LOVE&HATE VICIOUS MAY 1999
FROM A SHY SPEECHLESS BOY TO TODAY'S MOODMAKER DIE, WHAT MADE HIM CHANGE? IT SEEMS HE NOW ADMIRES PEOPLE WITH A COOL AURA
-Die what is your type in girls? and what type of girl do you not like?
if we're talking about personality, I think I like girls who are themselves, and I'm more interested when I talk to them and they're a bit strange. if I were to say it rougher I like girls who are kinda stupid (laughs) when they're not normal I'm more interested. it makes you want to know more about them right?
- I see, it makes it more intriguing. then on the other hand what girls do u not like?
someone who is strong-willed and people who lie. well, when I mean lie I mean lying about their relationships with other guys
- why do u not like strong-willed girls?
it's because I'm faint of heart (laughs), but that's also why girls who cry easily, or are just weak/delicate are also no good, I prefer feminine girls, girls who are boyish on the outside are fine too, but on the inside are feminine. but I easily fall in love.
- eh, really? like if they do something small you're easily charmed?
head yea exactly. but I can't pull the people that I'm into at all (laughs), I'm not purely talking about looks but that femininity or cuteness that person holds, that's what makes me interested. I don't really have a type, ah but, I'm not really into pretty model-type girls. I have this image that they're out of my reach. back in middle school, I was really quiet and there was this girl that stood out in my class and I wasn't able to get close to her. She felt special, she was like a flower on a high peak. you could say in my head I was constantly trying to get that flower.
-ehh~ you were a really shy middle schooler then.
I had always been since elementary, when I would talk to girls I would get butterflies. I was silent (illegible) and the type who wasn't able to raise my hand in class, so talking to a girl was unthinkable. in middle school, I sat next to a girl and she/I (not too sure sorry) said "Oh they finally laughed" It was rather simple (laughs)
- was that the same with the boys in your class?
yea pretty much. on the day of our entrance ceremony I wasn't the type to be the first to talk to other people I was simply too shy, so I waited to be talked to.
- so when were you able to talk to girls?
I think around when I entered high school. I was in English (illegible), and there were 10 guys and 30 girls. In those 3 years (illegible) when I looked forward or back it was all girls (laughs). but because of that I learned how to talk to girls, but even then I would still get butterflies.
- but you were still able to talk in front of a girl you liked right?
well, that's true but because of my shy personality it was rough. we went out for a month and she was a good person. I get nervous, it's pretty easy to talk with a girl who I'm not romantically interested in but once it's a girl who I like...
- so then even with the girl who you dated you didn't confess to her?
I was able to, still being nervous, but now when I think about it, it was like I fell in love with the feeling of being in love to put it in a cool way I admired the thought of it. which meant even when it was just us two we/I wouldn't talk, and when we would I would always be thinking "Ah- what are you saying!" or "I'm not funny at all~" and thought that it was all over and go home all depressed.
- for the 3 years you were in high school was it always like that?
yeah, ah, but in my third year, there was this girl I dated who was a super big fan of Yoshiki and she would always talk about how much she thought he was cool and I'd just respond like "ah~ yeah"(laughs). back then it wasn't like I was devoting my life to being in a band, so Yoshiki was a person in a completely different world to me. and then years pass and now I'm doing work with him. if that girl knew that now I wonder if she regrets, or something like that (laughs)
- she probably would a lot
yeah probably, I mean I/she (not sure) was the one who ended things *sorry unreadable once again*
- is that so?! I can't believe it.
no, but I was not that dependent because even I hated my personality, I was negative, it was even written on my school report card, "It'd be nice if he talked more positively".after all with girls, its better if you can have fun just by being together. like we're going out but I barely even talk. That's why I was jealous when a normal girl ended up with a confident boisterous guy
- I can't think of you as anything but the guy you've just described
right? Being able to be part of a band has changed me. I've met a lot of people and my opposition to speaking has gone. but I kind of still don't like myself now. it seems like I talk too much now.
- I don't think that's the case
well, it's still fun, but there are times that I want to pretend that I'm a quiet person. or pretend to have a cool character, the type of person with that atmosphere can say a few words and make it sound deep.
- but Die you have a personality that attracts others, so I think that's impossible. you wouldn't be able to take it and eventually start talking (laughs)
yeah probably, if I just met u and I wasn't able to speak I wouldn't feel satisfied(laughs)
- hahaha you'd be a completely different person (laughs). in that way aren't you happy that you're in a band now?
yea, and the fact that a became able to drink alcohol. like at parties when you get drunk you're able to freely speak right? I think that situation rubbed off on me
- and now you're better with girls
yeah, I've overcome it (laughs)
- I'm glad, then to the Die now, is love something that's important to you?
I think it I important, I think there's a lot to learn, things you learn from dating and things you learn from breaking up. it's just that I'm not the type to get obsessed with it. it's the band over girls. It's also business too, and because being in a band was my dream, the band is the most important to me.
- so you're a person who doesn't fully understand people who think love is the most important
yes. that's why if I was ever to go out with someone we would need to influence each other. I would of course take time to spend time with them but when I say im free/ on a break it isn't something definite. so a person who misses me a lot and wants to be together all the time is definitely out of the question. I want someone whos able to understand that the band is important to me, someone that will be relieved even after not meeting or seeing each other for a while, a bright person. deciding to go ahead with the band is my duty.