#vera:drabble

[ofviolentdeath]

Characters: Stone and Vera Word Count: 786 Trigger Warnings: Parent loss, grief

@babyitsmagic (this one is less painful?)

"I see Papa found you," Vera remarked as she handed him an unopened beer and dropped down beside him on the porch.

"Assuming you're the reason he knew where to look?"

She merely shrugged as she opened her own beer and saluted him with it.

Stone didn't know why he had expected an answer; his sister wasn't the most talkative person. Hell, she probably spoke less than anyone else in the house, but she had always tried to be present, even at his worst.

It hadn't made things easier in the past, but he appreciated the consistency of it these days.

"Think he's the first person I ever really mourned," he finally muttered, rolling the bottle between his hands.

"You mourned yourself," she pointed out, staring out over the yard. The porch was the same, the yard looked mostly the same (the tree was bigger, but that was pretty much it), yet it all felt different. Maybe because this was a first for the two of them.

"That's not the same thing and we both know it."

"Mourning is mourning, Stone. Grief is different every time. Losing Dad wasn't the same as losing my birth parents. I think it hurt more, but I was a child and I didn't have the words for my grief at the time."

His head turned, and he couldn't help but stare at her.

"I think that's the most you've ever said to me."

"I've had to get better about talking since we lost Dad. Papa tried his best, but he was barely keeping it together. I knew this kind of loss, so it was easier for me to hold it together."

"That doesn't sound very fair to you."

Another shrug, a sad smile tugging on her lips. "Maybe it wasn't, but I had help. Aunt Viv and Aunt Maddie came out to help. Del did too. I think Del coming around was good for Milay, especially. We had family that made sure things carried on. When Papa reached a point where he was able to face it, he was there for me. There for all of us. He just needed a little time to adjust himself. He really loved Dad."

Stone nodded at that, understanding to some degree. He had come home for the funeral but hadn't been able to stay. It had been too much, and he just...couldn't. Riley had tried, but Stone had shut down for a while, refused to face it or cry, tried his hardest not to feel that loss for as long as he could.

"It's good they had you," he sighed, finally opening his beer and mirroring the salute she had given him. "And thank you. For letting...Papa know where I was."

Vera caught the acknowledgment and bit her tongue. For all the years that Stone had been her brother, and he was her brother, even when he couldn't accept it, she had never heard him call either of their parents his parents. It was only a shame Dad hadn't gotten to live long enough to hear it. "I figured you needed him as much as he needed to be there for you in that moment. Grief is easier to shoulder when you're not going through it alone."

"So I'm beginning to understand."

She let silence settle between them, noting the way Stone was fidgeting with his bottle and figuring he was working himself up to say something else. He was always the hardest to read, but, aside from Milay, Vera probably knew him the best.

"Thank you. For always being there. For all of us. You're a better sister than I deserved, and I'm sorry I was such an ass to you in particular."

"You were scared and drowning, Stone. You were also mourning the life and the family you had lost."

"Yeah, but that's not an excuse for the way I acted." She was right, she usually was, and he still didn't like it, but it didn't change the fact that she deserved an apology if nothing else.

"No, but I understood. You had lost so much and were terrified of yourself, of all of us. I didn't want you to feel alone," she admitted, her gaze shifting from the yard to her younger brother.

"Why are you hardly ever wrong? It's a really annoying trait," he muttered, glancing away for a moment.

"Because someone in this house has to have common sense," she teased, relieved for the small break in the heaviness that had been hanging around him.

His eyes rolled and, after a moment of hesitation, he reached over and shoved her shoulder. "You're lucky you're a good sister because otherwise you'd just be fucking annoying."

"I can be both."

[ofviolentdeath]

30 Days of Drabbles: Day 1

Character(s)::Vera Word Count::506 Trigger Warnings::Parental loss @babyitsmagic tagging you because I know you’re going to yell at me for this

                                                                   ~*~

Things had been difficult without dad. Papa was barely holding on and the more emotionally adept of them were struggling at best. Vera was better at coping, of pushing things aside to take care of the others with a calm quietness. She made sure there was food on the table for all meals, the house kept clean, pushed the others to remember basic functions, and seemed to be taking it all in stride.

After all, this wasn't the first time Vera had lost a parent.

Maybe that should have made this easier, but it didn't. It brought back the memories she had tried most of her life to ignore, to forget, to pretend didn't still haunt her dreams on stormy autumn nights.

She had lost parents before so she knew the unbearable pain that came with that loss. For a lot of them, Chase and August were the only parents they had ever known. For her, they had been the parents she had chosen after her own had been taken from her. Truthfully, she was probably the only one of them that had had that kind of choice and she had never once regretted it.

It was closer to 2am when she slipped out of the house, wrapped up in one of dad's old jackets. Papa had let them all take what clothing they had wanted. He hadn't wanted any of them to feel like they had to let go of dad until they were ready and Vera doubted any of them would ever truly be ready aside from maybe Stone. But even he had come home for the funeral, silent and clinging to the hand of his boyfriend during the service. No matter the circumstance, they were still a family and he had still been their dad, flaws and all.

The gravel crunched under her bare feet as she made her way along the cemetery path, the steps to the grave ones she had memorized despite not visiting since he had been laid to rest. She knew papa came out most nights and occasionally slept there, making his way back home at the first hints of morning light, but she didn't intend to stay that long.

Her fingers traced over the words on his stone, trembling as her vision blurred with tears. They had all known this would come eventually, dad had been entirely human and humans just didn't live as long, but it didn't make it hurt any less. She had wanted more time.

"I don't know if you can hear me, wherever you ended up, but we miss you, dad. I miss you."

Her voice sounded strangled, even with the words whispered. It was probably the longest sentence she had ever said to him and he wasn't even there to hear it. The realization of that crashed over her and in moments, she was pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face against them and weeping, guilt and grief flooding through her.

She understood then why papa slept at his grave.