Inside my head
(Intro)
I’ve never been a personal person. I grew up holding almost everything in. I couldn’t tell you why or what made me like this. I often felt alone even though you could say I had a lot of friends. I guess I just felt I wouldn’t be heard. I also was never able to cry while others were crying. It’s strange because I could feel like I might explode with tears, but once someone else would start crying first, I could easily swallow my tears away. I guess you could also say this made me feel like I always had to be the “strong one”. I think this is what inspired me to paint. I realized I could explode with paint. And why most of the time I prefer to paint solo. It allows me to be feel as vulnerable as I ever could.
(Moving on to my feminist view) As a young girl growing up in this world I used to think women were the known as the delicate ones and that we weren’t allowed to make any mistakes. Be perfect-be perfect-be perfect was engrained in our brains. Don’t wear that, stop cursing, and don’t forget to always be presentable. Fat, Whore, slut. And the best one, She was asking for it. … We never had a chance to say: “Hey, back up.. I do what I want!” And sadly, we live in a world where this happens quite often.
(Now get ready for some real hippy/feminist shit) Getting back to this piece, I had this feeling of someone trapping and locking up my soul. Crushing me to a tiny ball of locked up emotions. It was one of the first times I just closed my eyes, hung with MJ and painted something without an end goal. And what become of it, you could take a look for yourself. As a woman we should never have anyone or anything control who we are and what we are. We should be able to wear/say/do what we want in that moment without being degraded. So I’m speaking up to most of the world, but mainly one person in specific. I will never be ok with this type of treatment even if you are my blood and other half. I will never stop standing up for Femininity…I will never stop standing up for me… So to me, this piece really represents how I feel about our place in this world, also how dark it can be, and how there can be light hiding. Woman have light that we’re forced to hide and I’m letting it out the only way I know how.
So I’m guessing you could guess who I’m speaking about and what this piece really looks like ✌️️
