have to use what free time i have to study

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i know this is not an original thought but IBS havers are truly god’s strongest soldiers, braver than the US marines, deserving of a nobel peace prize, etc

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interrupting my silence to share that i finished residency a couple weeks ago and i’m officially DONE with my medical training 😭 forever 😭😭😭 currently studying for my very last board exams and i start my first attending job in a couple of months 💖

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7 days until i start my new job aaaaaaaaaaaah

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i hate having anxiety. haaaaaaaate it. like what do you mean i have to take everything mentally to a 10 at all times to the point where i can’t eat or get restful sleep. my watch told me the other day that over the past 6 weeks (AKA after starting my job) my resting heart rate has come up by almost 10 beats/min

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about one month into my job. i knew the transition from resident to attending would be stressful but i didn’t realize just how stressful it would actually be until going through it now.

rounding shifts have been particularly tough — feeling responsible for every single little thing about my patients has been a lot of pressure on myself, and i’ve been staying at work several hours longer than i need to in order to make sure everything is being addressed and sometimes doing the job of the nurse or social worker to make sure things are getting done. need to figure out a healthier way to manage my tasks because after a few consecutive rounding shifts in a row, it starts to take a physical toll (lack of sleep, not eating/drinking water at work) and then i can’t be present for my patients :(

i’ve been enjoying admission shifts and triage shifts though! definitely can pick up the pace of my admissions (we’re expected to admit at least 6 patients per shift; my pace is closer to 4-5 patients) but i think with time i’ll get there. i think patients in general just are more medically complex and have a lot of issues that need to be addressed when they come to the hospital

despite all the stress, this is 100% better compared to residency. at least i’m not working 28 hr shifts anymore 🥲 started seeing a therapist again a couple weeks ago and might resume an SSRI to help manage the anxiety… we shall see.

in exciting news, i got my internal medicine board scores back and i am officially a board-certified internist!! 🧿🧿taking my peds exam this week and then will hopefully never have to take another full-length exam ever again

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medical shows i’ve seen rated by their accuracy to my personal medical experiences!!

house md: -1000/10 literally if i tried doing anything they did on this show i would lose my medical license so fast

scrubs: 10/10 this was suuuuuuper accurate with day to day life as a resident in internal medicine (especially with emotionally challenging cases, dealing with hospital hierarchy BS, and struggling with imposter syndrome). and residents did hook up with each other, not all the time but enough that it did get gossiped about.

the pitt: 8.5/10 i’m not an EM doctor but all of the medicine they did was accurate to what i’ve seen in my personal experiences in the ICU/PICU. i have had conversations with families about comfort care and vaccinating their kids that were almost word to word what they portrayed in the show. points are coming off because the med students were allowed to do waaaaaaay too much like even as an MS4 i would not be allowed to order the nurse to give meds etc

grey’s anatomy: 1/10 i only watched a few seasons of this show and i’m not a surgeon but this show is ridiculous, the one point is for depicting how tiring shifts longer than 24h are

the good doctor: -1000000/10 i’ve only seen like the first season of this show but it was absolute ass ??????? episodes felt like watching a medical mad lib being acted out

nurse jackie: ???/10 i watched this show a looooooong time ago and i remember enjoying it and not much else other than the quality declining

doctor foster: ?????????/10 i started this show purely for jodie comer and the protagonist is a doctor. if i remember correctly the start of the show entails the titular doctor finding out one of her patients is her partner’s mistress and then it becomes more of a thriller/drama. meh

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i dropped my gf off at the airport not even 4 hrs ago and i’m already bereft 😭😭😭😭😭