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Boeing B-29 Superfortress | Recalling the Hiroshima event, post-war, and...

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Dear Ladies, Is There Any Such Thing As Too Much Sex?

Dear Ladies, Is There Any Such Thing As Too Much Sex?

You can never get enough of a good thing, right? It turns out that sentiment might be wrong when it comes to sex.

Of course, there’s the physical side of having too much sex: As Kat Van Kirk, certified sex therapist and author of The Married Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to Saving Your Sex Life, explains, one or both partners can experience rashes, irritation, or even genital micro-tears…

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5 Sexy Ways to Get Ready for Your Wedding Night

Photo: Getty Images

Think you’ve got this whole wedding-night sex thing down pat, especially if you’ve had practice? Think again.

“The things you do to prepare for what most people consider one of the biggest nights of their lives can pay dividends of confidence, comfort, and knowledge — and this goes double for those newlyweds who haven’t already had sex,” says Carol Queen, Ph.D., sexologist and author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone.

So here, our experts give you five ways to prepare for wedding night sex all-but-guaranteed to make it oh-so-good.

1. Expand your knowledge base. Asks Queen, “How much do you know about your own anatomy and that of your partner? Do you know quite a bit about bodies, arousal, various ways to experience pleasure? If you’re expecting the wonders of sex to unfold for you on your wedding night, it helps a lot to have some information to help guide you.” So before you get down on your big day, research basic biology and test your and your partner’s hot spots to ensure you feel comfortable and confident. “Look at it this way: You probably can cook if you can’t follow a recipe, but recipe books open up a whole world of kitchen possibilities,” Queen says. “Sex information does the same for the bedroom. People who have little fact-based information about sex often do not have very good sex.”

2. Get comfortable talking about sex. Even if you’re waiting for the wedding night, you can and should still talk about the sex you want to have. Why? Not only will it get you more comfortable with describing what you want between the sheets long before the big night, but “a bonus here is that you learn more about your partner’s sexual beliefs and values — and maybe even your own,” says Queen. “And when you can hold your own in a conversation [about sex], then is the time to start asking your partner about their sexual history, or asking what their ideal sexual experience would consist of, or telling them that your clitoris is pretty sensitive to touch unless there’s lubricant, or any of the zillions of things that are worthwhile to discuss and share with your sexual partner.”

See More: 7 Rules for Having the Best Wedding-Night Sex

3. Schedule a boudoir session. Body issues be damned. By slipping on sexy lingerie and seeing yourself the way your partner sees you — that is to say, gorgeous — you’ll boost your wedding night confidence.” Not only do boudoir photos help to make a lovely wedding gift to your betrothed if you desire, but that process of getting all dolled up and into your sensual skin can help you discover a whole new side to yourself,” explains Kat Van Kirk, certified sex therapist and author of The Married Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to Saving Your Sex Life. “Many women report feeling empowered and confident by going through the process.”

4. Think about your expectations. Advises Queen, “Especially if this is your first time or you have extremely romantic fantasies about the wedding night, give some thought as to what you really believe and desire it’ll be like.” Now’s the time, then, to envision what you really want from the night and what could happen to blow your mind (or seriously disappoint you). “For some couples, getting too tipsy at the reception and feeling too exhausted to do much of anything would be sometime to laugh off a couple of days into the honeymoon, and for the rest of their marriage,” Queen says. “For others, it would be the hugest and most terrible fail! Knowing where on the expectation continuum you fall can help you prepare: To calibrate your day to support your energy level and degree of sobriety, to share a discussion with your partner about your hopes, to chat with already-married friends to learn some of the varying ways the big night can go.”

5. Learn to be present in the moment. It’s good to be present in any moment, but this is especially true when it comes to sex. That being said, fresh off the high of your wedding ceremony, your wedding night won’t be the easiest time to employ this tactic. That’s why you must practice being present now. “People who have a hard time being present in the bedroom tend to have more sexual dysfunction, lower sexual satisfaction, and more issues with arousal and orgasm specifically,” says Van Kirk, all issues you don’t want to face on the wedding night. Van Kirk also advises that in addition to practicing your mental strength, it’s smart to make sure your wedding night bed will be free from distractions.

Source: Bride

5 Sexy Ways to Get Ready for Your Wedding Night was originally published on Autumn Leaves

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Want More Sex? Ask Your Spouse to Do the Dishes

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The sexiest thing your spouse can do for you may not be a back massage or even a strip tease. According to recent research, couples who enjoy more frequent and satisfying sex for both partners are those who equally share the chores.

Researchers at the University of Alberta surveyed 1,338 German couples to determine whether the amount of housework the male partner performed could predict the healthfulness of the couple’s sex life. They found that when men perceive their contributions to chores as fair, the couple is more likely to have frequent and satisfying sex. And while there are certainly cultural differences between our two nations, our experts believe American partners can definitely benefit from this research.

“It’s no mystery that women’s lives are busier now than ever before, and help around the house is greatly appreciated,” says Madeleine Castellanos, M.D, sex therapist and author of Wanting to Want: What Kills Your Sex Life and How to Keep It Alive. “When a partner pitches in to help with the chores, it helps free up time and energy that can be better directed to one’s sex life, while it’s almost impossible to get turned on when you are exhausted from trying to do it all. More importantly, it sends a signal that your partner values you and your time, which helps you feel closer to them.”

And the more regularly you share in choreplay, as Sheryl Sandberg coined this form of foreplay, the more you’ll build up the feels for one another. “More reciprocity breeds positive regard toward one another,” explains Kat Van Kirk, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist. “If you genuinely feel good about your partner and aren’t carrying on-going resentment, you will tend to feel more open and loving towards them,” including when it comes time to get down.

See More: 6 Reasons Married Sex is the Hottest Sex

So if you’d like your partner to put down his go-to moves and pick up a broom so that you can breath some of that positive energy into your sex life, don’t nag, says Van Kirk. “Instead of making a power play out of the situation, you can make it more of a game and make it more fun,” she says.

You can get into a routine of splitting chores — and having more sex! — by discussing which chores you’d like to do, suggests Van Kirk, rather than simply assuming they’ll somehow get done. “Many times even progressive couples feel that chores fall along gender lines,” she says. “It would be more proactive to engage about what chores each of your prefer to do.”

Finally, she adds, “one person should be in charge of assigning all tasks. Even if the ‘list’ seems equitable, it can play into role expectation and power struggles between the two of you, such as withholding of sex.” But be careful. Because, at the same time, “no one should hold all of the cards when it comes to housework or your sex life,” Van Kirk says. “It should feel shared and reciprocal in a natural way. This is more about setting up a pattern of behavior that both of you feel good about. Not ‘tit for tat’ — excuse the pun. It’s about a feeling of overall fulfillment when it comes to your relationship.”

Source: Brides

Want More Sex? Ask Your Spouse to Do the Dishes was originally published on Autumn Leaves

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The lone remaining crewman of the Enola Gay -- which dropped the first atomic bomb on Japan near the end of WWII -- has died in Georgia, US media reported. Theodore Van Kirk, also known as "Dutch," died Monday of natural causes at the Park Springs Retirement Community in Stone Mountain, Georgia, NBC television reported. Van Kirk was 93. Twenty-four years old at the time, Van Kirk was the navigator on the Enola Gay, a B-29 Superfortress. Source: AFP