#vincent 2023

[timaeusterrored]

Vincent, looking at Johnny: This man has the absolute worst personality I have ever encountered. He’s rude, he’s narcissistic, he can’t read, would I like to hang out with him? No.

Vincent: would I sleep with him? Absolutely.

[lucius-the-literary-lunatic]

Vince and Johnny absolutely sprinting into the apartment

Kerry: ..... what happened? you were gone for two sec-

Vince: No one died!

Kerry: ...... WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

[timaeusterrored]

Incoherent SCREAMING ITS VINCENT AND KERRY

MY BABY BOY

MY LOVE

UGH they are perfect

@arczism MY LOVE DREW THEM FOR ME AND IM LOSING MY GODDAMN MARBLES OVER THEM

AND AND AND NIBBLES IN HIS JACKET😭😭😭

[timaeusterrored]

I’m never gonna get tired of making these

———-

Kerry: You’re mine.

Johnny: First of all I’m on probation

Johnny: “I” belong to the state of California

-

Mike: oh my god River’s online what do i do?

Vincent: idk send nudes???

Mike:😏you first

Vincent: TO RIVER YOU IDIOT

Mike: OH-

-

Rogue: hey we could use some backup tonight, can you come to the bar?

Johnny: On My Way!

Johnny: omw*

Johnny: I ain’t that fucking excited trust me

-

Mike: I hate being high why do I hear footsteps

River: Are you walking?

Mike: oh shit.

-

Johnny: how have I impacted your life?

Kerry: you have made it indefinitely more difficult

-

Venus: Pls bring back toxic masculinity cus why’d I show up to a date and he’s wearing the same shirt as me?

Vincent: Who wore it better?

Venus: he ate me up I had to wear my jacket.

-

Mike: Swear to god I got tell a cunt knee sis bro my mind is so powerful

Vincent: you got WHAT

Mike: Tell a cunt knee sis

Vincent: Dude what are you talking about?

Mike: mf where you can move shit with your brain

Vincent: TELEKINESIS?

-

Henry: Top Ten Applebees I’ve Been Arrested In Rated By How Good The Floor Was For Doing The Worm.

-

Johnny: Everytime I’m on a mission with Rogue and she tells me to shush I have the overwhelming urge to start screaming.

-

Vincent: Did you know when you eat a pineapple

Vincent: It eats you back

Judy: Yes.

Mike: moans

Mike: that’s so fuckinh hot.

River: pineapple that vores you?

Vincent: I regret meeting you all.

-

Vik: Vincent was acting very stressed and I asked him what was wrong and he said “I’m very busy today.” I asked what’s going on. He said “kerry and I are going to the store at six.” I said “And?” He looked at me like I was crazy.

Vincent: you don’t understand my day revolves around this now.

Kerry: Dude we don’t have to go exactly at 6…

Vincent: NO.

-

Kerry: Hey my input saw you from across the bar and we hate your vibe. He’s gonna beat the shit out of you.

-

Mike: I’d rather slurp a Jean jacket through a straw than fight Johnny.

Vincent: that sounds oddly specific??? Have you slurped a Jean jacket through a straw- IS THAT WHERE MY JACKET WENT?

Mike: no questions at this time.

-

Vincent: You and your boyfriend are so cute

Kerry: thanks he’s a rescue

Johnny: CAN YOU STOP?

-

Johnny: throw back to when Alt wasn’t answering my texts so I texted her “did you die or something?” ….man.

-

Johnny: beating the stinky allegations

Kerry: I had to pin you down to the bathtub fully clothed

Johnny: I’m squeaky clean yo

-

Vincent: Happy anniversary to us and only us

Mike: Wtf I took the picture give me credit before I report

Vincent: oh so your homophobic now? You’re gonna be homophobic to me on my anniversary? Wait until Judy hears about this.

Mike: BRO

(Picture by @arczism )

[timaeusterrored]

River: Hey so uh. Hypothetically. Does your combat vet boyfriend know how to hide a body?

Vincent: …Why?

Johnny, popping up from behind the bar: I do.

River: Fantastic. Hypothetically are you doing anything after work?

Johnny; Nope.

River; Amazing. Great. Thanks man.

[timaeusterrored]

(Comfort)

((I haven’t written the college au babies in a while))

Vincent couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was Kerry’s snoring or Johnny’s strange stillness at night that had him overthinking. But god he needed to smoke and sit outside for like five minutes.

He had to slide out from between the two, grabbing his bowl and his lighter. But when he turned, Johnny was rubbing his eyes. Fuck.

“Go back to bed, I’m fine.” Vincent whispered as to not wake Kerry… but the man turned, his hair in his face. Well fuck, now they both were awake!

“It’s like four am, the fuck are you doing?” Kerry rubbed his eyes and sat up, pouting by the fact that he was woken up.

“I was gonna go smoke, couldn’t sleep.”

Kerry blinked at him, clearly trying to process what he said before kicking off the blankets and grabbing Vincent’s arm, dragging him into the kitchen. He sat Vincent down at the table and Johnny eventually followed behind, a bit more awake now.

Kerry pulled out the milk and started to search the cabinets until he found what he was looking for. Cinnamon, vanilla extract, and honey. All thanks to Misty by the way. Vincent looked at Johnny for answers, who just watched Kerry with a look of someone who’s seen this before.

About five minutes later, Kerry came back with mugs of warm, sweet milk for the three of them. Johnny took a sip of his and sat back, watching Vincent, who was utterly confused.

“I refuse to believe Mama Welles never made you warm milk when you couldn’t sleep. Thalia used to make it for me when mom was working late and I couldn’t sleep.” Kerry explained, sipping his own drink.

“Thalia never ceases to amaze me.” Vincent smiled, taking a sip of his drink. “Oh my god. Ker this amazing!”

“It’s like… four ingredients it’s not like it’s impossible to make.”

The four drank their warm drinks in silence after until Vincent finally yawned. That had taken him out. Now he was ready for bed… at 4:30 in the morning.

Johnny ended up picking him up, carrying him back to bed. He had started to fall asleep at the table. And it was moment like these that reminded Vince that Johnny did love him, he just had a hard time showing it.

He was sandwiched back between them, warm and safe between his favorite people. Kerry kissed his shoulder and pressed closer to him.

“Night babe.”

Vincent was already asleep by the time Kerry spoke.

[timaeusterrored]

If I have one hater, it’s Kerry with the amount of times I’ve hurt V and Vincent. He’s dragging them away from me telling me to leave them alone.

[timaeusterrored]

I haven’t done one in a while, you know what time it is: college au incorrect quotes

-

Kerry: I just lost my voice sucking dick

Kerry: I wish this was a joke

-

Vincent: I literally left you alone for 5 minutes and when I came back you were blind drunk and propositioning the bartender

Kerry: in my defense, you left me completely unsupervised

-

River: no more being the bigger person Imma start biting people.

-

Vincent: “I’m gay” “I’m straight” Okay I’m Markiplier??? Welcome back to Five Nights At Freddy’s?????

-

Mike: Hey I got an idea

Mike: Since people call cats pussies can we call dogs,, dicks?????

Mike: hey dude that’s a nice… dick ya got there, he’s so tiny.

River: no.

River: ??????

River: never get an idea again.

-

Johnny: don’t say ‘fight me’ unless u wanna have sex with me or u actually wanna catch a right hook

-

Mike: I don’t know how to stop being stupid

Mike: I am NOT asking for assistance on the matter.

-

Mike: Goldilocks was crazy I lover her… imagine breaking into someone’s house and being like. Ummm this chair fucking sucks.

-

Mike: Fuuuuuuuuck me dude. I have a mouse a cookie.

Mike: great. He asked for milk. Unreal.

-

Link: I promise I won’t make a pact with a demon

Jonas: I don’t completely believe you but that’s okay

-

Venus: Mama ain’t raise a bitch & even if she did it’s my brother

-

Link: I just sneezed and my brother texted me “shut up”

-

Vincent: the woman on the subway who yelled NONE OF THIS IS REAL!!!! NONE OF US EXIST!!! And then looked me in the eye and yelled GAY!!!! Did have a few points to make.

-

Johnny: I want you to suck my dick ;)

Vincent: suck your own dick im busy playing Luigi’s mansion

-

Kerry: wait you would take a bullet for me?

Vincent: I’d do anything for you darling

Vincent: except eat a mushroom, those are fuckin nasty

-

Judy: FUCK GET THAT AWAY FROM ME

Vincent: NO IF I HAVE TO SUFFER YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH ME

-

Judy: I feel like a science person

Judy: a sciencer?

Judy: Scientist!

Judy: a scientist

Mike: sciencer

Judy: not my proudest moment.

-

River: cooking together is NOT romantic, MOVE out of my way.

-

Johnny: lol

Johnny: guess what

Rogue: bitch with the way you live I have no fuckin idea