#vampire lawyer

[kookiedeadbutterflies]

How much do you wanna bet that Lestat is going to psychically harass the hell out of Louis’ vampire lawyer man?

Louis may be immune to Lestat’s telepathy, but he’s not…

[cinemaocd]

I had a dream last night that I was “Vera Kilshott” Vampire Lawyer.

Was I vampire who was also a lawyer, a lawyer for vampires or an expert in vampire law?

Yes.

[funnyordie]

Before 'Wonder Woman,' Chris Pine starred in 'Vampire Lawyer.' Watch the video that changed his career forever.

[cinemaocd]

Vera Kilshott dresses in 18th Century menswear. When asked why “menswear” Vera Kilshott said, “it’s the 21st century, honey, gender is deader than I am.”

[cinemaocd]

Vera Kilshott has a twitter account and the most popular tweet is as follows, “First world vampire problems: not having a reflection makes it really hard to put on lipstick.”

[cinemaocd]

You might be wondering what sorts of cases Vera Kilshott handles. About 15% involve customs laws about importation of soil from foreign countries. Twenty percent are vampires being tried for criminal offenses not related to vampirism directly (vampires, it turns out have sticky fingers). Roughly a third are assault charges involving hypnotism and blood sucking. And the rest are nuisance lawsuits filed by Anne Rice.

[cinemaocd]

Vera Kilshott’s favorite TV show is Night Court.

[cinemaocd]

One day Alison came into the office without wiping her shoes on the mat. “Mind the carpet, it’s 18th century,” Vera said. “Literally the entire place is 18th century, even the mat. It’s all from when you were alive,” Alison argued. She sighed and wiped her feet on the mat before proceeding onto the carpet.