Pairing: One Sided AU!Erik x Female!Reader, AU!Sam x Female!Reader [[3rd person]] ((bc it’s easy to write love for him bc i fuckin love him asdfgb))
Warnings: Angst, sexual themes, insinuations of sex, etc
A/N: I’m still alive, i still love Sam n I still kinda write
“ I sɪɴᴋ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ..”
Erik sinks back into his work chair, breathing out slowly, finally allowing his mind to slip. His shirt was wrinkled, his clothes smelled strongly of a mixture of his own cologne and the perfume of some stranger. Another empty night of trying to cope with his own well deserved ailment.
Years of using and tossing away the women in his world has finally come to bite him in the ass, painfully so. How cruel his fate is- how cruel he’s been, to love her this much, or to at least feel as though he does. He was only just learning that love was an emotion they could feel. It was supposed to be this beautiful thing- but only when it’s mutual. Only when your love hasn’t fallen so deeply for your brother- a brother that is your complete opposite.
He’d rather it have been James. Someone he could attempt to compare himself to- so he could feel like he had a shot and simply missed due to his own stupidity in the first meeting he had with her. Not his opposite, someone he could never hope to be.
It was only fair. Sam had been through so much in their life in the Demon World. Erik managed to skirt by, only getting punished a small handful of times for things he caused by his own pettiness. He had his fill of gorgeous women with greedy hands and minds. Groping and grabbing and whispering- promising to feed him well but somehow leaving him empty, even as he drank up all the energy they had to offer.
So much happened in a blur, and suddenly he was met with a human who was stunning not in appearance but in actions. Spoke up when she had to, refused to take their shit- someone he didn’t have the pleasure of knowing in the demon world.
Erik never expected all this. Sam was the meanest of them all, with James coming in at a close second. He wants to question what she sees in him, but he also doesn’t.
The first person to like him as a person and he just falls entirely- does he love her because she treats him like an actual person and not a handsome face? Or does he actually love her?
He’s not sure, he just knows it’s painful. It’s hard to hide his swirling thoughts at home- hard to stop wishing it was her he ended up lying in bed with. Wishing she touched him so sweetly- spoke to him so soft with those warm eyes. He craved her in a way he’d never craved anyone in his life thus far. He wondered what it might be like to be touched intimately with warming and comforting love- not pure cold lust.
What might it be like to hold her hand? To be the reason why she was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. To have her give him those soft doe eyes. How might it feel to lay his head in her lap and have her run her fingers through his hair? Would she visit him at work? Peck his cheek and bring him some coffee?
Had he been different- had he not been how he was, would it be him? Would you have grown fond of him?
The questions threaten to spill out whenever he sees her with his brother. He aches to be the one she gives her affections to- but he also burns at the thought of how his brother would feel. Sam adores her with everything he has. His entire heart is in her hands, and she cherishes it beautifully- he should be ecstatic. Should be able to move on- after all he is the one who got them there. Pushing her to him night after night- listening to her ache over her feelings, questioning if she was right for him while he internally screamed that she was perfect.
“I think you suit him fine.”, he’d said, despite wanting to gush that anyone would be lucky to have her.
She ducks her head bashfully, sending his heart galloping, “Ha..you think so?”
“Sure.”, he hums, taking a sip of his drink, “Just give him a bit, he’s not too great with his words.”
Erik hates how he thought of ways to sabotage- ways he could have swept her away and kept her to himself. Hates how close he was to just... being selfish in a way thats so horrifically wrong. He despises how he thinks of her constantly while at work. Creating dresses and outfits he think would look lovely on her- only to sell them to clients, ecstatic with their orders. Maybe if he parts with enough of them, he can part with her.
Maybe if he fills his aching thoughts with the pretty models he meets with- he won’t feel anymore.
They call to him- moan his name and grasp at his shoulders- they attempt to hold onto him. Keep him with them in their bed in the dead of night- they cling and claw.
They still wake up to empty beds- he still walks away, sinking lower and lower into himself.
He hasn’t been home in a month- he’s not sure if he’s worse or better. He can’t tell if he’s cured himself of this affliction- if he numbed enough.
“I love you..”
He hears the sweet whispers in what little dreams he ever has, waking to bitter reality soon after.
Is this love? Is this obsession? Is this even healthy or okay? Will he be okay?
“Erik, darling~ I’m back.”, a sickly sweet voice rings out into the silence.
He hates how he mentally caves into himself. How fake he sounds- “Oh, lovely. I do miss seeing you.” Liar-
“Ooh, flattery? That will get you very far..” Ugh-
“I do so hope so.”, he smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes- not that it’s ever noticed.
“Oh come on, admit I’m your favorite- your one and only and we can have lots more fun..”, she purrs, hands already unbuttoning his shirt.
Erik chuckles bitterly, remaining silent and she takes it as some sort of yes. Some type of confirmation, though it’s far from it. He’s numb to her cold touch- he barely recalls her name. He just feels.. disgusting- slimy. He realizes then that.. no matter what he could do differently when meeting her- when meeting you, you still would not love him. He’s just some used toy.
Some pretty used car. Everyone has had a ride- there’s nothing special about him, nothing charming. He has graffiti on the inside and small tears in his pleather. His tires have no tread- he is an accident waiting to happen, and you were just dodging the danger, while hoping to maybe help by being on the outside.
That must be it. right?
Anything is better than you just not liking him that way- any reason is better than none-
“Oh, Erik..” Stop stop- you’re not her- no one is her-
He never did learn how to stop, and he’s not sure if he ever will..
| Erik/Uzaeris X Asexual!Reader | “You’re perfect just how you are” | Fluff |
A/N: I’m sorry if I got anything wrong
Y/N’S POV
‘I should be used to this, but I’m not.’ I think looking in the mirror and seeing lovebites and hickeys after giving Erik my energy earlier. I’m asexual, but I haven’t told him because he is an incubus and needs sexual energy to live. I’m ok with making out and hickeys but not sex. Erik just thinks I’m not ready to go that far in the relationship. I love him so much I wish I could give him that, but I can’t.
I get an uncomfortable feeling when Erik wants to go farther than just making out and hickeys. I hate it so much. Why can’t I give him what he needs. “Princess/Prince, why are you up? It’s 12:30 AM?” Erik says while pushing his body on the doorway.
“Wha- oh no reason,” I say, walking over to him. I feel him wrap his arms around me. “Then why are you up… Princess/Prince,” he said, looking me in the eyes. ‘Should I tell him… He is my husband...’
“I’m ok just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep,” I lie to him. Erik starts to walk away, I follow him. I followed him back to our bedroom. “Can we talk Y/N?” Erik asked, moving to stand in front of me.. “Uhh… Sure,” I say, confused, sitting on the bed. He sits beside me. “Are you ok, my Princess/Prince? I can tell you lied to me.” Erik asked me, running his hand through my hair to my cheek.
I nuzzle into his hand. “I need to tell you something… but I haven’t let myself tell you because I...I’m scared of how you will react,” I say as I feel goosebumps on my skin. “Y/N, please tell me… have I done something that has made you uncomfortable,” Erik said to me with a sad look. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… it’s just m-me.” I say, looking down.
“What do you mean, princess/prince?” he asked. I cuddle into his side. “I’m asexual,” I say softly to the point he can’t hear me. “Can you say that again? I couldn’t hear you,” Erik said. I sigh. “I’m a-asexual,” I say, getting goosebumps again. “Asexual?” he asked.
“I’m asexual… which means I don’t like the idea of sex and don’t want to have sex with someone, but I’m ok with hickeys and making out. Some ace people don’t want to have anything sexual while dating someone. Some are ok with it just far in a relationship.” I say, hoping that gave him an answer he wanted.
I feel Erik hug me. “Fuckking god Y/N you scared me. I was starting to think I did something wrong.” He said, “W-wait, you don’t care. I’m ace,” I say, looking up at him.
“No, I still love you. Our whole relationship isn’t sexual. It only is when I need energy and that like every 2-3 weeks.” He said, kissing my forehead. “You’re perfect just how you are,” Erik added. I felt myself start to cry. Erik then wipes my tears away. “We should get to bed. It’s 12:50 AM, and you, my grate husband, have work tomorrow.” I say, getting up and walking to my side of the bed.
