Sep 9, 2022
Uptown Cafe in Uptown Minneapolis.
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Uptown Cafe in Uptown Minneapolis.
Good things are coming
So yesterday I talked to a guy opening a cafe/market next door to my apartment complex. I've been talking to him for the past month or so getting updates on how things are coming along. Yesterday he let me go in to check the place out. It's going to be absolutely gorgeous. Anyway, he said that he would love to put my artwork up for sale. He even said that he could care less if he got any of the money from my art as long as I help bring in customers. So I'll let you all know when the Uptown Cafe is open for business :) head on in, check out my work and grab some coffee!
Dufrain, Party of Two
Last night I went to the Uptown Cafe with my grandma. I had never been there before. My immediate family was more salt-of-the-Earth, Dave's-Hot-n-Juicy kind of people. I felt particularly underdressed even in my best pair of $10 Levis.
We sat in a booth and I ordered a Dufrain -- a Guiness with a shot of espresso. After one sip I felt sexy and confident enough to mate with any woman who would make eye contact with me. I could tell that the hostesses knew what's up. One of them smiled at me and I smiled back pulling out my retainer. I could see her heart melt.
Then I noticed our waiter was someone who went to my high school. When my grandma and I go out to eat I feel awful about how little she tips. Normally I throw a couple of more dollars on top of whatever she pays because she has some sort of vendetta against wait staff.
But not tonight, because fuck that kid.
I ordered the cajun meatloaf, a 30-year Uptown classic. Shit was dank, but not worth $14. I could make a loaf four times that size, with drugs in it, for less than that price -- I'm a man of my loaf.
By the time I finished consuming a fifth of a pound of red meat and some fried shrimp I felt less sexy and incapable of mating with attractive women. So I put in my retainer, drank another Dufrain and winked at the hostess.
I could tell she was visibly overwhelmed with lust by her reaction and the way she said, "Have a good night, sir."