It was like routine now, going to Josh’s on the nights she knew he would be alone. It had gotten to a point where she would feel STRANGE when she hadn’t seen Josh, even if she had been in contact with him. Always checking in, always wanting to be a present in his life, always needing him to know that she was THERE if she needed him.
She never pressured him to talk, she knew he was seeing a doctor for that but she was there when he wanted to talk. She listened, she hoped she was being helpful but most importantly, she was there, wasn’t that what mattered most? She was there for him, there for him in the way that she hadn’t been for Hannah and Beth.
Most nights when he fell asleep, she often didn’t want to move. Sometimes, she physically couldn’t if he had fallen asleep against her. But most nights, she stayed, sleeping beside him, curled up with him so he knew she was there. On the nights, she did leave, she always PROMISED to come back. Even if he didn’t ask, she promised and he knew her for long enough to know how serious she took promises.
It wasn’t like this night had been any different from their usually ones, they were just watching films, eating pizza, drinking soda and LAUGHING . She couldn’t remember the last time they had actually been laughing together and she couldn’t deny that it was a feeling that made her feel those familiar butterflies in her stomach, made her heart beat a little faster and she was smiling a lot.
Josh had always had an unique effect on her, one that no one else ever had. She had always caught herself looking at him, thinking that there was no one else like him. He was beautiful, a word that she never used lightly, usually only saving for breathtaking views when climbing. But Josh Washington? He was so BEAUTIFUL to her, she had never really looked at anyone else because he was always the only thing she ever saw. Something about tonight, whether it was the fact that she knew he was as LONELY as she was, or the fact that they had been laughing together, or that his hand had been on hers for a while now or that she had caught him looking at her in a way that she knew she looked at him. But she finally said it, finally gave him permission to KISS her.
She was nervous, this was a boundary they had tiptoed around but never had actually crossed, yet she was tired of holding things back. If she had learnt anything from the twins disappearance was that she had to stop holding back, allow herself to actually have the things or people she wanted because . . . she may NOT get a second chance.
Hazel eyes meet his eyes, aware of how close they were to each other and it was a moment that she had been waiting for so long. Eyes fluttered closed, a soft sigh leaving her lips as his hand cups her face, leaning in a little towards him and she felt like she had stopped breathing in the anticipation. A smile pulls at her lips slightly as his nose moves against hers, feeling his warm breath against her lips before he kisses her.
Body tenses for a moment, feeling herself relax the moment he continues to kiss her, finding her courage to kiss him back. Hands glide up his chest, feeling the muscles of his body as her hands move to his face, fingers moving over his jawline and cheekbones before moving into his hair. Despite how CLOSE they were, it wasn’t enough, shifting closer till her chest was pressed against his. There was no room for anything else, no loss, no pain, it was just her and Josh, NOTHING else mattered.