i didn’t read anything that was significantly longer than the rest of the bunch, so i had to check my storygraph, but it looks like BETTY by tiffany mcdaniel was the winner at 480 pages. i did love it, but it’s definitely an extremely tough, unsettling read. one of these days i’ll finally read THE GOLDFINCH, which i bought a physical copy of at powells in portland 10 years ago and still haven’t cracked bc it’s such a behemoth, and then that will be the clear winner
cw for the inherent consent issues with the trope of waking up in your future self and others don’t know that you’re not That Future Self, lol
Max goes to sleep a race winner – a fucking race winner in his first drive for Red Bull – and wakes up in a strange bed, a chilly room. It’s dark; he can only just make out vague shapes that cohere into objects as he blinks at them. A dresser. A laundry basket. A cracked door.
“Why is it so cold in here?” he says. A shiver of unrecognition passes through him: his voice sounds weird, too deep and gravelly, and when he sits up the sudden physical awareness of his body makes him realize that he’s put on a lot more muscle.
Dad will be happy about that, he thinks inanely – then nearly falls out of bed when someone shifts and snores beside him.
It’s Daniel.
Max’s stomach lurches; his dick goes half-hard near instantly. He – okay, so, weird fucking dream then. The texture of it doesn’t feel like a dream, but it must be, because he’s had similar ones before, him and Daniel–
Daniel’s hand curls around Max’s wrist and tugs. Max feels his whole self reorient toward that point of contact.
“Come back to bed,” Daniel’s saying, slurring the words through a yawn. He hasn’t opened his eyes. His hairline’s a bit further back than Max is used to, the lines on his face more pronounced, but even still it’s so clearly Daniel. That’s his nose, those are his curls. Max stares, greedy. “Why are you up, it’s too early, Max, I can sense it. I have an amazing capacity for circadian rhythm.”
“I do not think it works like that,” Max says, and then, because it’s the one thing he keeps focusing on: “Why is it so cold?”
Daniel snorts; his fingers are still a loose circle around Max’s wrist. “That’s how you like it, Maxy.” Then he lets go of him and rolls back over and starts snoring again.
Max lies back down, feeling that he might as well. His heart is beating high and fast; he knows he won’t be able to sleep. Maybe – he fumbles around his side of the bed for a phone or something, then finally sees it on the nightstand. When he picks it up, there’s no home button, but it unlocks anyway.
The date says November, which is – Max knows that’s not correct. It’s May. It’s May and he is in Spain and he is a race winner. He types ‘Calendar’ into the search bar and opens the app. The app shows him November 2027.
Max sets the phone back down on the nightstand and lies in the bed with his hands folded over his sternum. Very strange dream, then. He’s still hard. Daniel is a warm weight in the bed next to him. Max reaches down and starts touching himself. It’s not going to take very long, he can tell. Daniel less than a foot away, breathing and making Daniel noises — Max bites off a moan as he spills into his hand. He wipes it off on the inside of his boxers, panting.
He thought he was quiet enough but Daniel stirs again and rolls back over toward him. “Jeeeeesus,” he says, voice low and rough, drawing it out. “Jesus, Max. That's why you’re awake? Are you–?” His hand reaches down between them and he touches Max through his boxers, making Max jolt and swear. “God damn, baby. You needed it that bad, you should’ve told me. I love when you’re like this.”
When he’s — Max shuts his eyes and nods. Daniel’s hand slides under the waistband of the boxers; he touches Max. Max is going to come again, too soon, if he does that for very long. As if he knows, Daniel takes his hand out again and then — and then he brings it up to Max’s mouth.
“Clean it up, sweetheart,” Daniel says. Max’s face burns as he licks his own come from Daniel’s fingers. “Good.” He yawns against Max’s shoulder and rubs his face there.
Max breathes in, breathes out. He wants. “Do you,” he starts.
Daniel must understand because he pats Max’s chest and says through another yawn, “You can get me in the morning, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Max says, his mouth dry.
He doesn’t touch himself again, just lies there thinking about shit like having his win taken away from him until he’s not turned on anymore. Then he closes his eyes and finds his way back to sleep, unsure whether he wants to wake up here again or back to normal.
veryspecificfantasies, first of all i cant believe we're mutuals! Second of all, I love your writing, which is both funny and smart, and also invariably so hot that I have to fan myself. I love the way you care about things, be it blorbos, kids you're teaching, or lizards in nature!! Truly I'm so happy to be able to consider you a friend!
Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass it to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖
emily thank you so much for sending this, as we all know there's very little i love more than talking about myself. these are just listed in the order i wrote them let’s gooooooo
and i'm just a dead man walkin tonight (hockey rpf, gabe/tyson) | this is a hockey x queer eye crossover that i wrote for a fic exchange and i do think in terms of like, humor fics it's one of the best things i've ever written. my characterization of jvn is one of my top writing accomplishments. it makes me laugh every single time i re-read it.
the light through the windowpane (hockey rpf, gabe/tyson) | this is one of the most ambitious things i've ever written - definitely the most ambitious at the time i posted it - and i'm still so proud of it. it was a risk and i know there were people who didn't like it, but i love the story i told here.
make it back home by monday morning (nba rpf, russ/kd) | this is a fic where the finished product ended up being better than the original idea/how i imagined it when i was first conceptualizing the idea. it's very clean: i said a lot with not very many words. i also think it delivers the payoff of amnesia trope (the person remembering everything all at once) without being too unrealistic about it. it has a disproportionate number of scenes that are like the top 10 scenes i've ever written (paul george and russ showing up at kevin's house! the dog park with klay! the all-star game bits!), and i think it's got some of my best prose, especially these two lines:
“I was in love with you,” Kevin gets out. “Still am.” There it is. He feels like his heart is splattered on the walls. The world is still turning.
He feels like he’s standing on a battlefield, and he’s gathering up the scattered pieces of his body and his broken brain and his heart and holding them out to Russ.
took a hard left, but we're all right (kpop rpf, stray kids, chan/felix) | what i love about this fic is that it is exactly the story i envisioned and wanted to tell right from the very beginning. more often than not i find that an idea morphs into something else, or i lose some of the minutiae as i'm writing, or whatever, but everything made it into the original story exactly how i wanted it to from day 1. i still play in this universe on an almost daily basis because i love it so much, it is about grief and resiliency and love in multiple forms and what you do when you realize that somewhere along the line, the things you thought you couldn't live without are actually surprisingly easy to move on from, and you have to reckon with that. i also think it has the best sex scene i've ever written.
tell me if you love me or not (gabe/tyson) and the monsters turned out to be just trees (chan/felix) | i'm cheating and listing two for the last one, but i'm putting them on here for the same reason so i think it's reasonable. both of these fics are the first fic i wrote for the specific fandom and pairing, and i think in both cases i did such a good job nailing the characterizations and group dynamics and general vibe, and i just really like them both.
what's ur fave thing abt the place you live what sea creature would you most like to be for a day (ur survival is guaranteed) what's your favorite tree in the world
my fave thing about the place i live is how close by the sea it is!!!!!!!!! I can just take a five minute stroll down to the harbor, and if I go a little further, there's this lovely cliffside where you can sit and watch the sunset over the water!
I would actually genuinely love to be a jellyfish.............just float around.....................absorbing nutrients as I go............. dream existence. but also maybe an orca, so i can play around and have fun in the water!! I do that without being an orca though
my favorite tree in the world, A PERFECT QUESTION. it's the white willow, which I'm now learning is native to Europe and Asia (the direct translation from swedish would be silver willow, where the word for willow actually doubles as the word for arrow, and this is a real freak coincidence re: my knight au and that one clan lmao)
Anyway, the white willow usually grows near water, and "[t]he leaves are paler than most other willows, due to a covering of very fine, silky white hairs, in particular on the underside" so they have this lovely silvery white sheen when the boughs ripple in the wind!!!
There's so many but I think Seb and lewis in the art museum in transmotion....I think writing a compelling early date between two people who like but don't know each other is so much harder than it seems and it's just so wonderful and vivid and feels like a date I want to go on!!! It really shows that transmotion is going to be a fic about adults who at the core really enjoy each other and I think that's so special. Also the fight about Seb not introducing lewis to his parents, and lewis listening to music by himself and forgiving him but still needing that time -- your characters are given such nuance and compassion and it's inspiring!!
oh thank you!! the fight about seb not introducing lewis to his parents might have been the last thing I wrote for ch5 other than the very final section... I struggled with it so much lol I needed it to strike such a particular tone and like, convey very real annoyance/anger/hurt on lewis's part that IS justified (ie isn't just functionally a misunderstanding like the amsterdam fight in ch4 where nobody is truly ultimately in the wrong) but also isn't going to blow up into something huge that can't be moved past. this relationship is a place with enough room and love and trust that they can both fuck up and know things will be okay. this is something lewis has never had before, and seb has never had with a man, so it's sort of novel and nerve-wracking for them both.
100% lewis riding seb while draped in the blanket in winterblot. i love the whole atmosphere of that fic and that image SO much it's so vivid and warm and sensory and loving and sexy and fantastic!!!
Bestie!!! Thank you so much, I'm very happy that image and the atmosphere of that fic stands out to you ♥️♥️♥️
