#ventmaxxing

[max-is-not-well]

yayayayayayay I feel SO LOVED‼️‼️

VENT below cut

ive had a DAY of my mom atp

(and the only reason im posting is bc im running out of space and need to validate myself by showing myself this stuff is real and did happen, due to my short memory)

she literally invalidates my food allergies, specifically getting me things im allergic to, and getting upset when I wont eat it. that and I have sensory issues, so a lot is hard to eat for me, and im getting less mobile anymore as well ( T∀T)

and, after the second conversation, she came into my room, hurt my foot twice (I have ingrowns and she usually ignores them + isnt careful abt them at all) and got mad after my reflexes kicked in. ...and I kicked her – but ive warned her multiple times before – if someone tries to touch me without my permission, ill instinctively kick, or punch

yes, she always (and I mean ALWAYSS) steps over my boundaries, crosses lines I keep having to draw, and does NOT respect me in the slightest, in terms of my preferences, allergies, phobias, and everything else.

this wouldnt be as bad, but im currently in a depressive episode, and im close to the edge already as it is.

she keeps yelling, and getting angry at me, and im already shaking writing this (once again) and i legitimately have no idea what to do, I cant take this.

I try to keep her happy so she doesnt get violent, but it never works long enough, or good enough.

sorry for the vent, anyway 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。

[st4rii-w-bl3gh]

“I think [sibling] is gonna be a lady’s man…”

SPOKEN BY A SIXTY-SEVEN YEAR OLD WOMAN ABOUT HER OWN GRANDSON.

[max-is-not-well]

woag

nother vent, yippee

yk, I was feeling better after talking abt things that have been bothering me, but then my mom just. aughghghhghghdhsj

me, going up to her trying to get her attention for a joke

she suddenly puts her hand on my shoulder to put on her s l i p - o n sandals (I nudge her hand off)

I give her a look

suddenly, she : "yknow, I have a feeling that if my life was in your hands, id die."

uh. yeah. no shiz. I am your youngest disabled child. what would I possibly do. (I didnt say that, but. ehh)

she: "you cant just be mean to someone then get mad at them for being rude. thats not how the world works." (many people would disagree, I think)

well. cool, fun. amazing. im gonna go stare at old positive reaffirmations from my moots now

🐛➿️➿️➿️

[max-is-not-well]

my family's pulling me back into relapse :(

[max-is-not-well]

ALRIFHT settling an argument,

is beating someone until theyre bruised justified if they took two pieces of your candy❓️

yes, of course‼️‼️‼️

NO⁉️

bro what

Voting ended onJun 2

this idiot favorite child is arguing that it IS justified 😭😭😭

AAHAGDHAHAHAAAGHHHH 💥💥💥💥🐛

[max-is-not-well]

I worded it nicely, once

this ^ is a simple-worded explanation of what I just call, my 'bad days'.

a more in depth explanation would be..

my body moves slower, brain fog is very prominent, my movement is awkward since its REALLY hard to move around, and my overall mindset is constantly switching between coherent and not there at all.

however, my mom doesnt like this, therefore I am wrong about myself in the most universal way, apparently.

upon telling her that today is also one of my bad days, she just whipped out the "but you weren't like this yesterday, when we went to the bookstore‼️"

which.

yeah, i cant control this bro 💔💔🐛

[max-is-not-well]

aint NO WAY my mom is trying to convince ME to help HER w her being unable to get up in the morning 😭😭😭

like, how do I say no?? ive done that before, and it always left me WAY more exhausted, and it wasnt even afternoon

like wdym EVERY day??? no?? im a minor?? stop staying up late❓️❓️😭

I get shes literally ill, but WHAT

she kept saying "we'll help eachother" "teamwork" an all that, but NO THANKS?? no offense, but i do NOT want her in my room, yelling and screaming at me to get up in the morning

yes, I can wake her up, and its fairly easy if you do it right, but you dont see ME screaming at her because shes asleep when I dont want her to be

it is genuinely SO EASY to wake people up without traumatizing them more, but ig she doesnt care abt that

and she was all like "we'll push eachother‼️‼️", like. no. just, no

I feel like we both know im going to be the one pushing more positively, and constructively (because ive done it before), and she is NOT going to be trying and will likely forget about it in the coming few days, while she gets mad at me for 'not trying enough', or smth stupid

she knows I have limitations, but is now specifically targeting those, I guess. hooray for ableism

I am seriously NOT going to do this, but she wont take that, I already know uh

all in all, WHAT DO I DO 😭😭😭💔💔🐛

[max-is-not-well]

IM DYING WHY DID MY MOM SEND ME THIS 😭😭🙏

(vent? below)

∠※。.:*:・'°☆∠※。.:*:・'°☆∠※。.:*:・'°☆∠※。.:*:・'°☆

but seriously, I dont know what she expects if she doesn't respect me, my boundaries, my literal allergies, or disabilities

and yeah, her husband does do all of that – i know he does

but when he was belittling everything i did growing up, to the point that i still dont do a lot of that stuff today, she didnt do anything– pretty much told me to suck it up and move on (which is WILD to be telling an at-the-time 9 year old, for YEARS)

and yeah, this is also probably a ploy at trying to manipulate me into talking to her again, but like

I stopped doing that for a reason (went no contact with her verbally after she threatened to trigger me, which said trigger was from assault, when I was too, A CHILD)

I do NOT (i want to emphasize this) disrespect her, I just dont respect her. which, is fair in my book of being treated like last place my whole life.

I can understand that she doesnt get why im not talking to her (very nicely doesnt remember doing any wrong 🥺🥺), but im not just gonna tell her why. YES I know this is counterproductive, but I just for once, want her to figure it out on her own.

ive always been the parentified child, DESPITE being the youngest, and it has absolutely exhausted me to no ends. I am NOT an adult yet, and it isnt teaching me anything other than adults will hurt more than they give – which, surprise, I've always known

and of course, I could just be reading into this too much, but its hard not to given the history all there.

I dont know if its an a-hole move to not respect her any, but she lost it all when she stopped being my mom, and started being my sister (emotionally)

this is all annoying, I know, but I will forget it if i dont write it down

uh.

thanks for reading, if you have

🍭🐛🫶

(i feel bad for these, but im also trying to figure it out, sorry 🫵🐛💔)