#usingthebox

[livingbeyondthebox-blog]

Pro & Con about The Box

The book, Living Beyond The Box, was written to offer explanation and guidance about the world we live in, and all of the factors exercising “control” over us.  It looks at how parents, teachers, bosses, religious leaders, and friends try to control what we think and do.  It presupposes that we actually have “free will” to go along with, escape from, or modify that control. It clearly portrays The Box as something very common that everyone encounters.  But, there is a profound aspect to being in The Box that we need to know. There can be an upside to being in or using The Box, and there can be a downside. And, it has everything to do with who you really are and who you become. Distinguishing the Pros and Cons about The Box Living in The Box requires knowledge and skills on how to negotiate the best terms for meeting the desires of those using it to control your choices and actions. Using The Box to control others requires a different set of knowledge and skills to maintain that control over them. Trying to escape The Box requires still another set of knowledge and skills. In essence, we need various knowledge and skills just to “play and win” whenever The Box is involved. By definition, this “game-playing” requires us to look out for our own self-interests – to be selfish. The biggest pro or con involving The Box is how well we play the selfish game and win. Playing it well can serve us on the one hand, but hurt us on another. We might be served by getting what we want, but seen as selfish and uncooperative. Our negotiation skills can tend to slip into debate techniques, persuasion methods, and conflict-resolution or damage control. It might be the reason “the world” is growing in run-away selfishness. What Living Beyond The Box Is about The book looks at the consequences of abusive and frequent uses of The Box. Many of life’s problems can be traced to being victimized by it, or to victimizing others. In fact, though not stated as such… The Box is a Con-Job !!!!! My wish for everyone is to find themselves, and their self-esteem in something more than winning in or with The Box. We are so much more than that. Read the full article

[livingbeyondthebox-blog]

Parental Impact on Children

Parental impact plays a significant role in every child’s development. People who are caught up in The Box for much of their own lives usually resort to it when they become parents.  Perhaps you can remember saying as a child I’ll never do that to my kids! Only to find yourself saying later as a parent oh no! I’ve become my mom (or dad)! Boxed-in Parents tend to box-in their children.  Our self-esteem dwindles as we are over controlled by others. Then, we find ourselves saying well, I am going to control these kids! We completely forget about parental impact and just blame the adults.

Parental Impact and The Box The really most unfortunate aspect of this is that The Box is so easy to use.  The method is very straight-forward: tell them what to do; offer rewards; threaten punishments and make them sound like fun doing it. Hitler definitely told the German citizens what, how, and when to do his bidding and used rewards and punishments thereby forcing people to do it. But, he added something clever, sinister actually. He added entertaining elements to it to make people feel like it was fun. A huge number of Germans were boxed-in to carry out horrible crimes against others both within and outside Germany. The power of Hitler’s Box began in its simplicity of use that could be passed down to those under him to use. In a way, parents simply pass down The Box to those under them – their own children. Then, we all walk around with a common feeling: If it was good enough for me, it’s good enough for them! There are two things to consider to create a positive parental impact: Is there a correct way to use The Box? Is there a way to avoid using The Box? If One Resorts to Using The Box If we must or choose to use The Box, then we must make to use it constructively and avoid abusive techniques or the abuse of a steady diet. Remember, the ultimate goal of parenting is to prepare kids to someday think and act on their own. If we constantly control their every move, when will they get a chance to try things on their own? Far too many kids enter the workforce or college blind-sided by choices and responsibilities for the first time. Remember, their peers tend to lead them astray and thus offer another type of control. This is where the book Living Beyond The Box can help.  It gives a deeper understanding of The Box and its consequences. Also, it helps in deciding what to do when others use it on us, and when we use it on others. To be a better parent, we first need to better handle Boxes We’re In. Read the full article