For all of the growth and inner-strength Meiko had developed throughout her time on the First, for all of the times she had managed to steel herself and keep her damn mouth shut -- despite all of that, she had crumbled under the Ancient’s bid to speak the truth. An ugly, depressing truth. A nightmare.
And the pain she had shared wasn’t even her full concern. It was time itself. Elidibus, or what had remained of him, had said she could not change the past. But hadn’t she, just by opening her big bloody trap?
She and Venat had regrouped with Hythlodaeus and Hades in the effort to locate Hermes and Meteion once more, but she still felt uneasy. Despite reassurances from the former Azem that everything would be fine, the guilt in her remained. As did the worry for her future. She and her brother had fought the Ascians -- the sundered Ancients -- for years, but the more she learned of them, the less she held contempt for their motives. Of course, she would never allow the Rejoining to happen, nor excuse the actions that led to the deaths of so many innocent people. But she could empathize, at the very least. Especially seeing how beautiful and idyllic Elips was.
Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t even realize Hythlodaeus and Venat had decided to go off one way, leaving her and Hades behind to... stand awkwardly in tense silence.
Shite, damn it-- It was like she was a newly-joined Scion again, feeling inconvenient and out of place. She hated it. If she could just think of something to say to break the silence, she could get over it probably. Of course, she couldn’t think of anything, so she’d just have to force something out --
“M’not -- if ... “ Fuck! Come on, words! She took a breath and tried again, “I understand why you’d not want t’hear of where I’ve come from. But I hope -- maybe me sayin’ all that shite will change it. For you. For all of you. And that we can get to the bottom o’ whatever this is...”
