What stuck with me from reading Villain initialization is how well it shows this bitter feeling of seeing your parents change.
As a middle child I've been both at the end of "our father is way too latiennt with you, he used to be so much strict" And also seeing said father change and grow and treat my younger sibling better than he treated me. And I've seen it in others. This regret and anger and "why not me? Why you want to become a father now and not 10 years ago?"
And I can see it when older Ye Mu is in our timeline. How he tries to push his younger version to abide by their father standards. And how bittersweet it is to see someone younger finally getting that validation you've been denied your whole life. "Why not me?" And being tasked with carrying a loving message from their father to a younger version of himself? He finally heard what he wished to hear. But also he didn't because it wasn't for him.
And there's more, there's this "my father needed to hear from someone outside of our family that he was harming me to finally notice. Even after I begged and pleaded it wasn't enough for him to care.." which the older Ye Mu doesn't know. No, this one is a thing that the younger version of him will carry. Just like older siblings can just brush away the pain of those who get the 'better version' of their parents.
Or how when their father is absent the older Ye Mu tries to install the same rules he had been tough. Without any thought about their sense if reason he followed them. This sunk cost fallacy that haunts the whole story is also right here "I've suffered so much because of those rules so they have to make sense. And you also have to suffer for them to make sense."
The older Ye Mu blames his younger self for wanting Ling Chen to stay, for not being a "real hero". But it feels so much like a child screaming "why not me?" Not seeing how much the other has sacrificed to get where they are. Just like my siblings don't or how I won't know how much my younger sister does
And all we can do is let them enjoy this slightly less shitty version of our parents. Because it's not their fault and they have suffered their own wounds. Maybe after seeing their mothers message Ye Mu will try to see his younger self as a brother that can use help and guidance. Instead of just someone who got love instead of him
