@nikushiimi asked:
❛ I’ll just play hello titty with the bartender. ❜ - for sai, theyre out trying to get sasuke laid probably
Sai pauses briefly, his drink halfway to his lips, and watches Sasuke out of the corner of his eye. The reaction is very calculated- this is how people react to him when he says things he apparently isn't supposed to, and Sai thinks that what Sasuke said qualifies.
"Please do not flash the bartender," he says, loudly enough that the bartender's head whips around to stare at the pair of them. That, Sai ignores blithely. "Nor should you ask to be flashed by the bartender. That is a very serious working professional, Sasuke, one that sees hotter twinks than you three times a night."
He takes a sip of his drink, which is some teal colored monstrosity that tastes mostly like food dye and a little bit like mint, and it leaves a little bit of a minty aftertaste. Sai licks his lips, and then turns and gestures out toward the bar at large, and the dance floor off to the side, occupied with a few people here and there.
"You have to go and participate in the classic mating ritual- finish your drink, dance until you start to sweat, lock eyes with someone you can envision yourself engaging in intercourse with," here, he waves his hand back to the bar, "Approach, offer to purchase a drink if you want to top, or ask if they want to buy you a drink if you want to bottom. Try not to talk too much, because strangers find your attitude a little repulsive."
Speaking from experience, a place of kinship- strangers also find Sai's attitude a little repulsive, albeit in a different way.
"It's foolproof, Sasuke," he smiles sweetly at him. "It works for me pretty much every time. I won't point out the people I've hooked up with in here though, Sakura says it's rude to 'kiss and tell' and I wouldn't want to ruin your hunt."
He was not dead yet, not exactly— / parts of him were dead already, certainly other parts were still only waiting / for something to happen, something grand, but it isn’t / always about me, / he keeps saying, though he’s talking about the only heart he knows—