So, before I shut down for the night, I have some words I want to share as a fandom "yold" (younger old, 30-something) in regards to the impact Valkogate is having on the LaDS community.
Y'all, I love the game too. I've been wanting to play it since it started, even pre-registered for it back in 2022 or 2023 (pretty sure I saw it as of '22) but couldn't play it for years because I found out my phone at the time couldn't run it. When I got the phone I have now, I tried it last fall, confirmed my love of Rafayel, and have been playing since then. I've heard the rumors and fears that the global server or worse, the entire game might get axed as a result of this entire mess, and I certainly hope not as it would break my heart and I would probably cry.
However, I'm extremely concerned (an understatement, not going to lie) about some of the comments I'm seeing in regards to those fears.
"I don't know what I'm going to do if they shut it down. I can't live without [insert LI here]!"
"I feel like a widow now that Valko has been cancelled."
Other such statements.
This doesn't mean you're weak or a bad person, but I'm genuinely concerned about the level of obsession and fixation with the game and its characters. You are human and you are worthy of love and respect from actual human beings. You are worthy of life, and no matter how wonderful a game or any fictional media may be, it's not worth potentially taking your life over or just giving up on life over as well. This is not to say off the cuff "geez, go touch grass!" because your pain is valid and legitimate and it's horrible to be faced with the potential of losing beloved characters/a beloved game. Fiction really does help us get through painful and terrible times in our lives, and it can and does serve a wonderful and healthy purpose in helping us learn about ourselves and allowing us to have an outlet for stress. However, fiction is not worth us throwing away our lives and futures for, and if we are feeling like we can't live without the material, we may need to seek some counseling if possible.
I speak from experience - in Late Winter 2022 I went through one of the hardest times in my life. I was about to start the second semester of SLP graduate school, and the day before the semester started, my toxic boyfriend broke up with me over Discord Voice. Several weeks later, in February, my beloved older dog died quickly from a horrible and mysterious illness I could not safely get her to the vet to treat (we were in the middle of an ice storm and roads we hazardous). During this time, I began rewatching Star Trek: Picard (S1) and immediately found comfort in the character of Elnor. My ex had lied to me a LOT about things and was very similar in behavior (sans the homicide attempts) to Narek, and Elnor's Absolute Candor was like a balm to my soul. I latched onto him as a comfort character (and he still is one) and was very excited for S2 of Star Trek: Picard.
Imagine my shock and horror when only two episodes in, Elnor got critically shot in the Confederation universe. And imagine how sick and heartbroken I was when I looked up spoilers the next week only to find out that he succumbed to his wounds and died. My comfort character, gone, just like that. I eagerly awaited his return and many people did raise an uproar online (not to the same degree as for Valko but the feeling is awfully similar) for Elnor to somehow be revived. Imagine my bittersweet joy when at the end of the season, he was brought back to life as a final act of compassion from Q (albeit at the expense of Rios, who I also liked). Then, finally, imagine my anger and renewed grief when Elnor was cut along with most of the new characters for Terry Matalas' legacy character-centric vision and his self-insert to exist.
All throughout this, I was in graduate school to become an SLP, something I had wanted since I was 23. If I had let the grief of losing Elnor as a character consume and destroy me, and if I had taken my own life as a result or if I had just given up on life as a whole, I wouldn't have gotten to enjoy and complete the mission I had worked hard to be able to experience. I wouldn't be the human I am today, living in my cozy apartment with my awesome roommate and looking forward to having some cuddle time with my new partner this weekend. My life isn't perfect, but it is *mine* and it is lovely. How heartbreaking it would have been if I had lost out on enjoying it because I gave up on it all after losing my comfort character.
I have had the honor and privilege of being able to help many children with being able to communicate because of my line of work. How heartbreaking it would've been to have one less SLP in the world due to grief over the loss and cancellation of Elnor.
Please, I'm begging you. If you're feeling like LaDS is the only thing keeping you going, seek out counseling if possible, or at least take a step back and care for yourself and your mental health. At the end of the day, it means so much more than just pixels and I understand, but your life is still too precious to throw away or sabotage for a fictional character or a game. This is your fandom auncle saying to please, please take care of yourself and reframe your thinking so you give yourself a fighting chance.
I love you, my fandom niblings. This fight's not over yet, but even if it does ever come to an unfavorable end, your fight and your future do not need to as well. 🫶🏻