it’s time for a VanceRant. or, more precisely, a “philosophical session with Auntie Mari about life as a human”. because, alright, i was having a conversation with one of the loveliest people in my life and, while this topic wasn’t overtly discussed, the residual energy of the subtext stuck with me like a naggy shadow.
and now i’m going to share it with those of you who need to hear it, be you a content creator like myself or a lurker or just a person doing person things being a person who has those pesky, confusing, contradictory and sometimes anxiety-inducing person thoughts.
*grabs you all by your beautiful, squishy faces and stares imploringly into your eyes*
fuck Perfect. fuck Imperfect. those terms DO NOT APPLY to people. to humans. hell, they don’t apply to living things or the things we create. yes, i’ll often toss the word at someone’s writing when it hits me the way i like to be hit, in all those tender, fleshy places that make me feel shit. i use it as loosely as people use the word “love”.
i love coffee and slippers and autumn rain and i told a cook i worked with once, “omg, dude i love you” because his tirade about Table 12 was inspiring ...
but, and i can’t stress this enough, “perfect”, if you wanna go ahead and impress the definition on anything, can (or should, i guess, because i’m not a linguist but damn if i don’t think i’m right as sin) only be applied technically, to, like, a circle. or a smooth stone, or a straight line, or the undented body of a new car. and “imperfection”? you guessed it: it’s the dent. it’s the chip in the stone. it’s the wobbly line or the “i suppose it’s more of an oval, oops”.
imperfection doesn’t apply to people. to humans. to our personalities or our creative output, etc. it can’t. because, hey, guess what? people CANNOT BE PERFECT. people also CANNOT BE IMPERFECT.
absolutely, we have quirks and traits and areas of our skills/personalities that we perhaps need to nurture, develop, grow (or, conversely, areas we should probably release into the ether because they’re not doing us any favors, my guy), but no one started as “perfect” and then became “imperfect”. or vice versa. and if you think you’re perfect, let me confidently, with a smile, burst that bubble for you: you ain’t.
AND THAT’S FLUFFING WONDERFUL.
Jesus, it’s also liberating as hell.
just. do you. be you. enjoy you. the way you live, the way you act, the way you eat Nutella with a spoon or sprawl on the floor instead of on the couch or talk with your hands to the point of probably inventing your own sign language that only your loved ones can interpret; the way you eat 8 crisps at once, the way you sleep on your back like the vampire you are, the way that one damn strand of hair NEVER does what you want—
that’s not “imperfect”, that’s just you. no one else is going to be able to do you so you should do you to the best of your ability because, if the universe didn’t need what you bring to the table (even on the smallest scale), you wouldn’t be here. another sperm-child would’ve been chosen. the universe ain’t that mysterious, fam. i’m not going to go down that philosophical rabbit hole right now so just trust me, okay?
the same goes for not-yous. seriously, it’s okay to admire and be inspired by someone. however, don’t get caught up comparing yourself since, yo, you can’t ever be that not-you. and that’s fan-freaking-tastic since we already have a not-you, now we need a you. capice?
now, specifically for my fellow content creators: guys, don’t bother striving for perfect because that shit is just ... if you stress yourself out by putting pressure on yourself, that, in turn, will just make you unhappy with everything you work on. thus, nothing is going to be perfect in any sense of the word because you aren’t going to be happy with it. instead, strive to be PROUD. strive to be JOYFUL. strive to be EXCITED to share!!
hell, i have things both on AO3 and floating in the space of my old laptop that i LOVE TO DEATH that are so badly written (imo) but i won’t ever delete them because i’m PROUD of the story. i still, to this day, appreciate that i told that story the way it asked to be told, with my amateur voice, in my amateur words, with my amateur experience telling a story of any kind.
i also have things that i HATE because i wrote them for the sake of filling a prompt; i edited the shit out of them to the point of losing my voice, my creative edge, my personal ta-da.
so. FUCK PERFECT. but also FUCK IMPERFECT.
be human. it’s a helluva lot easier and way more fun.
