Anxiety Post 1#
My doctor told me writing out my thoughts and keep an anxiety journal would help me through the process of getting over my anxiety so might as well put this to good use on Tumblr right?
So it's been a good few days since I've had an anxiety attack but suddenly today just now I have another one ... I hate getting them and the worst part is I WANT and NEED to talk to someone about it but when I do they don't seem to care or understand that I can't control these feelings or thoughts that go on in my head. Sitting there and not being to explain why it is I am hysterical sends me into more stress. When I get these anxiety attacks I feel like my whole entire world is emotionally and physically crumbling away. I feel as though as I have no purpose at all on this earth, I feel like no one cares or even notices me. I feel like everyone tolerates my existence. I feel like if I were to ever leave no one would care or notice. I feel like I can always be easily replaced. I know this isn't true, but something in my head keeps telling me over and over again no one cares about me. The more I think about it the more I start to believe it is true that absolutely no one on this earth cares about me. During these anxiety attacks all I want is just to know my best friends care and will let me lean on them during the hard times. But even sometimes I feel like they don't care or even notice. I feel like I have almost no one to count on. I feel like at time the only person the one person I can count on is my ex and he's the one that fucked me up emotionally. That's saying something when the one who hurted you the most if the one who is there for you the most. To be honest I don't even know if this made any sense at all. I'm delusional and just need to calm myself some how and get this out of my system instead of breaking down.