4 / 20 / 18
“ i know that i fucked up and i’m sorry. and i held you down when no one was around, will you stop me if i’m leaving? ”
these past few days have been hell. i wish i could control myself more — my capacity to hold things has vanished a long time ago with him and that’s both good and bad. to be honest i don’t even fully remember why i ended up on that flight back to california. i hated every minute of it despite going back to see my best friend. at the same time i think i needed it for just a little while, i missed scott so much.
not knowing if tyler was okay was pure torture. he can be so stubborn, but maybe he learned that from me. we got into another small spat today and i found myself worried. i have to remind myself that we’re a couple in a relationship and these things happen. the fact that we can get past things and move on are why we’re going to make. the trust is there, and like we always say we’re almost excited to fight over stupid things like the color of the bathroom walls or what movie to watch.