#vent xx

[toshiyelling]

i miss my best friend

like, shit ain't ever going back. but

those were some good times.

before we tried to date again

that summer with CJ

everything was so good

and things will be good again. in new and different ways.

i have no doubt.

but damn, those were good, and shit i miss them both

i wonder if I ever wont

[toshiyelling]

gods griffin mcelroy is one of the best story tellers i've ever experienced

[bride-of-hemlock]

how it feels to like evil/grey characters (*most of the time)

[toshiyelling]

goddamn it.

now I'm livid.

don't really wanna be. but I am.

I'm furious about whatever the FUCK I'm supposed to be focusing on.

nobody gives a shit but me. I have ZERO motivation to be the initiator ever rn and it's not like I have anywhere to out my fucking energy

........

I'm really agitated. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to talk. I don't want anything to do. with YOU. and you likely remain 100% oblivious. fucking whatever. congrats

2024 begins with me angry as ever. ignored as ever. and at a loss. time is fake, so maybe I'll try to lump these vibes with 2023 and

let

them

die

[toshiyelling]

on the one hand

I will do anything i can to prevent or help my brother from killing himself

but also I might just kill myself instead 🙃 🙃

never know these days

[toshiyelling]

i know i might be yelling into the void. but I would prefer to see hot girls on my timeline/etc than some people I barely like who don't respect me at all

hot girls > complicated ass holes

[toshiyelling]

for fucking real

I don't know why you're all up in arms over smth that I didn't do????

you're mad bc I didn't respond to smth you wanted a response to.

how about you be straight forward and actually ASK for what want/need ???

[toshiyelling]

i dreamt about him ...... twice.

i miss him?

but idk how to like

.. bridge that gap? since he left??

I'm totally fine 90% of the time. and then I remember that idk if/when I'll see him again and I don't like it

huh. what do?....