@vaquiero said : ‘ i’m in love with you . ’
↳ 𝐇𝐎𝐙𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 / accepting .
run . that’s the first instinct to hearing those words , and she believes she has every reason to --- they haven’t been together all that long , and she’d made sure to warn him that she might have to up and leave one day . perhaps it’s a gentle warning , but this is indra . nothing about her is gentle , and it’s far more likely that her warning is just a way of leaving herself a proverbial window to climb out of , should things look like they’re going to hurt .
they’d rushed everything . judged each other too quick , fought it out , fucked everything over ( figuratively and literally ) and she doesn’t remember having a moment to herself , since . they’d both taken turns making excuses not to leave , finding reasons to see each other again , to conjoin so thoroughly that she was beginning to forget where he ended and she began . she thought heartbreak would be like her chest was caving in , like she was drowning or falling .
it was more like the rush of cold air in the morning when he got up to shower .
what did it mean , then ? did she . . . love him ? when did a little fun and self - liberation turn into this ache in her chest ? shit , they haven’t even been together , that long . sans the time she thought she hated him , they’d been doing this for . . . what , a few weeks ?
they weren’t doing any of this right . he’d smiled at her too soon , kissed her too soon , fucked her too soon . she felt like she’d walked into a whirlwind . isn’t this supposed to happen over months ? years ? he was supposed to date her more . fight her more . tear down her walls , one by one , in some romantic , grandiose way that showed her their love was like gravity , yanking her to his core and holding her there . he was doing the opposite --- he was taking her hand and jumping off a cliff , floating and soaring away with whatever feeling carried him . this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen .
why was he always fucking her plans up ?
but his lips are so soft against her skin . his limbs tangled into hers so perfectly she swore they fit there , belonged there . run , she thinks again , but then she realizes that doing that would bring the cold air rushing in , and that something in her brain fears that more than it does anything else . i can’t , she thinks . i don’t want to .
she wonders if he ever thinks before he does anything --- it felt like he was always throwing himself into impulse , with her , and she shifts a little closer , her nose buried against the freckled shoulder she’d been sleeping on so often , lately . if this isn’t love , she’s almost scared to find out what is . . . but she knows he’ll find it before she’ll even figure out what it looks like .
she leans up , face lazily hovering over his own . her lips fit against his so perfectly --- not like a jigsaw puzzle , or whatever people wrote about , but like a conversation with no words , with someone who finally understood , one that she never wanted to end . her nose grazes against his when she pulls away , then she collapses back into his arms --- she yields .
❛ you aren’t supposed to say that , yet . ❜ but she’s smiling , just brimming with the urge to say it in return . to let herself love . ❛ --- i love you , too . ❜