There is nothing wrong with your device’s screen …
… do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission.
If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. And do, every single guitar solo.
We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. Though not any flatter, Or fatter. But we digress..
We can change the focus to a soft blur (to be fair it’s probably already a blur, going by our usual photographic standards), or hideously over-sharpen it to crystal clarity. And beyond. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear.
We repeat: There is nothing wrong with your electronic device. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to...
The UK Blues Awards Livestream.
A world where reason and logic no longer prevail. Where up is down and white is black. Where the people who run the nominations, the polling, the counting of the votes and the presentation of the awards are the people who win the awards.
An echo chamber where the silence is deafening, as the devotees, the faithful acolytes, greet each new old announcement with ever more enthusiastic adulation, as the juggernaut ecstasies in the repeated, age-old, changeless mantras handed down over the generations.
Is it just a fever dream or frightening nightmarish reality? Is it the recurrence of an ancient horror or a vision of a future too terrible to tell?
Only you can decide…
(…although the answer to both questions is ‘Yes’.)