Despite not going to bed any earlier than my “normal” (about 0600 in the morning), I ended up waking up quite a few times prior to 1200. I probably had trouble sleeping due to having an appointment.
And yeah, I got the booster shot. Still felt weird about it, but I guess my individual choice in this matter has basically no impact on the larger institutions that deprive underprivileged peoples of access to the vaccine. And on the other hand, my parents very much seemed to want me to get the booster: probably due to very real worries regarding the evolution of the virus
Mom came with me to the appointment so we could shop for groceries afterwards; I practiced “misbehaving” again
While we were out, I used the restroom. At home, I normally pee while sitting down. Since I was out, I just used a urinal, and it made it very obvious that there’s almost certainly something that’s messing up the flow.
It probably doesn’t help that I masturbated the past three days in a row, likely irritating the issue. Between generally feeling better and having the stress of my father talking to me and this appointment, it was difficult to resist. But I do need to step up my efforts restrict myself so it can recover again
And fundamentally, part of this difficulty can be explained by whatever neurodivergence I have going on: I struggle to maintain the memory of past problems, so I largely forget how big of a deal this shit was to me not all that long ago. At the least, I easily forget it in the moment in favor of immediate gratification.
So yeah, I probably really should make an appointment with the clinic to maybe see someone about my mental health and probable ADHD, and hopefully I’d get prescribed something to deal with it
As much as I would like to address the urinary issues in the same appointment, I’d really like to focus on the mental health so that things don’t get sidetracked and I end up downplaying the issue (or allowing the physician to brush it off)











