#valtrmura

[tr4g1cc0m3dy]

happy pride

[popsigills]

oh nooo your boss is hot

[lordmarble]

What the fuck do you mean there's a shipping side of this fandom? (This quiz is a joke lol don't take it seriously at all)

Another crack quiz lmao. I still need to add images but I don’t feel like going around asking artist’s permission to insert ship art, nor do I feel like drawing all 13 results lol.

Have fun!

[marble-writes]

Sorry for being late for Halloween! 🎃 For your Bloodborne ships, what cringe couple's costumes would they trick or treat in?

NEVER TOO LATE FOR HALLOWEEN LOL

Also gonna extend this outside of ships, and do platonic besties and families too!

Brador and Maria - Barbenheimmer. Maria is Oppenheimer and Brador is Barbie.

Bradmon - Brador lies to Simon and says they're both gonna be dressed up as piñatas. Brador just shows up with a blindfold and baseball bat and chases Simon for the rest of the night.

Bowblade - Ludwig and Simon are doing one of those two-piece horse costumes and no, their builds and height differences do not work for it lol

They're the only ones I have a visual for lol

Djurador - Legoshi and Louis from Beastars lol cringe furries who bite each other

Djura and his beasts - 101 Dalmatians, where Djura is Roger and his beasts are all wearing polkadot bedsheets!

Gascoigne and Family - Gascoigne as the big bad wolf, Viola as little red riding hood, and the daughters as the three little piggies (the younger daughter holds a piglet plushie as the third piggie lol)

Holy Vicar - The Pope and a nun, except they couldn't find a nun costume in Ludwig's size so it turns out to be unintentionally slutty

Mariadeline - there were terrible miscommunications and Maria showed up as Morticia and Adeline showed up as Connecticut Clark. Which. Actually works

Micolash, Edgar, Damian, and whatever fourth poor soul managed to get dragged into this - the original four FNAF animatronics. Hur hur hur hur hur

Micolaurence - Jesse. Jesse we have to cook. Jesse

Moon Divorce - There were, again, terrible miscommunications. Gehrman showed up as the moon and Laurence showed up as a divorce attorney.

Valtrmura - Valtr is a fork and Yams is a giant piece of steak lol

[irreverentizzyposting]

somone please draw valtr and yamamura wearing these shirts.

[marble-writes]

Oh my bad for not explaining that well marble So this thing called "rizz" means Charming people or basically flirting It's not really NSFW :) Just the good ol flirting

OH THANK GOD DJDJJDKDJDJDJEJD Flirting headcanons it is!!!

It's still slight nsfw because. Yeah. Brador is in it lol

Bloody Crow

IMMACULATE RIZZ.

His problem is though, he mainly appeals to the "annoying anime or tumblr girl" type because of his slim, twinkish build and vampire aesthetic. And he finds them too easy, as in he can't get on their nerves!

But he's very smooth, plays off whatever the other person is saying perfectly like the smug little fuck he is. It's almost annoying!

But he's not doing it to actually flirt though, he just wants to mess with people for his own entertainment! What a heartbreak!!

Brador

I wouldn't even call it flirting, it's just him pulling up to men with one earring at the pub and very explicitly telling them how he's gonna give it to them good.

Like. Sure he butters them up by complimenting their looks first and then he's immediately like "I wanna see that pretty face make an ahegao 😏😏😏"

He actually hasn't said that but you know slskdjdksk it's Brador, use your imagination

And the thing is....,., It works

He pulls no punches, he makes it clear that he wants his nightly hookup and that's that. He got to fuck away the loneliness and unrequited feelings for Laurence, that's for sure!

Djura

In the past (pre old Yharnam) he was like Brador, sought out dudes who were clearly gay and immediately went in for the intention to fuck.

He was more subtle about it though, you know, bending over a little bit with a wink wink nudge nudge. That's not subtle at all actually lol.

And unlike Brador, he was more likely to back off if the other party wasn't interested.

Honestly, he kinda missed having hookups and flirting after the burning. But it gave him a lot of time to self-reflect and realize he couldn't be happy from that lifestyle. Maybe he should get over his fear of commitment or whatever lol

Eileen

She doesn't flirt.

People come to her to flirt and she immediately turns them down lmao

She is genuinely uninterested, though. And should someone continue their advances, she can and will stab them!

Gehrman

What the hell is flirting? Don't you mean longing for about 500,000 words and never actually confessing?

Henryk

*cat stare and slow blink from across the room*

And maybe a pretty trinket given once in a while, and him actually going out of his way to socialize with his interest. Perhaps the interest will mysteriously find roses in their mailbox!

Like, he's the type to keep to himself and his family. If he's trying to flirt, it WILL be noticed. And it's going to be a slow fuckin' burn.

Laurence

A HUGE FUCKING TEASE. THE GREATEST RIZZLER OF ALL.

Mr. Lozza over here likes to lead people around. Leave little cookie crumbs of hunts. A little lingering touch on the shoulder. A sly little smile. A little hushed whisper in the ear. A bastard.

He says things that could be read either as flirtatious or friendly and no one knows!

Kiss first. Confess later.

Ludwig

Buys 'em a drink first. Always!

He's always friendly towards everyone, but if he's staring a little longer, offering food from his plate, being more attentive...

But whoever he is flirting with MUST confess first, because he sure as hell isn't!

And that's the problem, it really seems like he just wants to be a friend!! His behaviours don't change that much, he's just slightly more friendly! In fact, it's so friendly that if he were to drop off a bouquet of roses, it would be a point that the interest believes that it's still just a friendly thing!

Knowing this, please imagine how long it took for Laurence and Ludwig to finally get together, especially considering Ludwig's himbo brain.

Maria

Her flirting something I like to call... Penguin style.

Giving pretty girl a pretty rock. A little thing that brings her joy. That should be something shared.

Feed pretty girl food. Give her another rock. Maybe give her a flower. Things that are pretty and remind Maria of her (Adeline).

...and she can't do anything else because she is Autistic™️ Shy™️ can't even infodump to flirt fhjdnsjs

Every time she tries a pickup line she fumbles over it like an absolute buffoon and that's ok lol, she is still a loser girlboss

Micolash

"Hey check this out! *Infodumps or does something incredibly stupid and on brand for him*"

That's it. That's the Micolash section of this post.

If you are not interested in his infodump then he does not want you lol

Simon

No.

1.) He is shy

2.) He is an aquarius/pisces cusp and

3.) He is a skinny loser who has deep insecurities and does not believe he is truly worthy of anyone, especially as a harrowed hunter and the path he's chosen against the greater powers

He just. Sits there and pines. Imagines him and his crush holding hands and being more than just friends. He is a silly little fool.

Now knowing this, please imagine how long it will take for Simon and Ludwig to be a thing. <3

Valtr

Shows up to your house with roses and calls your father 'sir' and mother 'ma'am' only. Kisses on the back of the hand. True gentleman and everything.

Or at least, that's what would've happened with him and Yamamura if Yamamura lived at his own place? But he lived with Valtr, and Valtr had to be constipated with love for the entire year until he broke lol

Valtr is the type to yearn for MONTHS before even showing a hint of interest.

Yamamura

Flirting?!

No! No boyfriend until he married!!! Lol

[marble-writes]

Assorted bloodborne ships for your consumption

[marble-writes]

headcanons for the times bb characters had to go to the hospital for sex related injuries lol

LMAOOOOO

Brador - Dick bent from fucking too hard. Another from breaking the bed from fucking too hard and getting penetrated by a loose spring.

Djura - Once because he told Brador to double fist him with a dildo too, another for throat gonorrhea, and another time for shoving something that definitely shouldn't have been up his ass (a large gun)

Fauxefka - getting a little too eager with the medical play with Yurie and accidentally stabbed herself with a contaminated needle. Her nurse was Yurie. They fucked again right afterwards.

Laurence - neck broke from Ludwig sitting on his face. Has also accidentally stabbed himself with contaminated needles.

Ludwig - bed broke from sitting on Laurence's face and getting stabbed by a loose spring.

Maria - orgasmed too hard from Adeline's tentacles and thought the shaking was a serious medical issue.

Micolash - tentacles went too far into his large intestine and he couldn't get them out.

Valtr - not necessarily related to the sex itself, but had sex with Yamamura right after killing a bunch of beasts while slowly bleeding out from mortal wounds.