#v; arcade protector

[av-agent]

@schweetzprincess

One hand places itself against her hip while the other points her pink lollipop staff at him. Howrude! Though she suppose it’s understandable given how beautiful her home was. It could make anyone lose their track of mind!

“One should always pay attention to me. I am the princess after all. I said I hope you enjoy your stay here. If you need anything for the time being just inform me.”

Oh sweet joy upon joys. Vale was already feeling the immense weight of an ego brought on by a position within a game.

All too often, Vale’s method of sorting that was to remind them that there were powers beyond even an Antivirus in the worlds they inhabited; the games they were part of.

Not that it would work too well right now. Diplomacy was key; especially with someone new.

“Right. I’ll be sure to remember that - and let you know. I do not suppose you could tell me a little more about this game, could you?” Learning new games was always ‘fun.’”

[av-agent]

“...”

“I know for an absolute fact that this will make me look like the biggest asshole since the invention of douchebaggery, but... I’ve been stuck powered up all day, it’s doing weird things to the way I think, and I honestly really just want a kiss.”

“What the everloving hell is wrong with me?”

[av-agent]

“This is a small warning. The next person to get trapped on the internet is getting a detour through some unsavoury websites when I inevitably come fetch them.”

[av-agent]

Weasel just begins to squirm underneath him and poke at him to wake him up.

      “ Heeeeyy…”

{ @weasels-muses }

Vale yawned, waking up for just a moment; a strange look of peace on his face.

“...let me have this one...”

And then he fell straight back asleep; clearly exhausted.

[av-agent]

“Another day, another realisation that you have a crush on someone who won’t return it, which also in turn makes me feel like an incredibly bad fanfic character.”

“Like, ‘self-insert’ levels. Those creepy people who live in their bedrooms and look up art of people.”

“The things some people have seen on their systems beggars belief.”

“How do I not fall into the trap of being that level of douchenozzle?”

[av-agent]

reHave you ever had one of those weeks that seemed to last months?

Vale had, except try replacing ‘weeks’ with ‘literal months’ and ‘months’ with ‘years.’ Between the new cryptocurrency miner threats (that oft tended to bury themselves into game engines, sit there, and overwork the CPU until you found characters with four heads screaming for mercy); the ever growing trend for people to be completely useless at securing their consoles and servers...

...throw in Meltdown and Spectre, and Vale was just about done.

He hadn’t had a day off in months; he hadn’t seen a single friend in months. He had got in touch with the group who had assigned him to the Arcade in the first place, swore at them a little.

Long story short, they sent people to take over for a while; and he was currently in Sugar Rush enjoying the peace.

His jacket, everpresent, slung over a shoulder as he enjoyed the weather; although strictly speaking it could have been deep snow and he wouldn’t have minded.

He was busy tapping away on his phone, fingers a blur - phone being a strange concept to a program that lived inside bigger programs that themselves were games.

[Vale -> Jubileena] Before I say anything else, I’m going to say I’m sorry. I’ve not been around much.

[Vale -> Jubileena] I’d explain the sort of week I had, but I’m not sure my command of language would do it any sort of justice.

[Vale -> Jubileena] Long story short, I’ve swore at my bosses a lot, and I now have a week off. Are you around today?

{ @redhead-racer }

[av-agent]

“OK, who knows where that неумолимый мудак S’mourice is?! I know he can regenerate, and so I want to... talk to him. Repeatedly. With my sword.”

Was Vale actually going to hurt S’mourice? Probably not. Was he still a wee bit upset? All signs pointed towards ‘very yes.’

[av-agent]

*pies Vale with a thick cherry pie*

Congratulations, S’mourice. You’ve won today’s “I didn’t want to be alive, anyway” award. It seems that - of all the pies you could pick - you chose cherry; which Vale reacted particularly badly too.

(Speaking as the omnipresent narrator of life, both past and present? I suggest you run. Your next pie might be a wall.)