#vf hunk

[gamergirl-lumine]

Larmina: AAAAAAAAAH!

Hunk: Gah, what?!

Larmina: I’m dying.

Hunk: What!?

Larmina: My organs are crushing themselves… it’s falling out of me… help…

Hunk: Oh my lions, MEDBAY!

-

Lance: You have your period.

Larmina: My what?

Allura: Oh for the love of- did we spend so much time on teaching you about combat that we forgot basic woman’s health?

Larmina: It feels like you must have!

Lance: Well, settle in for the next… hmm… almost fifty years of your life. This is monthly. And, yes, it will always hurt like this.

Hunk: It really shouldn’t.

Allura: Pipe down.

Hunk: You mean that it just… feels like your organs are being juiced… and you live like that?

Lance: Once a month- sometimes twice -yes.

Hunk: Fuck. Women are badass.

Lance: *ahem*

Hunk: And Trans Men.

Lance: Thank you, but I was genuinely just coughing.

Hunk: Oh.

[gamergirl-lumine]

Lance: Did I eat yet today?

Keith: Shouldn’t you know that?

Lance: I remember eating. I don’t remember when it was, but I know I’ve done it. So it was probably today.

Keith: Great?

-

Hunk: Remind me again how you wound up fainting from hunger?

Lance: I thought I ate.

Lance: I hadn’t eaten for a week.

Lance: Mistakes were made.

Hunk: I’m tracking your food intake.

Lance: I’d appreciate that.

[gamergirl-lumine]

Hunk: Killed Lotor, problems solved!

Keith: How?!

Hunk: I had a rock.

Hunk: I threw it at him.

Hunk: Hard.

Hunk: Problem solved.

[gamergirl-lumine]

Hunk: Lemons are weird.

Lance: They’re not that weird.

Hunk: I’m the yellow pilot, I would know.

Lance: What.

Hunk: Yellow Pilot. Lemons are yellow. Therefore, I’m the expert. I’m the expert on all yellow stuff.

Lance: Huh.

-

Lance: Hey, Keith, remember when you said that if I became an expert in dynamite, I could have some?

Keith: I was being sarcastic, but yes.

Lance: Dynamite is red, right?

Keith: Sometimes.

Lance: I’m an expert: can I have some?

[gamergirl-lumine]

Lance: That was yummy.

Hunk: Nope. You only ate half.

Lance: I’m not hungry for more.

Hunk: You eat like a bird, Lance, it’s not sustainable!

Lance: …I am a bird.

Hunk: Heh?

Lance: I’m. Part. Bird.

Hunk: It’s an expression, Lance. Even if you were a bird, they’d still eat more than you. Look at you, all skin and bones, and muscles. Not a bit of fat on you. Just eat a little more.

Lance: I thought I was supposed to be criticised the other way.

Hunk: Here. Stew. Eat up.

Lance: Keeeeith! Hunk is bullying me!

Keith: Hunk. No.

Hunk: But he’s-

Keith: He won’t eat it.

Hunk: He’ll be so tiny and-

Keith: Leave it.

Lance: Yay.

Keith: No, not yay. Eat your dinner, Lance.

Lance: Aw, man.

[gamergirl-lumine]

Lance: I know you’re mad-

Allura: Putting it mildly!

Lance: -It’s not as bad as you think, though.

Allura: My castle is on fire.

Lance: Yes.

Lance: You won’t need to worry about heating costs for a while?

Allura: *hits him with a frying pan*

Pidge: Where were you keeping that?

Allura: Just call the fire brigade.

Pidge: We have Hunk making siren noises, and a garden hose.

Hunk. Weee wooo weee woooo!

Pidge: The fire department is also on fire.

Allura: I’m hitting him again.

Pidge: Fair.

[gamergirl-lumine]

Hunk, knocking on Keith’s door: KEEEEITH! LOTOR! HE’S BEING EVIL! C’MON, WE GOTTA GO!

Keith: IN A MINUTE!

Hunk: C’mon!

Keith: Come back later! We- I need a minute here.

Hunk: Who’s we?

Lance: Oh, for fuck’s sake! HUNK! GO! AWAY!

Hunk: …

Hunk: I’m just gonna ask Lotor to be evil later…

-

Lotor: Why in the world would I wait?

Hunk: You don’t wanna know…

Lotor: You’ve gone pale. Why?

Hunk: I know things, man. Things I can’t unknow…

[gamergirl-lumine]

Lance: Bisexual!

Lance: Because why settle for one gender…

Lance: …When you can be left equally heartbroken by both of your best friends!

Pidge: …Do you need to talk?

Lance: I need to drink.

Hunk: I’m not sure that’s a healthy outlet for your emotions, bro.

Lance: I didn’t say it was. Just that I’m doing it.