A European royal marries an American journalist. This is probably the most iconic bad Christmas romcom not made by Hallmark because of that tweet where Netflix displayed shady standards for dealing with customer information. The idea of a Journalist-Queen is fantastic though. That is direct control of the royal public image. This is one of the few instances where the tradition stock character in these types of movies had absolutely no leg to stand on and a great example of an obsession with tradition blinding someone to an amazing opportunity.
Princess Switch
Two European royals marries American bakers, which is patently ridiculous. Particularly because these royal bakers apparently run their own stores (can you imagine the security problems that would cause?). Characterization-wise, the first movie did make a good argument for why Prince Edward and Lady Margaret wouldn’t be a good match, despite it being perfect on paper. They would be the most timid royal couple ever. The second movie had a disposable love interest in Margaret’s (absurdly young) chief of staff. He would have been a better match, if he hadn’t been a back-stabbing little bitch, and I believe that Margaret was definitely considering it before Kevin showed up. The worst offender on this list, but the Vanessa Hugdens holiday romcoms take themselves the least seriously of the entire genre, so I’m not entirely convinced it wasn’t done at least partially on purpose.
A Princess for Christmas
A European royal marries an American antiques expert. I feel that this one is automatically the smallest offender on this list because, although the couple is in line for the throne, there is no indication that they will ever inherit. The prince is the son of the duke and inherits the title from his mother, who was probably a younger sibling to the crown heir of whatever country this movie takes place in, or the country practices male primogeniture.
The Prince and Me
The Prince of Denmark courts an American pre-med student. Unique in that in takes place in a real country and that the girl does break up with the royal because she can’t deal with royal life. Although, the prince does come back and says he’ll wait for her, so the audience is meant to assume that they’ll get married someday. I think medicine is a much better profession for a working royal because I imagine that a doctor’s office is much easier to secure than a bakery. Also, I think the main character actually did pretty well when she was acting as consort, almost too well. From what I remember of the movie the main issue was that her celebrity distracted from the royal campaigns. She would be a great queen once she and the prince figured out how to integrate her ambitions with the royal agenda.
Please let me know if there any other Royal Rom-Com Spouses you want my opinion on.
Not to get back on my Ayreon bullshit or anything but. I'm back on my Ayreon bullshit! And today I wanna talk about Day Six: Childhood
Specifically, I wanna talk about one line: "How could you learn to care, when nobody cares for you"
We see multiple times over the course of the album that the main character, Me, does care. He's a deeply flawed person, sure. He's made mistakes, and he's hurt the people he cares about. But he cares about them. He cares about them, he feels so much guilt over what he's done, and at the end he dedicates himself to being a better person, a better husband, and a better friend.
But that doesn't mean this line doesn't fit. It means it's not true of him... but it fits perfectly.
Because of who's saying it.
Agony. A manifestation of pain and trauma. It is, quite literally, his trauma talking.
And trauma lies. Trauma tries to take over your life and control you, trauma can make you feel like a horrible person.
This line is so perfect not in spite of, but because it is simply not true.
But Me, at that point in time, believes it is.
We see it again later, in Day Eleven.
"Remember your father, well you're just like him/nothing but violence and fury within"
Once again, this is Agony talking. Lying. Because Me is better than his father. This is his trauma, trying to convince him that he's a horrible person just because his father is. Because people can get into that mindset. And if they don't break out of that mindset, it can become true, that's how the cycle of abuse continues. He does break out of that, by not only realizing that he's not doomed to be an absolutely horrible person, but by making the decision to be a better one.
The Human Equation offers some powerful commentary on abuse, trauma, and growth, and I think this is a really important part of that.
Logic oriented characters (Star Trek edition, just ignore me haha):
I will always be a casual Spock fan, because I'm kinda edgy, even I can see why he's popular and I do prefer him over Jim (I love John Sheppard dearly, he's been teased by McKay several times for being 'Kirk', but Sheppard was like kinda passive towards seduction, almost every time he's the one being forcefully pushed, though arguably he does keep distance from everyone)
The one thing I haven't figured out is why I loved Data so much, he's not edgy, not like my usual standards, and he's the nicest and most polite character I have ever loved. Probably I was just amazed by Brent Spiner in general. I feel like, Deja Q in an episode sense fulfilled my many wishes as Q pointing out Data wouldn't need to be human, Q is definitely anti-anthropocentric
I like Tuvok very much, he's very grumpy, and he loves plants. The one thing I cannot forgive VOY is leaving so many characters unexplored. (the other is genderlizing Q in binary sense)
I liked T'Pol but the love for Shran disproportionally overshadowed anything else I feel about ENT. And Rick Berman letting main actresses wearing this kind of uniform once again, ugh.
The traditional logical characters don't actually exist in DS9, but I do feel like Sisko is a strong T in a MBTI sense.
Okay so, like, this is dark, but listen. Listen. Listen. You ever go to a gay bar and see various groups of gay men and there's always One Chubby Girl with them? That's me. I'm that girl. I like to call us Michelle Visages. And I've been thinking. My personal headcanon that I know is shared by many is that if Rachel had survived the war, rather than quietly caving in on herself like Jake, she would explode outward with fits of rage and impulse demons. She'd be a PR nightmare. She'd be on the front page of the news every week for at least a year and it wouldn't stop when she got better, it would stop when the media simply got exhausted reporting on her.
Imagine though.
Imagine the gays. Gay men, typically, and loud fabulous lady queers such as myself and all else who identify with this particular subset of queers. Gays who love train wrecks and vodka crans. We. Would. Love. Her.
We would call her RaeRae and wear black and white screen prints of her on t-shirts and quote her endlessly and remix her meltdowns into techno songs. She would do PR events and it would be attended mostly by us going "YASSS RAERAE! YAS!" People hold Rachel Berenson themed parties. Kathy Griffin has no less than five routines revolving around Rachel's antics. When her attitude gets too much for the media and no one will hire her, she makes the majority of her cash going from town to town for pride. And because I do not believe people have a hard limit of three years to recover from severe trauma before growing up, maybe sometime when Rachel is in her twenties and has found help and settled down, people have coffee mugs that say "If Rachel Berenson can survive 2002 you can survive today." Eventually she just starts popping up in random gay bars, not to drink (she quit) but just to hang out, and speaks in support of gay marriage even before Marco. She becomes a legendary gay ally. We take her. She is ours.
(This is the most useless meta ever written, but it's gonna be funny to like one other person, and that person is invited to my apartment to say terrible things about the people on House Hunters while drinking cider and red wine.)
I have a lot of thoughts about how Daniel's communication skills are directly linked to his linguistic skills, but I don't really know how to make all those thoughts into something coherent so I'm just gonna say that of the two, I think linguistics is the thing that came easily to him and he became good at communicating (in the sense of how he's basically the team diplomat/negotiator/Person Who Makes Friends) because of that, not the other way around.
So bc this has been bugging me I'm making a post about it: how old is Gabriel?
So let's look at the clues.
Based on the art, he was pretty young, but not a child, when Evangeline died:
Like he looks like a teenager here?
Eight years later, he's referred to as "the boy" by Nafaryus, and a "young lad" by Himney, both of whom are older; I'd say Nafaryus is in his late 50s/early 60s, and Himney is in his mid/late 60s.
Gabriel wouldn't be a teenager now; if he were, he would've been 10/11 at the oldest when Evangeline died, and he was clearly older than that. He's probably in his 20s.
Arhys appears to be in his 20s or 30s:
And if we assume Gabriel was a teen when Evangeline died, Arhys would have to be significantly older than him, because he was already the leader of the Ravenskill militia, married, and with a kid on the way. I'm gonna say Arhys was 24 then, and Gabriel was 16. Why? There are a few reasons.
One, that puts the age difference at 8 years. That's a somewhat large, but not unreasonable, age gap between brothers. Also, that number is significant because that's the amount of time between Evangeline's death and the beginning of the story.
Two, that would make Arhys 32 in 2285, which is consistent with his appearance.
Three, and perhaps the biggest reason I believe this: this would make Gabriel 24 in 2285. Still young enough for older men to refer to him as a boy. But more importantly, this makes Gabriel the same age as Arhys was when Evangeline died. When Gabriel finds the love of his life (Faythe), he's the same age as Arhys was when he lost his.
@thoughttrainderailed is personally responsible for this very long and wandery discussion about Santa Claus vs Peter Pan vs How Does Neverland Even Work.
I love and hate you, my me. This is worse than a 14 page PowerPoint.
thoughttrainderailed
on my dash is a selection of "I was so high I -blank-" soundbites
and one of them is "we were so high we made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter Pan in a fight"
and my immediate thought was
of course, Santa is strong versus Naughty Children and Pan is the Naughtiest Child Of Them All
Harinezumiko
omg
true
also like how would
Pan even engage
Santa is strong versus Naughty Children, but also Impossibly Fast, is immortal solely on milk and cookies, can fit in anything, can fly through anything, and can produce an endless supply of coal for punishment, like
Pan steps foot outside of Neverland and he's got nothing
also Santa is immune to fire
and I promise the Lost Boys will fall to presents
...how would that work in Neverland, though, I wonder. Like. Neverland is Chaotic and filled with Pan's shenanigans magic, but Santa is strong versus Naughty Children and Lawful magic, and creates harmony and lawfulness
If Naughty Children are not almost-fairies like Pan they will surely fall for the Christmas Magic
And Santa destroys the idea that all adults are pirates
because Santa would have none of Hook's shit
Santa would tell Hook every bad thing he's ever done since he was born and why he's never getting presents forever
The Lost Boys would love Santa
thoughttrainderailed
yessss
Harinezumiko
Pan would instantly get demoted to Rufio status
thoughttrainderailed
I think Santa would prevail even in Neverland
hahaha
he is Too Powerful when it comes to children in general
Harinezumiko
yeah, I think there's enough magic there that. hmmm. there's that, but there's also Santa's tendency to bring out the best in everyone and create harmony and bonds of family, found or otherwise, and all that shit
like
It would only work while Santa was there just like Christmas only works for Christmas Season, but he'd probably cure the pirates
thoughttrainderailed
right
Harinezumiko
because even if the pirates are villains to the Lost Boys, pirates are all gay family trapped on a boat constantly drunk together
thoughttrainderailed
aren't most of the pirates Lost Boys that escaped getting culled by Pan when they got too old(edited)
Harinezumiko
especially Hook's pirates, who must be fabulous
hmm
I have heard mixed things
Hook himself is not
but Hook is also extremely lawful depending on how much supplemental material you're drawing from
he's One Prime Bastard, but he is all about Good Form (unless it's a chance to kill Pan)
but Hook would totally call a Christmas truce trying to get something from Santa
thoughttrainderailed
I buy it
Harinezumiko
and I think like
since Belief is Everything in Neverland, Santa's ability to bring Christmas Magic to adults (thus rendering pirates no different from Lost Boys, especially if they're former Lost Boys, doubly especially if Santa also makes you behave by just being there) would pull the rug out from under Pan in ways Pan couldn't. overcome.
thoughttrainderailed
yeah like
Pan gets undermined by Wendy
no disrespect to Wendy
but if your operation is so fragile a girl telling stories can topple your control over it
Harinezumiko
to be fair Wendy has multiple brothers to nag
So I kind of imagine she had the power of stories and the early stages of Mom Friend with a side of I'm Your Sister That's Why
Pan has no experience with girls, because Tink is not "girls"
thoughttrainderailed
also true
but if just that taste of Family and Structure from a single, unmagical source fucked it up
Santa's schtick would wreck him and his system
Harinezumiko
god
can you imagine too like
Santa shows up
and Pan is like
hey fairies and possibly mermaids, do something about this with me
and both are like
yeahhhh no there's a hierarchy
that's Santa
thoughttrainderailed
hahahaha
yes
Harinezumiko
Like they're just like, yeah, no, we're mermaids, we don't have souls, we turn to seafoam when we die, drowning people is fun, drowning Santa gets you a soul so you can go to Hell
Fairies are just like that is a being that enslaves Elves
Elves are more complex than us
nope
thoughttrainderailed
very wise
to want None Of That
Harinezumiko
Fairies can only feel one thing at a time and all of them in that moment feel the desire to Not Die For Stupid Reasons
thoughttrainderailed
hell if they get near Santa he might just gift the mermaids a soul(edited)
how do you like suddenly having deep feelings
Harinezumiko
I mean
the answer to that probably is that they drown themselves
for all the bad things they'd done before
....god that would suck, if he gifted the fairies souls, would that make them owe him life debts and turn them into elves?
you can't just give things to fae
thoughttrainderailed
hmmmmMMMMMMM
POSSIBLE
Harinezumiko
like they wouldn't necessarily be the same as his elves
thoughttrainderailed
air traffic directors
Harinezumiko
but small magical things that owe him a life debt and can make shit out of nothing and have an affinity for children
he just invented flying elves
thoughttrainderailed
Santa just clears out all the fairies that don't run screaming and it's still a Good thing
Harinezumiko
yup
Neverland is his new summer home
Shmee is the first convert
because he loves Hook and wants to give him things
thoughttrainderailed
maybe he converts Neverland into the gift for all the children who wish to be anywhere but where they are
Harinezumiko
true
he'd just remove Pan(edited)
like
Pan is the source of conflict
he is not the source of the capacity for fun that children should have
Neverland is theoretically a fun place
Pan is the one who keeps the conflict with the pirates going
thoughttrainderailed
Pan is the one who started it
Harinezumiko
It is a dangerous fun place but if Santa has influence over it, it's not going to go after children
It'd be a paradise
thoughttrainderailed
and if there is actually some kind of built-in rule that you're either a Child or a Pirate
that's easily solved by getting sent back to the real world to live a grown-up life when you mature/heal enough to no longer need Neverland
...or you become a Pirate
since that's apparently a valid career path in Neverland
Harinezumiko
I wonder if Santa would point out that Hard Rule and if the existence of a hard rule that isn't unspoken would break things
like
...brain died
but like
can a supposedly chaos-driven world thrive if the denizens know about Hard Rules like that?
Pan would have to kill all his Lost Boys
Harinezumiko
but could Pan handle that knowledge? Or is he fairy-influenced enough that he'd forget quickly just like he doesn't feel lingering guilt over his Lost Boys?
thoughttrainderailed
I think probably the latter
correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't he straight up forget they existed after he kills a Lost Boy?
Harinezumiko
does Santa's nostalgia maisma break him?
thoughttrainderailed
...probably
Harinezumiko
like wouldn't the Nostalgia At Every Turn wreck Christmas for Pan?
thoughttrainderailed
and the emphasis on family
cuz the Lost Boys might be found family to each other
Harinezumiko
Lost Boys that still exist may not have enough awareness to Angst
yeah
thoughttrainderailed
but Pan excludes himself from that
Harinezumiko
Lost Boys might only have good memories of the fun times they've had in Neverland as long as they've never had to see Pan kill someone
...would nostalgia and guilt and awareness cause Pan to Mature and render him a Pirate
because if he knows he did Bad Things and feels Guilt, that makes him Mature
if he knows he did Bad Things and justifies them to himself to make him feel less guilty, that makes him a Bad Person, which makes him a Pirate
