summary: You’ve always secretly pined over Eddie Munson, your best friend, but when you find out he’s dating Chrissy Cunningham, you reach your breaking point. you seek comfort from Gareth, your second best friend. you figure out he’s got a crush, but you don’t know who, you were determined to figure it out though. but he was determined to keep his feelings for you locked away forever. but plans change, right?
too late masterlist - this is the final chap :(
December rolled around the corner faster than expected. You and Gareth had just celebrated your nine months together, and everything was going great. You and Chrissy had begun to grow closer again, but she ended up moving to California for the summer with Jason, he went to stay with family before college, so you hardly saw her. You did call a lot though. She got back about a month ago, and you’d both just been so busy, you’d only managed to catch up once. The only times you had seen Eddie, was when you’d pass each other in the grocery store, or that one time when you had gone to the movies with Gareth and he was just leaving the cinema with Dustin. You hadn’t spoken, just sharing a glance that lasted no longer than a few seconds. Tonight was Christmas eve, and the air was cold and snow was falling. You were cozying up in Gareth's poolroom with him and the boys, just listening to the Bon Jovi record your boyfriend got you for Christmas. It was a peaceful night. You'd just stuffed your faces with a delicious dinner with Lizzie and Scott.
There was a knock at the glass door, and you all turned your heads to see Scott himself, wrapped up in coats and scarfs, shaking in the cold. You quickly jumped up to pull him into the warm room, slamming the door shut behind him.
“Hi, sorry to intrude on your teenage bonding time,” he smiled as he spoke, “but Liz just hopped into the shower and I thought I’d take the opportunity to talk to you… Gareth.”
“Oh god.” Gareth mumbled, lifting himself up from the bean bag, “What have I done now? I promise you, the tap was already broken when I woke up thismo-”
“No, no.” Scott shook his head, “You're not in trouble… the opposite of that, actually.”
“What’s the opposite of being in trouble?”
Scott thought for a moment, “I don’t know.”
Gareth nodded. You walked up next to him, looking at Mr Clark expectantly. He cleared his throat.
“Right… so… Gareth, I don’t ever expect you to call me dad…”
You gasped, a smile spreading over your face as you realised what was coming. Gareth didn't. He raised an eyebrow and scrunched up his face with confusion, “Okay…”
“But.” Scott nodded, burying through his pockets. You wrapped your arms around Gareth's bicep, jumping with excitement, watching with anticipation. Scott smiled, noticing your excitement. The other two boys were smiling too, sending a few ‘ooh’s his way. Gareth was still confused. Scott held out a little blue box, “May I please have your blessing to ask your mother… to marry me?”
Gareth looked up at him wide eyed, “You want to marry my mum?”
You squeezed his arm again.
Scott took a shaky breath, offering the box to Gareth, “If you’ll allow me, yes. I know your opinion is important to her, I just hope I have won you over…” He tipped his head, “it’s not much. A teacher's salary only really pays the bills, but…”
Gareth hesitantly took the box, opening it up slowly. You peered over his shoulder to see a gorgeous gold ring with a diamond in the centre, pearly stones surrounding it to look like the petals on a flower. It was perfect. Gareth stared at the ring, silence lingered in the room. Scott stared at him, wiggling his fingers as he started to worry with Gareth's lack of response.
He looked up, finally, closing the box. Emotionless, he spoke, “Why do you want to marry her?”
“Uh…” Scott glanced over at your confused expression before looking back at your boyfriend, “Because I love her, and she makes me happy. I’d- I’d love to make her happy, and nothing would mean more to me than your blessing.”
Gareth stared at him.
“I want… I want to spend my life with her.”
“What makes you think you're good enough to spend your life with her?” Gareth quirked an eyebrow, and you gave him a dissatisfied look.
“I…” Scott looked to the ground, “I’m-”
“Nah, I’m just messin with ya.” Gareth laughed, handing the ring back to Scott and slapping him on the shoulder, “Course you can marry my mum. I’m surprised we haven’t scared you off yet.”
Scott smiled, “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Gareth smiled, “But I’m never calling you dad.”
“No, of course not.” He shook his head and started for the door.
“Go get her Mr Clark!” You shouted.
“It’s Scott.” He shouted back with a smile.
“No it’s not.” You waved him off.
You turned to Gareth with an excited squeal and hugged him tight.
—————————————————————————
The second knock on the door you got that night was from Chrissy. Jeff let her inside so her teeth would stop chattering in the cold, and you quickly pulled her into a hug, both to warm her up and because you missed her. She handed you a gift, perfectly wrapped with a lavish bow, and you handed her one too.
“Thanks Chris.” You smiled, tearing open the paper. Inside was a new pair of boots, “What the fuck?”
“Wh- do you not like them?”
You lifted up the leather shoe with wide eyes, “I… how much did these cost you?”
“It’s not about the money.”
“But now I feel bad.” You huffed.
She tore open her present to find a mixtape, a bracelet with a cute flower charm, and a pin to stick to her leather jacket. You had been decorating yours over the year with buttons and pins, one of them matched with one on Chrissy's jacket from the last time you had hung out. Little hearts with arrows through them. This pin was a Blondie one. Chrissy liked Blondie a lot, they were the crossover between her beloved pop and your rock. She squealed, pulling you into a hug.
“Thank you!”
You laughed, “You’re kidding right? Thank you!”
She rolled her eyes, “Don’t stress it, babe. I knew you had been eying them off for a while.”
You smiled and hugged her again.
“Look, I can’t stay. Jason’s out the front, we’re heading to my parents for the night. Big Christmas celebrations and were running late. But I’ll see you new years, yes?”
“Yeah.” You smiled, “Come on, I’ll walk you out. Say hi to Carver.”
“Okay.” She helped you pull on your boots and a thick winter coat.
You both waddled out the front to find Jason leaning up against his car, smoking a cigarette. You found that a little strange, a guy of his ‘status’, smoking, funny. She ran right into his arms for warmth.
“Carver.” You nodded at him, keeping a metre or so’s distance.
“L/N.” He nodded, extending his hand out, “Truce?”
You raised your eyebrows for a moment, looking between him and his hand.
He sighed, “Sorry for being a dick back in middle school.” He shrugged, “Sorry for being a dick always, there's no excuse. I’m just sorry.” He sighed.
You wobbled your head, thinking for a moment, “You did bully me.”
He scrunched up his face, “Yeah…” he sighed, “If it makes you feel any better, all that bullying really fucked me over. I didn’t get into college… at all.”
Your mouth gaped open, “Yeah, that does make me feel better, actually.” You laughed.
There was a flash of light, and all three of you turned to see who had pulled up out the front. The lights switched off, and you realised it was Eddie’s van. Shit. Wayne hopped out, bag in hand. He waved at you, “Y/N!” He smiled, “Merry Christmas, just droppin’ off some gifts.”
“Merry Christmas, Wayne.” You smiled back, “I’ll be in in a sec. Boys are out the back.”
He nodded and walked up to the front door. Eddie hooped out of his van, seemingly not having noticed you yet. He leant against the hood, lighting a cigarette. You looked at Chrissy, who was looking at the ground and frowning, Jason's arm getting tighter around her. Eddie took the first puff, looking out at the night sky, brushing off the snow that fell down on his face. Jason cleared his throat. Eddie snapped his head in your direction and the cigarette almost fell from his mouth. You noticed a moment of panic in his eyes before he resumed his calm manor.
He nodded his head once, “Carver… Cunningham…” He looked at you for a moment, “L/N. Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah.” You nodded back.
“Very merry indeed.” Jason smiled at him, “Got any plans, Munson?”
Eddie sighed, “Quiet night with Wayne… heading over to the Hendersons tomorrow.”
You nodded. Jason smiled, rubbing hand up and down Chrissy's arm, “That’s nice. I’m heading over to Chrissy’s for the night. We’ve got a big family celebration tomorrow, don’t we, baby?” He watched Eddie tense.
You couldn’t help but smirk behind your scarf. Jason was a mean girl, and you hated it, but god, right now you loved it. You were inspired, “Sounds lovely. I’m spending the night here, celebrating the morning with Lizzie and her man. Then Garebears comin over to mine for Christmas Dinner.” You grinned, Eddie always used to spend Christmas dinner at your house.
Eddie frowned, “Ah.” he nodded a few times, “Good to see you girls as friends again.”
You both stared at him for a moment, sharing a little look of disbelief. Chrissy raised her eyebrows, “Yeah. Having regretful feelings for a jackass really builds a bond.”
Eddie sniggered, looking away for a moment, “Yeah.”
“Anyway.” Jason broke the tension, “We gotta get going. I got some Cunninghams to suck up too.”
Chrissy giggled, “It was lovely seeing you again. Thank you for my gift.”
“Of course.” You smiled, pulling her in for a hug and giving her a little cheek kiss, “We will have to catch up more in the new year.”
“Absolutely.” She smiled.
“Maybe I can even rope Gareth into a double date some time.” You looked at Jason, “Though, that might take some convincing.”
“Mhm.” He nodded, putting his hand out to shake again, “Can we be civil… for Chris?”
You sighed, slapping your hand into his and giving it a firm shake, “For Chris.”
He smiled and saluted you as he opened the door for his girlfriend. You stood watching as they climbed in and drove off, sending them a little wave as they disappeared down the street. You turned to Eddie and walked up to him, plucking the cigarette from his lips and sticking it between your own.
“Okay then.” He huffed.
“It’s the least you could do, jackass.” You leant back against the hood of his van beside him.
He sighed, looking to the ground, “Sorry.”
“No you’re not.”
He looked at you, “Fine. I’m not. Happy?”
“Mhm.” You nodded half heartedly, refusing to look at him as you took another drag.
“You and Gareth are still together then?”
“Nine months.” You exhaled, tapping the ash off the end of the smoke, “It’s great.”
Eddie nodded, “That’s good then.”
“Yep.” You popped your lips on the ‘P’.
There was silence for a moment, and Eddie turned to you, “I still love you.”
You sighed and dropped the cigarette, stubbing it out with your toe, “Good for you.”
“Can you just-” He interrupted himself with a deep breath, “Please, hear me out?”
You looked at him, “What? What’s there to hear, Eddie?” You rolled your eyes, “You’ve already forced yourself on me, begged me for forgiveness and love… I don’t know what else there is to do.”
He rubbed his brow, “I know I’ve fucked up. I know that now, I do… but I can get better. You can- you can help me-”
“Why would I want to do that when I have a perfectly good boyfriend in there, who loves me unconditionally, and wants nothing but my happiness?” You raised your eyebrows and shook your head, “Unlike you, Eddie, Gareth is actually loveable.”
He closed his eyes, taking that like a stake to the heart, “Please-”
“Merry Christmas.” You scoffed, walking back to the house.
You decided to not tell Gareth, or anyone about that interaction with Eddie tonight. It wasn’t the time. The mood was high and people were happy, and talking of Eddie would just ruin that entirely. You’d stash it away for another time.
—————————————————————————
The third time you got a knock on the door was right around midnight.
You and the boys were all in a pile, lazing on one another. You’d just hotboxed the shit out of Gareth's poolroom, and you were all hazy and warm with bloodshot eyes. You had heard a scream, all sitting up in fear. And about two minutes later, when you were all halfway through pulling your boots on sloppily, the knock came. It was from Lizzie, and she was dressed in pyjamas and socks and nothing else, tears streaming down her face. Gareth slid open the door and she hugged him tight. You saw Scott running out the back door with a coat and scarf and beanie slung over his arm for her.
“What?” You asked, rubbing your eyes, your speech was slow.
“I’m engaged!” She shrieked, jumping up and down like a child on Christmas morning.
“Fuck.” Gareth smiled, his voice just as slow as yours, he hugged her again, “Congratulations, mum.”
She wiped at her tears and came to hug you too, “Ah, look at it.” She pulled back and shoved her hand in yours and Gareth's faces, then in Jeff and Grants, “Isn’t it gorgeous.”
“Hell yeah.” Jeff nodded.
“Totally rad, Missus E.” Grant smiled.
“It’s like… so cool.” Gareth began to laugh.
“Looks like somethin in a movie, Lizz.” You grinned.
“Yeah… like,” Gareth thought for a moment, “like a secret spy gadget, you know?”
You laughed, “Like it shoots lasers.”
You and Gareth started pretending like you had laser shooting rings on and fought. Gareth dramatically fell to the ground.
“Are you high?” Lizzie asked.
“What?” You asked, acting like you had no idea what she was talking about but doing a terrible job at it, “Us… high? Lizzie… we would never.”
“Never.” Jeff added.
Gareth tried to stand up, but stumbled. He fell over and you all started laughing. He pressed his palms to his eyes, “God, I’m so high.”
You all started laughing more. Lizzie glared at her son, and then at you. You pulled a face of embarrassment, and it had her rolling her eyes with a smile, “Okay weirdos. Be responsible.” She grabbed Scotts hand, dragging him for the door, “Don’t come inside. My fiance and I would like the house to ourselves.”
“Ewww.” Gareth poked his tongue out, “Mum, that’s gross. That’s my teacher!”
“Not your teacher anymore.” Scott nodded as he was dragged away.
You giggled and fell down on top of Gareth, “Go Lizzie, I think.”
“Nah.” Gareth shook his head, “Mums can’t have sex.”
“What,” You grinned, “you sayin you wont fuck me once I’ve been knocked up?”
“That’s different.” He shoved your face.
“You guys are so weird.” Jeff fell backwards into Grant’s arms and Grant kissed his neck…
Oh yeah. That was something else that had happened in the past few months. Jeff and Grant had come out to you guys, saying they had been dating for like… a year. You were just confused as to how you had gone so long without noticing.
“You guys are weird.” You poked your tongue out at them.
“Nahahh. You are.” Grant added.
“You are.” Gareth chimed in, crawling over to them to tackle.
You all ended up in a pile, wrestling each other and calling eachother names and laughing, all high out of your goddamned minds. By the time you got really tired, you were laying splayed out like a starfish on the pullout, and Gareth was entirely on top of you, acting as your blanket because his weighted blanket wasn’t heavy enough. Jeff and Grant were cuddled up, already falling asleep on the mattress on the floor.
Gareth nudged his nose past your ear so he could kiss your cheek, right by the corner of your lips, “I love you, darling. Merry Christmas.”
“I love you too, Garebear.”
“I can’t wait for tomorrow morning. I got you-”
“Guys. Can we not do this again, please?” Grant whined.
“Fuck off.” You muttered.
“You fuck off.” Jeff quipped back.
“We get it, you're in love, yadda yadda. So are we, we're not being sappy.”
“Be sappy then.” Gareth wrapped his arms around you tighter, “I wanna tell my girl I love her.”
You giggled, “I wanna hear him say it.”
“Jesus.” Grant rolled his eyes.
“Please, save it for tomorrow.” Jeff huffed with a smile, “It’s too late.”
summary: You’ve always secretly pined over Eddie Munson, your best friend, but when you find out he’s dating Chrissy Cunningham, you reach your breaking point. you seek comfort from Gareth, your second best friend. you figure out he’s got a crush, but you don’t know who, you were determined to figure it out though. but he was determined to keep his feelings for you locked away forever. but plans change, right?
too late masterlist - find next chapter there :)
Wednesday afternoon rolled around. You were walking side by side with Chrissy, on your way to her house. You had never been before, it was safe to say you were nervous. You decided not to tell her too much about yesterday's experience with Gareth, you thought it would be too personal to share. Though, you did tell her some things.
“And then I took my shirt off and he took off his.” You smiled, walking sideways to face her, “It was really nice… and comfortable.”
“Go Y/N!” She cheered, grabbing your hand and swinging it between you in excitement.
“And, this Friday we're gonna take another step. I don’t know what yet, but we decided just to let it happen naturally, you know?”
“That's a good idea, you sure you're okay with it being so soon?”
You nodded, “Yeah, actually. Well, I’m a little nervous, but I think it’s just first time nerves, you know?” you sighed, a soft smile resting naturally on your lips, “I feel really comfortable with him.”
“That’s good.” She squeezed your hand, “Though, just because you set a date to do stuff, doesn’t mean you actually have to do it if it ends up feeling wrong.”
You nodded, “Yeah… I know.”
“Good.” She grinned, pulling out the keys to her front door, “Now, how much money you got? Can we splurge on a couple sets?”
You blushed, “I have a fair bit saved up… never had to spend any on weed before.”
She giggled, “Benefits of a drug dealer best friend.”
“Not any more I suppose.” you shrugged, your demeanour dropping, “But anyway, I think I can buy a couple.”
“Mum will drive us there in ten.”
—————————————————————————
“Okay,” You sighed, looking at yourself in the wonky mirror of your small, brightly lit changing room, “it’s on.”
“Can I see?” She called from the other side of the curtain.
You tipped your head, sliding your hand over the fabric of the panties you were trying on, “Yeah, come in.”
She smiled and dipped inside the curtain, careful not to open it too much and expose you to the entire dressing room. She looked over your shoulder at your reflection and smiled. You turned back to her, a little unsure of yourself. She grabbed your bra strap, adjusting it to give you a little more lift, and then the other one, making sure they were even.
“It looks great.”
“You sure?” you bit your lip.
“Absolutely, he’s gonna flip his shit.”
You laughed, “Maybe…”
“Come on.” She shook her head, “Not only are you standing here in a really sexy set of underwear, it’s in his favourite colour. He’s gonna lose it.”
You swallowed tracing your finger over the loose lace on the underside of your bra. It was emerald green, the cups were a see through mesh, decorated with floral lace pattern for some coverage, but if you looked close enough you could faintly see your nipples under. It was quite low cut, and pushed your breasts up a lot. It did look quite nice, though, you were a little unsure, nerves flying. You weren't just buying a set of underwear, you were buying it for him, and you wanted to make sure it was right. The panties matched, the waistline on the hip was just a strap, just about as thick as your bra straps, the fabric covering your ass and cunt was a mesh like the bra cups, the extra lace only covering your most private areas.
“Did you wanna try on the garter belt?” she held up the flimsy piece of fabric.
“Isn’t that a little advanced for a virgin?” you quirked your eyebrow.
“Well, you don’t have to wear it the first time,” She shrugged with a smile, “but when you get a bit more… into it.”
Your face blushed red, “I mean… okay?”
You stepped into the belt, and fixed it to sit just above your belly button. It had two thigh garters already attached, and you wiggled them around till they sat right.
“What do you think?”
‘Yes.” She nodded, “If you think you like it, one hundred percent, yes.”
You looked at yourself, tugging at the lace a little, “How much is it?”
“Uh, the whole set will cost you eighty dollars.” she smoothed the tag on your back.
“Shit.” you thought for a moment, “Okay, why not? Save it for a rainy day?”
“Exactly.” she smiled, “You still want to get the black one too?”
You looked at the black lacy set you had previously tried on, this one was more like a bralette, and the panties were a lacy g-string. You quickly checked the tags, “Yeah, I’ve got enough money for it.”
“Yay.” She clapped her hands together, giving you some privacy to change back into your own clothes.
After changing, you collected your belongings, clutching the underwear tightly in your hand. You rubbed your thumb over the green lace and smiled. Chrissy was right, you knew that, he was gonna lose it seeing you in that. And holy fuck did the thought get you wet.
—————————————————————————
Once arriving back home, you dropped the bag down on your dresser. You were sitting in your bed, already dressed in your pyjamas, comfy little shorts and the shirt you stole from Gareth. You were lying on your stomach, sketch pad in front of you, your Corroded Coffin mix playing, your pen mindlessly drawing a picture of Gareth. There was a soft knock on your door, and your mother called out your name. You didn’t look up, continuing to draw as you replied,
“Come in, I’m decent.”
“You have some guests.” She smiled as she pushed open the door, walking back to the kitchen to continue the dinner prep.
You looked back over your shoulder to find the boys… all of them standing in your doorway. You took a second to process Eddie's unexpected appearance before smiling wide. You grabbed your pillow, sitting it over your sketchbook to save yourself the embarrassment and you sat up.
“Come in,” you waved your hand, “what brings you to my humble abode, kind sirs?”
They shuffled into your room awkwardly, Gareth shutting the door behind him. They stole a few unsure glaces at each other, mouthing things, some form of communication you couldn’t quite grasp. You furrowed your eyebrows.
“Ah, hello?” you cleared your throat, “Look, I’m glad to see you lot, but I was kind of chilling out. And I swear if you're here to have a deep heart to heart where I will inevitably cry, can we please postpone? I’m in a good mood.”
“We're not.” Eddie spoke quickly, his gaze falling desperately on your eyes.
You looked at him for a moment, your heart dropping a little, he looked like shit. His skin was paler than usual, his hair was a tatted mess, there were massive bags under his eyes and they were slightly red.
“Eddie.” you whispered, “You okay?”
He forced a smile, “I am now.”
Your eyes fell to the ground, and then to Gareth. He looked discouraged, fighting between crying and clawing Eddie’s eye’s out.
“Well don’t get too comfortable.” you were quick to hide your emotions away, he couldn’t know how much you were hurting, “Why are you here?”
Your change in tone cut him deep. Gareth wasn’t sure what to feel. Eddie shook his head, chasing his thoughts and feelings away, pulling his hands out from behind his back and presenting you with a small little rectangle, terribly wrapped in old Christmas paper, a pink ribbon tied around it.
“Happy birthday, prin- ah, Y/N.”
You glared at him, “Now you want to appreciate my birthday?”
“I-”
Gareth stepped forward, snatching the gift from his hand and walking over to you, sitting beside you as he dropped it in your hands, “It’s from all of us.”
Your eyes widened, you looked up at him, body erupting with excitement, “The recording studio?”
He smiled and nodded, “Yup, freshly recorded this afternoon.”
“Ah!” you jumped up and raced over to your speaker, ripping the paper off the gift and shoving the tape into the player, “I’m so excited.”
You pressed play, and there was a strong guitar riff to begin with. You looked on the back of the tape case to find the song list, the first song was an old one, one of your favourites, Death Row. It didn’t have any meaning, it was just metal music, but it was fun to listen to, and you could dance to it. You began to bop your head and tap your foot along to the beat. When the drums came in you looked over to Gareth, smiling at him softly.
“It sounds fucking amazing.” you gushed, banging your head a little more now, “Proper quality.”
“It was really cool to record as well.” Jeff chimed in.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, totally awesome.” Grant grinned, “We have to do it again.”
“Next time, invite me to come watch.” You smiled up at them all, “This is so cool.”
—————————————————————————
You were a few songs into the tape now, and you had all settled in comfortably into your room. Jeff and Grant were sitting on your floor in a quiet discussion about whether the bass or guitar sounded better in this particular track, you and Gareth were laying on your bed together, on your stomachs and you were showing him some of your sketches… Well, everyone was comfortable except Eddie. He sat at your dressing table, knees pulled up to his chest as he just stared at you and Gareth.
“No…” you laughed softly, quietly conversing with your boyfriend, “I just do it for fun.”
“You're always telling us we could make some money off the band,” He smiled, “why can’t you make money off these?”
“Because I’m not serious about it, Gar Bear.” you shook your head, flipping the page, “Plus - and I mean you no offence - I just don’t think many people are interested in buying drawings of you.”
He blushed ridiculously, glancing over at you with wide eyes before grinning back down at the page. He drew his finger lightly over the blue curve of his nose.
“This is really good.”
You smiled, “Really pretty, you mean.”
He rolled his eyes playfully, “Fine… it’s really pretty.”
You grinned, your leg wrapping around his mindlessly, “He admits it, I’m shocked.”
“You did me a lot of justice.” he gestured to the page.
“Nuh uh.” you shook your head, “Just drew you super realistically.”
“Hey-” Eddie’s voice made the both of you turn your heads.
He couldn’t bear to look at you with Gareth. With another best friend. He hated the thought of you replacing him with his best friend, or even with his girlfriend. And he hated that, for some reason unbeknownst to him, you were seemingly flirting with the drummer. He hated that a lot.
“Yeah?” you rolled onto your side, back pressing up against Gareth's shoulder to get a better look at him.
“I’m sorry-”
“Eddie, I said I wasn’t in the mood.”
“Can you just let me fucking apologise? Please?” his eyes looked so desperate.
You stared at him for a moment. You knew better than to give him the satisfaction, to give him your time, your energy. After the way he’d been treating you and the band - the way he treated Chrissy - you wanted to hate him with every fibre of your being. But one look at those fucking eyes and he was pulling you back in. He was your best friend, your oldest friend, your closest friend since elementary school. You didn’t want to lose him, even though he was rude, abusive, and a little manipulative. He was still your best friend, the person you loved most in the world, even without the romantic feelings. You couldn’t help yourself, you wanted to hear his apology. You wanted your best friend back.
“Okay.” you breathed out, and he was taken aback, half expecting you to say no and tell him to fuck off.
Gareth looked over at you, jealousy and hurt panged at his heart. He thought you would say no, he thought you would tell Eddie he didn’t deserve that. He knew you deserved better than his shitty best friend. But fuck, the way Eddie looked at you in that moment, the way you looked at him - he trusted you with his whole heart, if you said your feelings for Eddie had dissipated then he would be stupid to argue, but maybe, just maybe Eddie still had feelings for you. He thought those feelings had gone away years ago, when he bumped into Chrissy after Hellfire one night. But maybe he lied. Or maybe those feelings had come back. And maybe yours were coming back too, and the thought of that made his heart shatter. He bit down on his lip, tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he didn’t let them. He hid his face away and just listened, torturing himself all the more.
He swallowed, “I’m- I’m so sorry.”
“Okay.”
“I really can’t lose you, Princess-”
“Eddie, I thought we fucking settled this?”
He gritted his teeth, “I don’t care!” he stood, “I don’t care. I don’t. I’ve always called you that, you are my fucking princess. If I want to call you that, I can!”
You nodded slowly, “So why did you say it to Chrissy?”
He took a small step back, “I- I don’t- I was trying to…” he looked around the room, it felt like the walls were closing in, “I don’t know.”
You sighed, “I felt - feel, replaced, Eddie.” you sat up, “You found a better version of me, one you could kiss, and that got you hard and you moved on.”
“No-”
“No.” you shook your head, “You found someone who wasn’t a freak, and you left me in the dust. All that false conformity crap you preach biting you in the ass.”
“She’s not better than you, I promise.”
“Tread lightly, Eddie. She’s my best friend now, and it you say some fucked up shit I’m gonna tell her.”
He swallowed, taking a second, thinking of what he could say, “She just- she wanted me.”
You sighed, “Yeah, and you have wanted her for years. I don’t understand.”
“I focused on her because she really wanted me.” he shook his head, “She wanted to spend every moment with me, and she- she appreciated me. She still does. And for some reason, she doesnt find me gross and she wants- she kisses me.”
A tear slipped from your eye, “Okay, but that doesn’t mean you leave us-”
“She wants me!” He stepped a little closer, “She wants me, and you don’t. She treats me like I am someone, none of you do that.”
“Excuse me?”
“None of you treat me like she does.”
Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment and you stood up to reach his eyeline, or as much as you could given your height difference, “Where the fuck did you pull that idea from? We have done nothing but love you, Eddie.”
“Bull shit-”
“Bull shit my ass!” you shouted, “Everything I have done since fucking middle school had been in your godforsaken best fucking interest!” you shoved at his chest.
“Bull-”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Gareth was up and standing beside you now, anger seething through him, he pulled you back a little, stepping between you and Eddie, “She has done nothing but love you man, and you constantly just treat her like shit.”
“Maybe recently a bit-”
“Nah man.” Gareth shook his head, “You have always treated her like shit.”
Eddie leant forward, teeth gritted, his face close to Gareths in an attempt to intimidate, “Give me one fucking example.”
But Gareth just shoved him back, “Do you ever notice when she’s sad, unless she's actually crying in front of you or telling you word for word that she’s hurting? Do you ever take an interest in her interests- and not metal, or anything that you're interested in too- do you ever look at her art, do you ever take the time to actually tell her how great she is? How about that time, I think it was three years ago now, when Carver was being a dick to both of you and instead of telling her that ‘no, she’s not getting fat’, you told her to lay off the chocolate shakes.”
Eddie took a step back, only now realising that he’s not the best friend in the world.
“Yeah,” Gareth nodded, “There’s fucking more. Do you remember that party in middle school? The one where we all played spin the bottle? Remember you told me that if I landed on her, I shouldn’t kiss her anyway, because apparently she was a really shit kisser? And remember when she so clearly was into you after you did kiss her, and you just brushed her off and kissed a bunch of other girls right in front of her? And then, when her feelings for you developed, and she constantly flirted with you, you refused to acknowledge her. But still, you told every guy that looked her way that she was yours, and that they weren't allowed to ask her out- heck, I’m not even allowed to compliment her.”
“I’m-” He looked back over Gareth's shoulder at you, “You didn’t-”
“You always called her a slut when she’d dress up nice in hopes of getting another guy to notice her because you never did.” He shook his head, pointing a finger against Eddie’s chest, “And who was there to pick up the fucking peices? Me. Because I know she deserves better than the shit you constantly put her through. Do you remember on her sixteenth birthday, she invited Joel Neils to her party because he had asked her out on a date the week before, and when you found out, you told him to get lost. And when she came crying to you about being dumped out of the blue, you told her it was because she wasn’t good enough for a guy like-”
“Okay,” you grabbed Gareth’s arm, pulling him back, “Gareth, that’s enough.”
“No it’s not.” He pulled out of your grasp, “He deserves to know all the pain he’s caused you over the years-”
“Gare-”
“He deserves to know how much he was hurting you, whilst you continued to call him your best friend, whilst you continued to love him. He deserves to feel worse pain than you did.”
“Gareth, please-”
“He’s right.” Eddie’s voice cracked.
You looked at him longingly, your gaze falling back to Gareth. You had never seen him so angry. He took a breath.
“Jovi, the day you came to me, and told me that you were in love with him, my heart fucking broke.” He turned back to Eddie, “Because I hated that you put her through all that pain and suffering, said all those horrible things to her, and she still loved you. She still put you up on this pedestal and worshiped the fucking ground-”
“Gareth please.” You tugged at his arm again, teary eyed.
He went to turn back to Eddie, to continue scolding him, but the sadness in your eyes had his mind blank. The only thoughts now in his head were to make you comfortable again.
You shook your head, “I don’t want to hear it.”
“It’s true?” Eddie asked, and you both switched your attention to him, “You do… love me?”
You rubbed your forehead, “I love you, as my best friend.” you sighed, “But your making it really, really fucking hard to love you at all, Eddie.”
His heart sank.
You turned to Gareth and leant in to whisper in his ear, “Give me a minute alone with him? I’ll just let him say what he wants to say, sort our own shit out.”
He looked at you, then at Eddie, then at you again, “You want to be alone… with him?” He swallowed the lump in his throat.
“Not like that.” You squeezed his arm softly, “He’s clearly holding back his honesty with you around, I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”
He was hesitant, his eyes glassy, he licked his lips. You brought your hand to his cheek, your cold hand almost stinging his warm skin. You brushed your thumb along his cheekbone, the tip dusting over his bottom lashes. You smiled reassuringly,
“I’ll call you if I need back up.” you booped his nose, “You can be my knight in shining armour.”
He nodded, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. He grabbed Jeff and Grant and led them out of the room, closing the door behind him. You turned back to Eddie.
“Full honesty, right now. You have two minutes. You talk, then I will tell you what I’m feeling. No questions asked, just blatant honesty, please.”
He took a deep breath, preparing himself to speak, “I’m sorry. I am really, really fucking sorry. I know I’ve fucked up everything about us, about my friendships with everyone. But I’m trying to make amends, I really am. I- I still have my hesitations about you and Chrissy being so close. I don’t like it, and that’s a fact. But, I think I can come to terms with it. I tried calling her today, to apologise, but she wasn’t home again. I’m gonna call her tonight, go to her house or something. Properly apologise. I need her just as much as I need you, I realise that now. I’ve said some pretty fucked up shit, I know- but, Y/N-” His breath hitched, “Did I really hurt you like that?”
You shied away, “No questions.”
He swallowed, “Fuck, I did. I did, didn’t I? Fuck. I didn’t even- I didn't know. I was just- I don’t know what I was doing. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, for everything. Please, you mean everything to me, princess. Fucking everything…” He dropped to his knees in front of you, a shaky breath leaving his lips and he wrapped his arms around your legs, pressing his tear stained cheeks into your flesh, “Please, please forgive me. Or at least find it in your heart to move on, give me a second chance? I’ll be better. I will never say that shit again, fuck- I’ll do everything I can to fix this. I’d do anything for you, I swear. I swear on my fucking life. Please. I need you. I need you so much-”
“Eddie stop.” You reached down to pull his face back from your knee, the tears on his cheeks and the purely wrecked look on his face split your heart in two.
“I’m-” He sobbed, “Please.”
You took a few deep breaths, “You're a dick.”
He nodded profusely, “I am, I’m even worse, I know.”
“You're rude, you're manipulative, you're controlling, you're abusive.” you sighed, sweeping a hand through his greasy locks, “You broke my heart.”
“I’m- I’m so sorry-”
“Sorry isn’t going to fix anything.”
You scolded yourself for sympathising with him. You didn’t know why your heart still beat for him. It was purely platonic now, that you knew, that you were sure of. But still, he hurt you more as a friend then he did as a love interest. But the blatant fact remained; you missed your best friend more than fucking anything.
“If you can show me that you mean it, that you really are sorry, and that you're trying to change- to fix yourself…” You swallowed thickly, “then I will forgive you.”
His eyes widened, his jaw hung slack and he looked at you with deep hope and adoration, “Really?”
You hated yourself, “Yes. But you really have to prove yourself.”
“I- I will, I promise.” He hugged your legs so tightly.
You swept your hand through his locks again and looked over at the collection of pictures hanging on your wall. Your eyes fixed on a photo of you and Eddie in your last year of elementary school. You were both happy and smiling, playing in the sand pit together. You missed those simpler times, when none of this shit happened. You looked back down at him.
“Still no princess, please.” You hummed and he peeled away from your legs to look at you, “I don’t like it anymore. It feels- horrible.”
His heart sank, but he nodded, bringing himself to his feet, “Can I please hug you?”
You sighed, “Yeah.”
He pulled you into a tight embrace, and the moment your head pressed up against his chest, all your emotions came flying out. Your lip quivered and you began to cry, hot tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt. You missed this - him. You squeezed him tighter, burying your face deeper into his chest. He cradled your head with his hand, his face pressing down into the crook of your neck, subtly taking in your scent - something he so desperately missed. His other hand gripped around your back tighter, his fingers twisting into your (Gareth's) shirt. You both sobbed there for a while, a good three minutes at least, almost an entire song playing through in the background. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple, something he often did when you needed comfort, or before you went to sleep, or whenever you cuddled. It was a gesture that always made you feel so warm and fuzzy, but now it felt forced, unnatural, wrong even. And whilst it felt safe to be so close to Eddie again, you were definitely right about one thing, Gareth was much more comfortable, both physically and emotionally. You pulled away, taking a small step back and sheepishly wiped your tears. Eddie did the same.
“I really missed you a lot.”
You scoffed, “That’s your own fault.”
You chuckled softly, “I know. I’m an idiot.”
You just nodded and walked over to your door, swinging it open abruptly. Grant and Jeff fell through the doorway into a heap. You looked down at your feet, where their heads rested on the floor and furrowed your eyebrows.
“You seriously fucking easedropped?” You deadpanned them.
“For Gareth’s sake.” Jeff mumbled.
You rolled your eyes and shook your head. You stepped over their bodies and walked down the small hallway till you found Gareth sitting at the dining room table, nursing a mug of tea with your mother. He was slumped on his elbow, a frown on his face, eyebrows knitted together, his lip pouted. Your mum sat with the paper in hand, glasses on, sipping her own tea.
“Hi.” You smiled at him softly.
Gareth looked up at you desperately, a little unsure in his feelings. Your mum lowered her paper and pulled her glasses down slightly to look at you over them. She had a lot of sass in her voice, “You're seriously not still in love with him, are you?”
“No mum.” you groaned.
“Always thought he was trouble. I told you-”
“I get it.”
“You should always listen to me, your mother knows best.”
“Yup.” you nodded, trying to get her to leave.
“What did I say about Eddie? That he was troubled. Was I correct? Yes.” she shook her head, “What did I say about Gareth?”
“Mum!”
He stiffened a little.
“I said he’s a sweet young boy, and a much better match for you.”
You groaned, “I get it. You know everything.”
She pointed a stern finger, “Attitude.”
“Can you please give us some privacy?” you glared at her.
“You still don’t listen to a single thing I say.”
“Mum, I don’t need you interfering in my relationships.” you pressed, “I can decide who I should and shouldn’t like on my own.”
“Clearly you can’t if your going back to Eddie-”
“I’m not going back to Eddie!” you shouted and walked over to snatch her paper away, “I’m perfectly happy with Gareth-”
“You admit it!” She exclaimed, an excited smile on her face.
“You already knew.” you shook your head in disbelief.
“Yeah, but you didn’t admit it.”
“You only ever asked before it happened.” you sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, “Now can you please give me and my boyfriend some privacy?”
She looked at you for a moment, then over at Gareth, and then back at you, shaking her head, “No.” she scoffed, “I know what that means-”
“To talk! Mum.” you groaned, “To talk. Were in the loungeroom for fucks sake.”
“Language.” She pressed and snatched her paper back from you, “Teenagers.” she shook her head and left the room.
You slid down into the chair behind Gareth and pressed your head against his shoulder, letting out an exhausted groan. He swept some hair behind your ear.
“Did you ask them to eavesdrop?” you mumbled.
“No actually,” he laughed softly, “but they insisted.”
“Naturally.” you hummed and lifted your head back up to look at him, “Sorry if I freaked you out.”
He shrugged.
“Really, I’m sorry.” you grabbed his hand, “Promise I’m yours, one hundred present.”
He smiled halfheartedly, he wasn’t sure if he believed it, the idea a forign dream to him, “What did he say?”
“Uhm,” you blew a little air out of your mouth as you thought, “he just apologised a lot, begging for my forgiveness or a second chance. Said he’s gonna fix things with Chris, which he better, because she actually loves him-”
“She’s doomed.” he nodded, and you raised your eyebrows, a coy smile breaking your lips, “All who fall in love with Edward Munson are inevitably doomed for heartbreak.”
You rolled your eyes and shoved his chest gently, “Yeah well, at least I had you to pick up the pieces.”
“And I’ll be there if he does it again.”
You gave him a warm smile, “I’m not gonna let it happen again, but thank you.”
He shrugged, “You can never be sure.”
“I can.” you mindlessly drew little patterns on his arm, “The only one allowed to break my heart from now on is you… and Bon Jovi.”
He laughed, “Yeah, I don’t see that happening anytime soon. I think if anyone's heart gets broken, it’s gonna be mine. Cant see myself wanting anyone else, ever.”
Your mouth fell slightly agape, your heart fluttered, and your eyes practically turned into hearts.
“Fuck- too much?” His cheeks blushed a deep red and he stiffened in his chair, “Sorry.”
You shook your head and swept some hair back from his face ever so sweetly, “No, just enough.”
You leant over to press a soft kiss to his cheek, “Back to the homewrecker in my bedroom-”
He snorted.
You grinned, “I ah..” you bit your lip, a little nervous of how he would react, “I told him if he can prove he’s sorry, and actually tries to fix everything, then I’ll forgive him.”
Gareth scratched the back of his neck, “You- you want to forgive him?”
You shrug, “Maybe.” you sigh deeply, “He’s my best friend.”
He nodded slowly, “If you're sure, but…” he swallowed, “I swear if he does anything to hurt you again-”
“You’ll defend my honour?” You smirked.
He shook his head, “I’ll fucking punch his brains out.”
You tipped your head, shaking it slightly, “You will do nothing of the sort. I don’t intend on visiting a prison an hour away every two weeks just to see you. I’m not jail girlfriend material.”
He laughed, “Okay, I won’t punch him- or I just won’t get caught.”
You rolled your eyes, “Enough of that. Also, thanks for completely outing me to Eddie.”
His eyes buldged, “Oh my fuck-”
“Yeah.” you nodded with a sarcastic smile, “Did me a solid. Now he knows I had a thing for him- a big thing for him. That’s gonna go straight to his head.”
“Oh fuck, what have I done?” He pulled at his cheeks, “He’s gonna be insufferable.”
“Yah huh.” you nodded, “You did that. Remember that.”
He took a deep breath, “So many regrets.”
“Y/N darling?” Your mother called out from the kitchen, “Dinners almost ready, boys have got to go.”
“Okay!” you called back and turned to Gareth, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead as you stood, “Let’s go kick them out.”
He followed you to your room, and you pushed the door open to find Eddie holding up that new green bra. Your face burned red and you flung yourself at him, tackling him down to the ground and snatching it from his grasp.
“What the fuck, Eddie?” you exclaimed, crawling off him and trying to discreetly stuff the damned thing back in the bag.
“Why the fuck do you have that?” He stood.
“Have what?” Gareth asked.
“Time for you all to go!” You opted for a conversation change, walking over to Eddie and pushing him towards your door.
He was stronger, and stepped away from your grasp with ease, turning back to Gareth, “A fancy bra-”
“Eddie!”
“She’s a chick. Of course she has a fancy bra.” Grant added, grabbing his backpack off the ground.
Gareth just stood there a little embarrassed, trying to force away the thought of you in your underwear. He didn’t need an erection right now.
“Not her.” Eddie scoffed, “She gets no action-”
“And whose fault is that?” you pressed, pushing him towards your door again, “Maybe I have benefited from your absence, Munson.”
“Not enough for that.” he pointed to the bag again, “That is quality stuff right there.”
“Chrissy told me to buy it!” You tried to cover your tracks, you didn’t want Gareth to know you were buying things like that for him.
“Ah huh, sure.” Eddie muttered, “Chrissy told you to buy sexy underwear, and a garter-”
You slapped your hand over his mouth, “Can you fucking keep some things to yourself- Christ. I am clearly embarrassed.”
“All the more reason to tease.” He smirked.
Gareth was a flustered mess, hands resting together ‘innocently’ over his crotch, lips pursed.
“Get out. All of you, now!” You shook your head and finally shoved Eddie out your door, “You're on thin ice, Munson. Didn't think you would be going through my shit.”
“I bumped into the table and it fell out- not my fault.” He grinned, “Though I’m not compl-”
You slammed the door in his face, “You have a girlfriend, dick.”
You turned to face the other boys.
“Mum said you all had to go, not just Eddie.” you walked over and hugged Jeff and Grant, “Thank you for the tape. I love it.”
“No problem.” Jeff smiled.
“Our pleasure.” Grant added.
“Now leave the room so I can kiss my boyfriend goodbye.”
They nodded suit and clambered out of the room, finding Eddie in the main space. You turned to Gareth, each of you entirely embarrassed.
“So…”
“Is that why you asked for my favourite colour?” He grinned.
You pressed your palms into your eyes, “Fuck.”
He laughed nervously, “You- you didn’t have to.”
You looked up at him sheepishly, “I know.”
He took a little step closer and poked your shoulder, “You brought underwear in my favourite colour.”
“Shut up.” you groaned and leant down to rest your head against his chest in shame.
He stroked your hair gently, grinning to himself, “You gonna wear it Friday?”
You looked up at him, “Look who’s bold now.” you smirked and he shook his head in embarrassment, “Maybe, might wear the other one. Whatever works best with my outfit.”
He nodded, “Well, whatever you wear, it’s gonna look great.”
You smiled, a new wave of confidence washing over you, “It will.”
He nodded and played with the fabric of your shirt, “Can’t believe you stole my favourite band tee.”
You raised your eyebrows, “I can’t believe you lent me your favourite band tee.”
“Can you blame a guy for making you wear his favourite things just to gain some remote sense of relationship with you?”
You smirked, “I suppose I can’t. I’m gonna steal another one on Friday.”
“Steal them all if you want, I love this look on you.”
You giggled and leant in to give him a soft kiss, “See you tomorrow hot stuff.”
He blushed and kissed your nose, “See you tomorrow, darling.”
—————————————————————————
You got a call from Chrissy last night, it was around ten pm, and she was calling from Eddie’s trailer. She had perched herself up on the counter, legs kicking against it as she told you how Eddie had chased her down and profusely apologised. You told her how he came apologising to you too, but she already knew that, he had told her. She ended up staying the night at his, and you scolded her for running back to him so desperately. She said she couldn’t help herself, she really did love him. They had a proper date planned for Saturday night, a fancy dinner and a surprise Eddie had set up for her. She planned on telling him then. You were a little unsure for her, but she was determined to tell him.
Gareth drove you to school again this morning, these little car rides with him quickly becoming your favourite parts of the day. Eddie hadn’t shown up to school today, and neither did Chrissy. Jeff and Grant assumed he was spacing out on you guys again, but Gareth and you had a little more hope. You tried calling his trailer after the fourth period, just to check on them, but there was no reply. You hoped for two things; one, they had really crazy makeup sex that went for hours and hours and they just slept in, or two, they had just gotten a little lost in their feelings and needed a day to talk it out. There was always a third option of them getting into another heated argument, but you didn’t hope for that one. It was now lunch, and you walked out of your history class and over to your locker. You shoved your things in there quickly, heading to the cafeteria. You were so very hungry. You walked with your head down, a few worries in your mind about Chrissy, and you bumped right into someone. They were walking backwards, turning and running in your direction at full speed without even noticing that you were there. Now, you were in a heap on the floor. You squint your eyes shut with the slight pain caused by the fall, your back hitting the floor harshly, the person falling on top of you. But a familiar smell caught your attention. Your eyes flickered open to find Gareth extremely confused on top of you. You both laughed. He placed his hands on either side of your head, hovering over your, taking his weight off your body now.
“Well hello there.” He grinned.
“Funny bumping into you.” you laughed softly.
He looked around for a moment, there were no students in the hall, other than a few strays with their heads buried in their lockers, a fair distance from you. He looked back down at you, bringing his lips down onto your’s. Your hands rested on his shoulders, your fists balled up the fabric of his shirt and you pulled him in a little closer.
“You know,” He broke the kiss, his lips still hovering right above yours, “if we were to walk past us right now, we would probably gag.”
“Awh,” you booped his nose, “but I like when you're on top of me like this.”
Well that went straight to his dick. You smirked at the blush in his cheeks, the redness in his ears, and the very obvious feeling of him growing hard against your thigh.
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“Absolutely not.” You muttered, “If I killed you, then you’d never be able to take that new set of underwear I bought for you off me.”
His mouth fell slack, he hesitated a moment before jumping to his feet, reaching a hand down to help you up. He held your hand tightly and began to walk down the halls, dragging you along behind him.
“Gar Bear,” You smiled, shuffling forward a little faster to catch up with him, “where are we going?”
He turned to you, walking backwards as he spoke, his other hand finding yours now too, “To my car.”
You raised your eyebrows, “Oh we are, are we?”
He bit his lip and nodded, “You can’t say stuff like that and expect me to just go to lunch like nothing happened, darling.”
You giggled, “You know I’m not gonna actually get you off?”
He smiled, “I know,” He pulled his keys out of his pocket, hastily unlocking his car and opening the backseat, “doesn’t mean you can’t give me something to think about when I’m laying in bed later.”
Your jaw dropped slightly and you climbed into the backseat of his car, “Well if you're gonna think about this when you touch yourself…” you leant up against the door on the opposite side, opening your legs a little and hiking your skirt up just enough, “then you gotta give me something to think about too.”
He swallowed thickly, his pupils dilated, taking all of you in. He sat on his knees, closing the door behind him. He was on top of you in a flash, pulling you down to lay along the bench seat, hovering himself over you much like before. His lips latched onto yours, immediately pulling you into a wet, opened mouth kiss.
“I’ll give you something to think about.” He muttered, his hips grounding down against your core.
You let out a breathy moan, and he started to assault your neck with kisses, sucking and bruising your skin. Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist and you tipped your head back, allowing yourself to make as many lewd noises as you wanted. He grabbed the base of your shirt, pushing it up and over your tits so he could kiss your chest. Your hand sifted through his hair, holding him down between your breasts as he sucked at your soft flesh. He pulled your bra down just a little, your nipple threatening to peak out at any moment. He massaged your breasts over the fabric, but he could feel your heardend nipple through it and it was fucking killing him. He ground against you again, dragging his clothed cock slowly up your cunt, sending desperate shockwaves up your spine.
“Fuck Gareth,” you moaned, “I don’t want to wait till Friday.”
He groaned, his teeth sinking into your breast as he nibbled at the skin.
“Fuck.” you moaned again and thrusted your hips back up against him.
He took a risk, moving his lips from your breasts, down your stomach. He grabbed the hem of your skirt and flipped it up, his eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw that wet patch in your purple cotton panties. You looked at him longingly, nerves flying through your body. You wanted him to touch you so badly, but you still had your hesitations. You were stuck. He slowly leant back down, pressing a delicate kiss to your inner thigh, his face already so close to your heat. He was throbbing like fucking crazy. The look in his eyes was something you hadn’t seen before. It was dark and lust filled, he looked at you so intently, never daring to break eye contact. He kissed your thigh again, this time a little higher. He alternated between kissing each of your thighs, inching his way closer and closer to your cunt. He watched you, taking his time, taking it slow, making sure you were okay with what he was doing. You bit your lip. He pressed a last kiss right beside the hem of your panties, drawing it out, holding himself there for a while longer. He pulled back slightly, settling himself perfectly between your thighs, mouth salivating with a need for you. He could see that wet patch growing out of his peripheral, he could feel the heat radiating off of you, but he didn’t move, not yet. You swallowed thickly, unsure of whether or not you should let him. You licked your lips, your head clouded from all rational thought, body pumping with desire. You nodded slowly, and he smirked. He leant forward, pressing a hard kiss on the wet patch on your panties, right above your hole. You tipped your head back, already feeling an obscene amount of pleasure. He kissed a little higher, and then a little higher again, and then he kissed your clit.
“Oh fuck-” A glutteral moan escaped you, and holy shit were you horny.
“Was that-”
“Yeah, right there.” you nodded, and he kissed you there again, “Fuck…”
“Shit.” He mumbled, “I’m gonna fucking cum in my pant’s in a second.”
You panted and he pressed his thumb right on your clit, applying more and more pressure ever so slowly. You moaned again, and he began to rub a slow circle right where you needed. He leant forward and licked up your clothed cunt, lapping up any taste of you he could from over the fabric, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he did, your hole clenching around nothing pathetically.
“Need more.” you breathed out, “Please.”
“Since you asked so-”
There was a sound of a car door opening so close. You both froze, and Gareth looked up to see some jock climbing into his car right beside you. He quickly pulled your shirt down and hovered his body over the top of you. You both waited in silence for the guy to leave. And sure enough he got out of his car again and headed back to school, seemingly having forgotten something this morning. Gareth smiled and you threw your head back against the door.
“Not at school.” you sighed.
“Not at school.” He agreed.
“Fuck me.” you groaned, sexual frustration radiating through your body, your pussy still aching.
“Planning on it.”
You smiled softly, cupping his face in your hands, “Those ten seconds of you touching me then is definitely better than anything my vibrator has ever done.”
He blushed, and it was adorable. He ducked his head down to your chest, hiding himself away. You loved how embarrassed he could get. I mean, he just had his face between your legs yet he gets all flustered at the mention of your vibrator. Completely adorable. You were definitely gushing to Chrissy about it later.
“You're not free tonight, are you?” you lifted his head.
He shook it, “Nope.”
“Fuck.” you sigh, “Guess we have to wait till tomorrow afterall.”
“Guess so.” He grinned and kissed you so deeply.
“Okay, you gotta stop.” You shoved him away from you with a smile, “You know how turned on I am right now, you're just teasing me at this point.”
He laughed, ears turning red again, “Maybe I like teasing you, darling.”
—————————————————————————
Friday rolled around far too slowly. You were pumped full of nerves and excitement. Today was gonna be the day you could really show Gareth how devoted you are to him. You had no fears, no doubts, only boundless energy. You hopped into his car, the air thick and buzzing with a naturally happy energy. Gareth however, well, he was not feeling the same. No, he was terrified. The constant thought of not being able to please you, of doing something wrong, of scaring you off. He was excited, don’t get me wrong, you were only the girl of his dreams after all. But that's exactly why he was so scared. He had been waiting years for this, the idea of you actually being any sort of physical with him was a perfect dream, a shameful thought, unrealistic. He just wanted it to be as good for you as it was inevitably going to be for him. He was already curating a list of horrible, off putting thoughts that he could think off when he would be on the brink of cumming too fast - if it even got to that, he would probably attempt to avoid that all together today, focus solely on you - like the thought of principle Higgens in nothing but a ballerina's tu-tu, all wrinkly and old and gross, or Eddie.
Speaking of, he didn’t show up at school today either. Chrissy had said some asshole had come and smashed a window on his trailer last night, so he was busy dealing with that today.
“Yeah, we totally had makeup sex.” Chrissy grinned, fixing her makeup in the mirror, “Though, it wasn’t as mindblowing as usual.”
“Oh,” you walked out of the bathroom stall and over to the sink beside her to wash your hands, “well that's shit.”
“Yeah.” she shrugged, “He’s usually pretty kinky, but, it was so vanilla,”
“Too much information.” you grinned, “Do you know why?”
“I think he was just tired.” she smiled softly, “But he’s still acting a little weird.”
“Hmm…” you dried your hands off.
“Yeah, I think part of what he had said last week was true… about me fucking everything up.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, “I highly doubt that-”
“No, I mean…” she wiggled her head, thinking of the best way to word what she was thinking, “like, for him personally. I think he’s very conflicted in his feelings at the moment, and with me being around he doesn’t have the same dynamic with everyone anymore… things are different. And he just doesn’t like how it’s worked out, and he’s blaming me for it because it’s easier than blaming himself. And that only leads to more arguments.”
“That’s…” you nodded slowly, “pretty fuckin’ wize. Shit.”
She shrugged and walked towards the bathroom door, “Yeah, I just hope he figures his shit out, properly, soon.”
“Me too.” you sighed.
You followed her out of the bathroom and through the halls until you bumped into Gareth and the Hellfire boys. You both settled into the group, and Gareth was quick to put an arm around you as he carried on his conversation.
“Is Eddie coming to the party tonight?” Jeff asked Chrissy.
“Well, considering he would do anything to scam free fancy booze off of Harrington, I’d say yes.” She shrugged, “But I don’t know for sure.”
summary: You’ve always secretly pined over Eddie Munson, your best friend, but when you find out he’s dating Chrissy Cunningham, you reach your breaking point. you seek comfort from Gareth, your second best friend. you figure out he’s got a crush, but you don’t know who, you were determined to figure it out though. but he was determined to keep his feelings for you locked away forever. but plans change, right?
too late masterlist - find next chapter there :)
Thursday went by in a rush. You accidentally walked face first into the back of Chrissy when she was bouncing off to class with Carver. You offered her your most sincere apology, and she grabbed your shoulder sweetly and told you it wasn’t a bother. That made you melt. You were Chrissy starved to say the least. At lunch, you and Gareth stopped by the Hellfire table whilst Eddie wasn’t there to have a quick chat with the guys.
“No, no way.” Dustin shook his head.
“Yes way.” Lucas pressed, a firm finger tapping at the table.
“You guys are both wrong.” Mike insisted.
You didn’t even know what they were arguing about, but Steve Harrington’s name came up a lot, which you found both amusing and concerning. Jeff and Gareth ended up in a heated argument of their own, over the debate on which song was the best in Megadeaths latest album. And you and Grant were torn between the two, trying to figure out which would be more amusing to eavesdrop on.
“I see the happy couples making themselves at home.” Eddie’s voice was harsh and loud and full of spite as he sat himself down at the head of the table. Both you and Gareth tried to stifle an irritated groan, rolling your eyes.
“Always a pleasure, Eddie.” you scoffed back, and he sent you a deathly glare, but you could see the hurt behind those big puppy dog eyes. Good. you thought. Let him hurt.
“Jovi and I,” Gareth sat back in his chair, hand reaching out to grab the bottom of yours and he dragged you closer, your face turned red and your eyes went wide, what the fuck, “were just catching up. What’s it to you?”
You heard some mumbling between the freshmen, their eyes were all fixed on you three, trying to predict what was gonna happen next.
“I thought you wanted nothing to do with me?” He snapped back.
And you gave him a disbelieving smile, “And you think the entire world revolves around you? Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to… of course it does, I’m sorry, my liege.”
You heard some snickers from the freshman and saw Lucas covering his mouth to stop his laugh as he turned away. Gareth slapped his hand down on your thigh and squeezed it as a little ‘your awesome’ gesture. He didn’t even mean for Eddie to see that, but he did. His eyes fixed on Gareth's hand that sat just below the short hem of your skirt, his pinkie threatening to slip under, and he poked his tongue into his cheek before slowly bringing his eyes to meet yours again.
“Ha ha.” he forced, head tilting with each of his words in a mocking manner.
You glared at him before turning to Gareth with a sweet smile, “Were clearly getting in the way of King Eddie’s lunchtime here, and we all know how grumpy he gets if he doesn’t eat his nom noms in peace-”
“Shut the fuck up, Y/N.” He rolled his eyes, no princess, you had finally gotten through to him… somewhat anyway, “I thought my displeasure brought you joy.”
“Oh it does.” You smiled at him with bright eyes, “A large amount of it, actually. I just feel bad for your little munchkins getting caught in the crossfire of our crude bickering and your sour mood.”
“Mhm,” He nodded, “leave then.”
Gareth sighed, “Such a gentleman, you really know how to woo a lady.” He rolled his eyes and looked at you, your flustered manor from about thirty seconds ago had not gone unnoticed to him, “How about we skip lunch and go…” his eyes flickered to the freshman, “listen to music in my car.”
Jeff and Grant were the ones to snicker now, and Eddie’s already sour expression just got worse.
“Oh,” you smirked, “I do love listening to music.”
“Subtle.” Eddie mumbled. You were really getting to him.
Gareth stood, reaching his hand out to help you up too, and you did, “Thank you, handsome.”
He smiled, “Anytime, darling.”
You offered the boys a little wave before skipping off hand in hand with Gareth.
“Okay,” He turned to you slightly as you walked with a big grin, “that was brilliant. He was mad.”
“So mad.” you nodded, “And that chair thing… great touch.”
“Chair thing?” He turned to face his car, pulling his keys out of his pocket.
“You know, where you dragged my chair over to you.” You smiled, reaching for the handle to the backseat of his car.
He spun you around so you were facing him, back pressed against the door, your hands still holding the handle behind you, “I didn’t even mean to do that.”
“Well,” You inhaled deeply, “it was very, very nice.”
He grinned, his hands finding purchase on the hood of the car beside your shoulders, “Oh yeah?”
You nodded slowly, your eyes fluttering shut, “Oh yeah.”
“Well,” He leant in closer, lips brushing over the warm flesh along your jaw, “I’ll just have to show you just how much nicer I can be.”
He smirked and grabbed the handle from behind you, pulling the car door open and climbing inside. You glared at him through the open door, and he pumped his eyebrows at you, reaching his hands out as he settled in against the opposite door. You rolled your eyes with a smirk and hopped in, closing the door behind you.
“You're lucky I like nice.”
—————————————————————————
Thursday ended even faster than it started, and ever since yesterday afternoon, you had a plan. You weren’t telling anyone this plan, in case it got back to Gareth because you knew he’d get mad and tell you not to go through with it. But you just had to goddamnit. You had too. So, when Gareth met you in the hallway by your locker, ready to drive you home, you lied and told him Ms. O’Donnel wanted to meet with you after class to talk about your last assignment. He insisted on waiting for you, but you told him you had already called you mum asking for a ride. He was reluctant to leave you so soon in the day, but he did anyway. And then you were off. You started your walk down Denver, then Maple, then Whitacter and onto Miller, and finally you were stepping onto the artificial road that was Coral Drive. You were walking over that patch of grass you would always lay on as a kid that the van was now parked over, and hopping up the steps to the Munson trailer. You didn’t knock, you never did, why should you change your ways now? You busted through the door, slamming it shut behind you. Once your eyes adjusted to the lower light of the room, you had a sudden wave of sorrow wash over you. You didn’t even know how many days and nights you spent in this trailer, all so special, all so meaningful… and now, well now this was probably the last time you were ever going to be here. You sighed deeply, eyes fluttering shut as you took in the feel of it all, the smell… beer, cigarette smoke, weed, stale pizza from a week ago… yup, you were gonna miss this. You didn’t even notice Wayne in the kitchen, he was mid sip of his beer when you walked in. He was in shock, really, you were the last person he had thought would walk through his door on a random Thursday afternoon, but here you were. You took a deep breath, letting the rage take back over, and then you were yelling.
“Edward fucking Munson!” You slammed your hands againt the front door to make a ruckus so he would hear you over his music, but if you were bing honest, you were yelling loud enough for the entire trailer park to hear, “Get your fucking ass out here right now.”
Eddie tensed the second he heard your voice, eyes squinting shut as he dropped his pen into his campaign notebook. Shit. He thought you were there to put him in his place about lunch today.
“Edward!” you only ever called him that when you were playing silly, or if you were really fucking mad… and there was no way he was mistaking this for silly, you stormed into the centre of the room, feet stomping along the carpet trying to elicit a sound, “I know your home… Your ‘little whore’ wants to talk.”
Oh shit. This was worse. He gritted his teeth and took a few breaths, “Gareth, you little shit.” he mumbled to himself before he was getting up and stumbling towards his door.
Your words, however, had Wayne spitting out his beer, “Excuse me?”
You turned your head towards him, a spike of fear, and then you were shaking your head, “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”
He shook his head, reaching for a cloth to wipe his beer covered front, “No, don’t worry about it.” He looked back up at you, “Why are you calling yourself his… uhm-”
“Oh, yeah…” you sighed with a whole lot of sass, “Your nephew-”
Eddie emerged from his room, rather sheepishly, “Y/N.”
“Speak of the devil.” You smiled, “Wayne, feel free to stick around and learn what your beloved little nephew has been getting up to in his spare time… you know, other than dealing drugs and cheating on his girlfriend.”
Eddie groaned, and Wayne stuck his hands up as if to say, ‘I want no part in this’. And so, he was grabbing his beer and walking out of the trailer… though, he stood by the open window to liten.
“Why are you here?” Eddie asked, arms folded over his chest after Wayne had departed.
You smiled at him, and it was terrifying… it was that angry sort of smile that girls did when they were raging out of their fucking minds… like… psychotic almost. He had received that smile too many times from his mother, and one time from you… when you were fifteen and he cheated on his first girlfriend at a party… funny how things circle around.
“Oh, I don’t know Eddie…” you pretended to think, “Maybe it’s because you decided to fuck me over countless times… no… not that one. Hmm, maybe because you cheated on your girlfriend who was my best friend…. Hmm, not that one either. Oh, wait! I know… it's because you went and told my boyfriend that I’m a lying little whore who likes to beg you to let me suck your cock on the regular, and you let me.”
“Shit.” He was rigid.
“Yeah, shit.” you seethed, “Care to explain?”
“Uh,” He swallowed, “You just- i know it’s shitty-”
“Oh, you do, do you?” You shook your head, arms folded over your chest as you tapped your foot on the floor, “Big whoop.”
He gritted his teeth, looking at you for a moment with mean eyes, until he softened and sighed, “I fuckin love you.”
You pressed your lips together and looked away, entirely over everything, “Apparently.” you looked back at him, “If you really did, wouldn’t you just want me to be happy?”
“I-”
“I sure as shit did.” You shrugged, pointing to yourself, “Whenever you ended up with some new girl, I would go home and cry myself to sleep, but I never tried to get in the way. And they never bothered me that much because I knew it wouldn’t last more than a week. But then you found Chrissy, and you were just so infatuated with her, and had been for months- remember, you would never fucking shut up about her. And everytime, I just wanted to scream and cry and tell you to forget her and love me instead, because I was right fucking there the whole time. Every time you told me that you thought she would never love you, that you were just no good trailer trash… a freak… I always thought, ‘shit, I love you’. And I tried to show you, I did show you. And then you got with her anyway and you two were just, so… ah! I don’t even know but it sent me over the edge and I was fucking distraught. Because Eddie, you are so fucking hard to love. So hard! You just ruin everything in your path to get what you fucking want, and you use people so freely. You used me, for everything you could. You milked me dry and then still made me love you… somehow. And then you were with her, and… but I never once tried to get in the way of that. In my head, I hated her. I hated her because she wasn’t me… because I wasn’t her and I could never be her… you only liked perfect girls and that tore me up, Eddie. But not once did I try to get in the way.”
You hadn’t even noticed your crying until you saw him turn his head away in shame, wiping at a tear, and then you were wiping at yours. You sighed, a little sniffle following, and you flung your arms out, trying to get through to him, one way or another.
“God- I tried to be as happy as I could for you. I listened to you… when nobody wanted to listen to your hundredth Chrissy ramble of the day, I did… and it hurt me the most. I made nice with her, I became her friend so that she would have no reason to hate me, so that I wouldn’t get in the way of your relationship. I wanted nothing more than your happiness even though you were the reason I couldn’t have my own. And then the one fucking time I turn my attention to someone new, right when you decided to neglect me all together, you get the shits. You can't fucking take it. It’s not allowed because all of a sudden I’m like… yours to possess, or something. Your personal little fuck doll to use at your disposal, whos always begging, apparently. And you tell that to my boyfri- no… you told that to your best friend. Your best friend, Eddie. You put those filthy images in his head because why? Because you can’t put anyones happiness above yours. It's all about you. Eddie fucking Munson, King of the world.” You forced a laugh and shook your head, “It didn’t work. Nothing you said to him worked. He still loves me, I still love him. Yeah, you fucked with his head, and we didn’t get sexual for-”
Eddie grimaced, glaring up at you for a second.
“What? You don’t like the thought of me having sex with Gareth?”
He grimaced again, shooting you a dirty look. It was almost threatening, though, everything was softer behind thos wet fucking pathetic dog eyes of his. He looked like a stray mutt, kicked to the curb after being thrown out for getting too violent with his owner's kid.
You laughed, for real this time, “Oh thats fucking gold.” you clapped your hands together, taking a little step closer to him, “You can go tell him about these fucked up sex fantasies you have about me, but the minuet I even mention the words ‘sex’ and ‘Gareth’ in the same sentance, you wanna cry for mummy?”
“Just stop.” He whispered, but his words were still harsh.
“What?” You shook your head, “Don’t like the thought of your best friend feeling me up? Hmm? Don’t like the thought of him putting his hands all over me? Of me liking it? Begging him for more-”
He turned away, but you grabbed him, holding his face to look at you as you pulled down the collar of your shirt to show him a big purple bruise above your breast, “Don’t like the sight of that?”
“Jesus-” he pulled away from your grasp in a huff, walking over to the couch where he sat, “Your fucking insane-”
“Oh, I’m insane? Oh, okay… so we're just telling lies today?”
He shook his head.
You thought for a moment, “Your little lies didn’t ruin us, is all I’m trying to say. Yeah, they made him feel so insecure- fuck you for that, by the way. For all of that shit. But, when he eventually told me what you did, all I had to do was tell him it wasn’t true and he was fine again. He didn’t believe it was true in the first place, just that little fucking voice in his head you put there was telling him otherwise. You know… because you fucked him up so much. Because that’s what you do, you fuck people up.”
“M’sorry-”
“Save it.” you scoffed, “I know you're not. You couldn’t fucking care less, you like the thought that it got to you. But-”
“If you just came here to yell at me, cool. Please leave, I’m getting a fucking headache.”
You gave him a look of disbelief, “Oh sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?” you scoffed, “Welcome to the fucking club.”
He rolled his eyes and leant back on the couch, “What? You’ve got more to say then? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me, Y/N. Or can you just not stay away from me?” he leant forward again, a smug smirk on his face, “Realised you do love me afterall, hmm, princess? Gar Bear can’t satisfy you?”
You quirked an eyebrow, arms folding over your chest again and you blinked slowly, “Oh, he can satisfy me plenty. Yeah, no, I particularly like it when he-”
“God.” He stood again, “Can you please shut up?”
“But you asked if he could satisfy me.” you played dumb, “I was just telling you exactly how he can.”
He gritted his teeth, but he didn’t answer.
“I didn’t come here for me.” you finally said, “I came here, becasse you're going to apologise to Gareth… right now.”
“No, I'm not.”
“Yes, you are.” you shoved at him, pusing him towards the door, “You are going to go tell him, how your a fucked up asshole who likes to see his friends and family fall apart, and how we never layed a hand on one another.”
“He’s not going to want to see me.” Eddie protested, slamming a hand on the door as you reached to open it.
“Oh, trust me, I know.” You sighed and snatched his van keys from the table by the door, dropping them down your cleavage so he couldn’t steal them back, “You're coming with me, or say bye bye to your ride.”
“No-”
“Eddie.” You pressed, hand on the door now and he finally let you open it, “You're apologising and then you're getting out of his life, for good. Your going to leave him the fuck alone, okay? I’m sick of your fucking bullshit. I’m sick of all of this fucking bullshit. Now go get in the van, I’m driving.”
“What are you going to do if I don’t?”
You glared at him, “There's nothing I can do.” you shrugged, “But I thought you might at least wanna try being a decent fucking human for once. Have a cleaner conscience.”
He sighed, blinking a few times before deciding to speak, “I don’t think one apology is gonna do much for that.”
You thought for a moment, you thought about being kind, like you usually would, but this was Eddie, and he didn’t deserve your kindness, “No, it’s not. But I love my boyfriend, and I would endure your bullshit every second of every day if it meant he didn’t have another dreaded thought about you calling him lesser, or useless, or unloveable.”
“You really do love him?” Eddie asked, and those pleading eyes came into play again.
“Yes.” you sighed, “With my whole heart.”
He nodded slowly and walked past you through the door. You pulled it shut behind you, stopping to talk to Wayne for a moment.
“He hasn’t learnt.”
“No.” you shook your head, “He hasn’t.”
“Sorry that he said those things about you, kid.” Wayne sighed, “I thought I’d be able to raise him right, after his parents fucked off.”
“You did the best you could, Wayne.” you placed your hand on his shoulder lightly, “I’m sorry you got stuck with him.”
He sighed, “He’s gonna be the death of me one day, but I’ll always love him like my own.”
You nodded.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t take my old room back though.”
You laughed softly, “Hmm, he’d hate that.”
“Very true.” He smiled, offering you a little wave as you left towards the van.
The ride to Gareth's was quiet. You didn’t have the energy for music, quickly turning it off every time he tried to turn it on. No, too many memories of singing your heart out in this van. Once pulled up, you both sat there for a little while, neither of you really wanting to move, though, for vastly different reasons. You looked out the window to Gareth's front door, and sighed. Fuck it. You berated Eddie until he clambered out of the van and walked up to the front door. You assured him he wasn’t getting his keys back until he gave a sincere and honest apology. You felt like a mother. He knocked on the door sheepishly, and you stood behind him, leaving a fair bit of distance between yourselves, arms folded over your chest. There was a long wait until Gareth opened the door, pulling his shirt down over his head, your eyes immediately caught his lower stomach- nope, that’s not why you were here, this is serious. He froze when he saw Eddie.
“Hello?”
Eddie looked back at you, and you widened your eyes, shaking your head forward with a mean glare, making him jump back a little. He looked back at Gareth and fiddled with his rings, “I came to apologise.”
Gareth looked over at you, and you shrugged, you would explain later. But for now, now you needed to kick the back of Eddie’s leg to get him to talk.
“I-” he sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“Wow.” you tapped your foot on the stone path beneath you, “What a sincere apology. Congratulations.”
He glared back at you before turning to Gareth again, “I’m sorry for what I said about, Y/N. None of it was true… as far as I’m concerned she is actually a virgin- well, not anymore obviously. But before you.” he sighed, refusing to look Gareth or you in the eye, “We never- we never did any of the shit I said we did. I made it up- some… some of it was from my head, some of it I did with Chrissy-”
“Yeah, whatever man.” He shook his head and took a little step back, “Is that all?”
Eddie looked back at you, and you waved your hands out angrily. He rolled his eyes and turned back to Gareth, “No. I- I’m sorry for… calling her a whore in-”
“Enough about me, jesus.” you sighed and stepped closer, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him, “Have you never heard of an apology?”
“I’m sorry-”
“Don’t tell me! Tell him!”
Eddie groaned, throwing his head back before finally meeting Gareth's eye, “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I made you feel worthless, I’m sorry I made you feel like shit. I’m sorry about all of it.”
You stared at him, encouraging him to continue. You heard a little commotion inside, and you took a little step back so you were standing beside Gareth in the doorway, where you saw Liz quietly standing in the doorway of the first room, listening. You decided to not draw her any attention, and you looked back at Eddie who was trying to think what to say.
“I just- you… gah- you need… I-” he seethed, a new rage bursting in him, he was sick of this, sick of being treated like a little kid he thought, “It’s not my fucking fault you were too shy to go after the girl you wanted!”
You gave him a mean glare, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“He’s just a little bit-”
“Don’t you dare,” Lizzie pushed though you two and out to Eddie, she was shoving at his chest, making him walk backwards, “Don’t you dare say another thing so horrible about my boy. I treated you like my own, took you in when Wayne couldn’t. Gave you food, a home, a fucking family, and you just abused that. You abused my kindness and you abused my trust and you abused our fucking love! You are no better than your father!”
“Wh-” Eddi stumbled back, trying to escape her fire.
“Mum!” Gareth snapped, running out after her, “Mum, stop.”
“No.” she turned to her son, pure rage in her eyes, “No, enough is en-fucking-nough.”
You grabbed Gareth gently by the arm, and tugged him back, holding him close as Lizzie open fired.
“You know how many times I have wiped away the tears off of his cheeks that you caused? Because I don’t. I stopped counting after the fifteenth fucking time! You treat my boy like scum, and he gives you nothing but love, nothing but kindness, nothing but brotherly fucking love. All of his time was wasted over you. You have done nothing for him! I watched you, all these years I have watched you shove him to the ground, tell him he could never be loved. And I’d sit there, drying his eyes and telling him he could be, and he never once believed me. He never believed me because you would always say the meanest things, whilst flirting with the girl you knew he loved. Years and years I watched him pine over her whilst you just took her love for granted. Time and time again I tried my best to change her path, to show her just how pathetic you really were without damaging your friendship, but god! I should have just torn it to shreds because you don’t deserve them, you don’t deserve either of them, Eddie. Jesus, boy, I love you like my own. I do, I really do. The thought of losing you in that hospital a couple months ago had me losing sleep, not eating, I was already grieving the loss of a son. And I will always think of you like that, you know that? But I will always put my own kid first, I will always put him first, and I will always put her first. Because at least they have respect. Get your fucking act together, Eddie. I don’t want another word until you do.” she shook her head, walking back towards the house now, “Don’t go near my son again.”
He stood still, frozen, holding his breath, tears prickling in his eyes. You tossed him his keys, and they landed on the grass in front of him. He didn’t even look at them. You shook your head before pulling Gareth back inside, and closing the door. You sighed, leaning back against it as you looked at Gareth.
“I’m sorry, I thought that would go better.”
He shook his head, “Yeah. I didn’t.” he was angry, “Why’d you fucking do that?”
You looked down at your feet, a little unsure of yourself, “You deserve an apology.”
“And you don’t?” He shook his head, teeth gritted, “We both deserve an apology, but we're never gonna get one.”
You began to cry now, just a few tears slipping down your cheeks, but you didn’t let either of them see, “I just wanted to help you move on. You know, be assured that all his words were just out of spite and jealousy-”
“Come on, Jovi.” He scoffed, “You really thought he’d just comply?”
Turned your head further away, feeling quite dumb now, “I don’t know.”
“Course he wouldn’t.” Lizzie spoke up, “He’s a fucking sociopath or something. Doesn’t care about anyone's feelings but his own.”
“I know I’m never gonna get an apology from him. That doesn’t mean-”
“I just wanted you to be happy.” you tried.
“I am happy.” he stepped forward, taking your chin in his hand, making you look up at him now as he noticed your tears, “Hey, hey… c’mon.”
“I’m sorry.” you blubbered, more tears spilling as he tried to wipe them away, “I just thought, maybe, you’d start to heal better if he apologised.”
He sighed, holding your cheeks softly, “Well, thankyou for thinking of me like that, trying to help me. But, Jovi, I just want him gone.” he nodded, “You get that, right? Just…”
“Don’t wanna look at him anymore?” You offered.
He nodded, “Exactly.
“I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, “Don’t apologise, baby.” he leant in to kiss the tip of your nose, “You tried to do something nice, and it backfired… So what. You're nice enough as is.”
You smiled softly, leaning into his touch, “No more Eddie. I promise.”
“Me too.”
“Sorry he said those things about you, darlin’.” Lizzie smiled, taking a few steps over to stoke your hair, “You're none of them, okay?” she thought for a moment, “Well, maybe you're a bit of a princess… but none of the other things.”
You all laughed a little. Gareth tugged you into his arms, and Lizzie wrapped her arms around the both of you, all of you just taking a moment to breathe in the fact that that was the last time you were dealing with Eddie Munson for a very long time.
Part 13 - completed
Friday.
Friday, the day you planned on losing your virginity with Gareth.
Friday, a day you both wished moved a lot faster, and a day you dreaded.
You didn’t dread it in a bad way, not really. You were more so just… anxious. Really fucking anxious and desperate to properly please one another. And you both had no idea how to do that. Not really. Sure, Gareth had consumed his fair share of porn, but that was all planned out and over dramatic and very advanced. You were both sure as shit it was gonna be awkward, but you were prepared for that. It was new territory. Awkwardness was a given. You both just managed to get so trapped in your own heads with the thought of possibly disappointing the other, you were dreading it. But you were also so, so excited.
But Friday moved so slow.
You woke up pretty early with the nerves. You dressed yourself, had your breakfast, brushed your teeth, etcetera etcetera. But then you packed yourself a little overnight bag for Gareths tonight with the essentials. Toothbrush, spare change of underwear, a change of clothes for tomorrow, a fresh pair of socks, hairbrush, deodorant, perfume, makeup case, that green set you had brought months ago that Gareth still hadn’t seen. You didn’t need pyjamas because you were either sleeping naked or ending up in his clothes. The essentials. You grabbed that bag and your school bag and then bounced outside to your boyfriend's car with a nervous smile.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” He smiled back, cheeks pink and adorable, “That’s your stuff for tonight?”
“Mhm,” You nodded and tossed it into the backseat, “all set on my end.”
He laughed nervously, “Good.”
You turned the radio on, loading up one of his mixtapes, “Sleep okay?”
He nodded as he pulled back out onto the road, the air was a little tense, but that was expected, “Yeah, not too bad. Would have been better with you though.”
You smiled to yourself, settling back into your car seat, “Guess you’ll be sleeping real good tonight then.”
“Guaranteed, my love.”
“I like that one.” You smiled.
“What?” He glanced at you quickly.
“My love. I like the way it sounds when you call me it.”
“Oh.” He chuckled softly, “Well, my love, I’m glad you do.”
You drummed your fingers on your thighs softly, looking out at the houses passing by, “What time is your mum leaving tonight?”
“Not till after dinner.” He shrugged, “She was meant to head to his before, but he now has a work function or something. Whatever that could be for a middle school science teacher.”
You snorted at his comment, rolling your head over to look at him again, “He’s probably sitting in a last minute parent teacher interview, dealing with another lot of kids like us.”
He laughed, “Jesus. That poor man.” He shook his head, “I empathise with him, I really do.”
You giggled, “At least he’s got a good looking lady to go home too now.”
Gareth scoffed, “Yeah.”
“So, you started calling him daddy yet?” You teased.
He grimaced, scrunching his face up and giving you an evil glare, “Please never say such a thing again.”
You laughed, “No promises.”
“Okay, but jokes aside, I actually like him for my mum.”
“He’s sweet.” You nodded, “And she likes him a lot.”
“She really does.” He laughed, “Last night she was asking me for fashion advice for tonight. I have no idea which pyjamas she should wear to her boyfriend's house.”
You laughed.
“No kidding. And then she had the nerve to ask me what kind of pyjamas you wore when you sleep over.”
Your face turned red, “Oh lord. Does she not see me sporting your old gym shorts the next morning?”
He shrugged, “Apparently not.”
“Lord.”
—————————————————————————
The day went by slowly.
Really fucking slowly.
You made awkward eye contact with Eddie about three times, and it was three times too many. You were shocked he even showed up today. You half expected him to run off and sulk for another week or so. By the time you got back to Gareths, you had decided to get some weekend study done whilst Liz prepped dinner.
“No, it’s B.”
“What?” You scratched your head, leaning over the bed to look at Gareth's notebook on the floor, “Shit.”
He laughed, “It’s a confusing question.”
“Still.” You sighed, “I’ll be surprised if I pass this year.”
Gareth looked up at you and reached for your hand, “You will pass.”
You shrugged, “I haven’t got a single question right on this mock quiz yet.”
“You’ll get there, c’mon. I’ll help.”
You sighed again and chewed on the end of your pencil as Gareth started to read the next question out to you. There was a little knock at the door.
“Come in.” Gareth called out, looking at your page as you weighed out the answers, “Yeah… you got this.”
“A?” You furrowed your brow as Lizzie slipped into the room.
“Yes!” Gareth shouted and held his hand up for a high five.
You circled the answer and highfived him away, “Fucking finally.”
“Good job, darlin.” Lizzie smiled, and you both turned to her, “I just wanted your opinion on some things, Jovi?”
Gareth looked up at you with a little smirk, mouthing the word, ‘pyjamas’, and you giggled a little, “Course.”
She pulled her hands out from behind her back, two sets of pyjamas, as Gareth had predicted, “Which ones?”
“You really like this guy, don’t you?” You giggled, “Why are you so pressed about pjs? Your not even gonna be wearing them-”
“Ew!” Gareth slapped your arm, “That’s my mum!”
You laughed some more, “And your mother is coming to me for relationship advice, so either suck it up or leave the room.”
He groaned and Lizzie wiggled the clothes in her hands. You inspected the options for a moment.
“I thought the black satin set was nice, you know, shows elegance. But the grey ones are just so much more cosy.”
“Well…” You tipped your head, “Depends what you have planned for the night.”
Gareth grimaced again.
“But, you’ve been going out for like, a month or something now, right?”
“A little longer.” She nodded.
“I’d say go cosy. Show him you feel comfortable in his space and you can still be sexy and woo him in comfy, non sexy elegant clothes. Has that more domestic feel. It will drive him mad.”
Gareth scoffed, “How do you know it will drive him mad?”
“Drives all guys mad.” You smiled.
“I doubt that.”
You raised your eyebrows, “Truth.”
He squinted his eyes at you, disbelief behind them.
“No,” Lizzie chimed in, “what she’s saying is right I think. I just haven't really had to think about it for years, I was wondering what the dating scene is like these days.”
You giggled, “Trust me, guys that are looking for a relationship prefer the messy, cosy, nonchalant looks over the effort to look sexy all the time. Though… It is still appreciated. You know, when you toss it in every once in a while they go mad.” You glanced at Gareth subtly, “Like rabid dogs.”
He looked up at you before dropping his eyes back to his page.
“Thank you very much.” She nodded to you, “And, one more question.”
“Sure.” You smiled.
She bit her lip nervously, “Is one month still too early to say ‘I love you’?”
You and Gareth both gasped at her, he gave her a concerned glare, “You sure?”
She nodded, “I think he’s the one for me, Gar Bear.”
You clapped your hands together excitedly, “Absolutely it’s not. You should tell him tonight!”
“But I want to make it romantic.”
“It's better when it’s not too romantic.” Gareth sighed, turning his head back to his page where he continued to solve one of the equations in his notebook.
“Oh?” Lizzie quirked an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you.
He nodded, still concentrated on his notebook, “Yeah, just say it. Like you would any other time deeper into the relationship. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” He sighed, scribbling something down, “It’s nicer like that.”
You squinted your eyes at him and so did Lizzie.
“And you think this because…?” Lizzie shook her head slowly.
He still didn’t look up, too focused on the equation to help you solve it faster, “Yeah, when Jovi said it we were just lying in bed and it was normal and that’s what made it better. She knew I already loved her too, because I already told her before we started going out.” He sighed, “Most girls - well, in movies and stuff anyway - make a big deal out of saying it back. You know, flowers and candles or dinners and shit and they are like ‘oh I love you’, but it’s just a couple of words, and it’s nicer when it's just peaceful and it's just said. And you can just appreciate it.”
You smiled to yourself, playing with your pencil, a warmth spreading in your chest. Lizzie pressed her hand over her heart and pouted her lip, “Oh, that’s so sweet.”
He looked up now, staring disapprovingly at her, “You done now? Can I please help my girlfriend study?”
“Yes, yes, sorry.” She smiled, creeping back out of the room, “Dinner will be ready in about an hour, okay?”
“Thanks Liz!” You called out, and once she was gone, you nudged Gareth’s shoulder, “That was sweet.”
He looked up at you and shook his head, “What was?”
“What you said about our I love yous.” You bit your lip.
He sighed, tipping his head back to rest against the mattress he was leaning against to look at you better, “It’s true. I’m glad you didn’t make a big deal about it. Makes it more meaningful I think. And I’m glad you didn’t say it mid argument.”
You smiled, “I didn’t think it would be nice to attach the first time you heard it to an argument.”
“Fair enough.”
“Though, the first time I said it was in an argument.”
He furrowed his eyebrows, “What?”
“You know, just about everybody knew I loved you before you did.”
His jaw dropped comically low, “Come on.”
“Yup,” You grinned, “I think first I yelled it at Eddie when he was throwing himself at me. Then I told Chrissy at some point probably. I told Grant when I was looking for you after you hitched a ride with Wheeler, and Grant was getting his flirt on with some rando, and he probably told Jeff. And then I told your mum, and then you.”
“My mum knew before me?” He practically shouted.
You laughed, “Sorry!” You tapped your pencil lightly on the tip of his nose, “But I promise I said it to you the sweetest.”
“Good.” He smiled, “And, doubling back…”
“Yes?”
“What's that about guys going animalistic?”
You giggled, “Just something I read in a magazine.”
He nodded slowly, “Do you do that?”
You grinned, “What do you think?”
“No?” He raised an eyebrow, “You don’t do the cosy look, ever really… Do you?”
You just stared at him with a grin.
“But you're always so… hot?” He squinted his eyes at you.
“Is that a question?”
“No. I mean.” He cleared his throat and shrugged.
You sighed, “Okay, tell me if you think this is sexy or not.”
“Okay.” He nodded.
You sat up and took your shirt off, revealing a light blue cotton bralette with white polka dots on it.
“Sexy.” He was very quick to answer.
You giggled, “You think this is sexy?”
“Am I not supposed to?” He looked concerned.
“Well, it’s not a sexy piece of underwear. But it just proves my point. You still think I look great when I don't try at all because you're in it for me and for the relationship. Get me?”
“Ahh…”
You nodded, “If I were to wear this, say… on a first date with a guy on the basketball team, it wouldn’t land too well. You know? They're not looking for a commitment, they're looking for some fun… generally anyway. But you're looking for commitment, to one specific girl. Me. Ultimately, you're just really attracted to me and basically anything I do or wear is gonna appeal to you because you're only interested in pursuing me.” He nodded along slowly, and you smiled at him, continuing, “If I were to wear sexy underwear… like that black one-”
He smirked, “That was so fuckin hot.”
“See.” You smiled, “Like, it’s just normal hot. Normal sexy. But because you're that much more attracted to me, and don't see me in underwear like that, or even clothes like that, all the time, it’s just that much better when I do.”
“Oh.” He nodded, “Yeah, no. That makes a lot of sense. It’s like a little reward.”
You snickered, “Sure, if you wanna think of it like that.” You shrugged, “Guys like sexy underwear and pretty little dresses on a girl, boyfriends like cosy clothes and cotton panties because it’s equally as attractive-”
“Because we like you, not just your body.” He finished.
“Exactly.” You smiled, “So I told your mum to go with those because from my understanding this is not a special event tonight… other than her maybe confessing her love, but-”
“But, the cosies work because she won't be treating it like a big deal!” He grinned.
“Exactly.” You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair.
“We’ve really got this whole relationship thing figured out, baby.”
You giggled and leant down to kiss his forehead, “Yup.”
He went back to working, and so did you. Silence lingered in the air for a while, save the scratching of pens on paper and the faint sound of Black Sabbath playing in the background. He clicked his tongue in his cheek and looked up at you, and then he shook his head and looked back down at his book. He sighed, and then looked up at you again, letting his gaze linger. You sighed,
“If you're wondering if I bought those black lace undies to wear tonight, stop.” You looked at him, “I didn’t.”
He gave you a little smile, cheeks pink, “I- I wasn’t…”
“Hmm.” You nodded, turning back to your page, “Right.”
He sighed, “I don’t expect you too. But you just said… you said special occasions…” He played with his fingers, “Just… made me think about you wearing them.”
You grinned to yourself knowing damn well you had something better than that black set for him tonight, “Well, I’m flattered, really. But I didn’t bring them.”
“That's okay.” He smiled, and his words were genuine, “I like that blue one anyway.” He tapped his pen on your bra strap, “It’s cute.”
You shook your head a little, smiling, “I didn’t wear the matching undies.”
He giggled, “That makes it even cuter.” He reached up over the bed and pulled the waistline of your shorts to see what panties you did have on before snapping it back into place, “Green polka dots, very cute.”
“I try my best.” You smiled and then looked over to him, layering up your lies, “I just didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it already was.” man was he gonna be surprised tonight.
“Yeah.” He smiled softly, “That makes sense, I like that. I love you, Jovi, no matter what underwear you have on.”
You giggled, “Wow, you're really stepping up.”
“I know right?”
You shook your head with a little smirk, “I love you too, Gar Bear.”
summary: You’ve always secretly pined over Eddie Munson, your best friend, but when you find out he’s dating Chrissy Cunningham, you reach your breaking point. you seek comfort from Gareth, your second best friend. you figure out he’s got a crush, but you don’t know who, you were determined to figure it out though. but he was determined to keep his feelings for you locked away forever. but plans change, right?
too late masterlist - find next chapter there :)
Gareth still sat on the window, knees pulled up to his chest, head resting against the cool glass contrasting the afternoon sun. His cheeks were warm and red and sticky with remnants of salty tears, more sat in his eyes, waiting to fall. He looked out over the little town he had grown up in, he looked out at the quiet streets, at the park just a few roads over, at the church near the centre of the town, at the giant willow beside it. All places he spent his childhood with Eddie. All those places held such strong, important memories that he wanted nothing more than to forget. He watched the soft blow of the trees in the wind, kids, much like his younger self, on bikes riding around, playing, laughing. It all reminded him all too much of those days that would end too soon with Eddie. If he turned his head a little more to the left, he would be able to see the corner where he crashed his bike at eleven years old. Him and Eddie were racing, a competition to see who would get to you the fastest, but he crashed at that corner and skimmed his knee. And if he looked, he would remember how Eddie hopped off his bike, and helped Gareth to his feet, and they walked their bikes the rest of the way and Eddie joked around, trying his best to put a smile back on his friend's face. Because they were kids then, and nothing mattered, only each other. And that was before Eddie started treating Gareth as less. And it would hurt too much to remember a time so peaceful, so content, it would ache his heart.
You, on the other hand, were sat on the small couch on the other side of the hospital room. Your legs were crossed and your eyes were fixed on the bright, white, glossy floors. You haven't cried in hours. You haven't let yourself. You pulled the hood of Gareth's jumper over your head, shielding you away from the rest of the world, your sleeves pulled down over your hands and tucked neatly into your lap. You fiddled with the cuffs of your jeans and the laces of your converse, your mind as empty as you could force it to be. You and Gareth couldn’t bear to be near one another. You couldn’t even look at eachother. You felt too guilty. The weight of the situation; that if you had just chosen Eddie instead of Gareth; dragged your shoulders down to the ground. You both felt it. You both knew it. You didn’t need to say it.
Jeff and Grant were sat on the end of his bed, the room was eerily quiet, save the rhythmic beat of his heart monitor. The only indication you had that he was alive; that you hadn’t killed him. Yet. Lizzie and Wayne quietly made their way back into the room, they had gone to collect some lunch and have a smoke break, they wanted to give you four some time alone with him and one another. But you didn’t want to speak, neither did Gareth. Only Jeff and Grant shared a few passing words between one another. Everything was just… too much. They handed around sandwidges and cans of soda and juice boxes, but all of you were a little too reluctant to eat. Especially you. You felt sick. Wayne sat down on the arm of the couch beside you, and Lizzie sat on the windowsill with her son, her hand reached out to hold his, and he began to cry so softly again. No one noticed, only she did. Wayne rested his hand on your shoulder, but you didn’t realise. You didn’t feel it, too in your head to process anything much from the outside world.
“Kid,” Wayne repeated, however, you didn’t hear him speak the first time, he shook your shoulder slightly and you snapped out of your trance to look at him, “you know how I can reach his girl? I don’t have her number.”
Everyone's guilty eyes fell on Wayne, a silence suspended in the room, he looked around, eyebrows furrowed.
“They broke up.” you whispered, and you could barely hear it yourself, and then the lump rose in your throat and made your words sting, “Last night. They broke up.”
“Oh,” Wayne sat back a little, his eyes drifting over to Eddie, “oh.”
You let a few tears slip past your eyes as you looked at him too, “I don’t think she wants to see him.”
“What happened?”
You couldn’t bring yourself to answer, you hang your head down and let your tears fall into your lap. Gareth couldn’t speak either, and he just looked to his mother. She sighed, her eyes red rimmed as they fixed on Wayne, “You know how we always thought Ed’s and Jovi were in love with each other?”
Wayne took a sharp inhale and nodded slowly, “Oh.”
Lizzie sighed again, and looked to her son for some assurance, “He told her he loved her at that party, right in front of Gareth and Chrissy. Tried to kiss her.”
“Did kiss her.” Gareth mumbled, his head turning back to look at Eddie.
“Right,” Lizzie nodded, “he did kiss her and told her he loved her and wanted her. Fucked everything up.”
Wayne looked over at his nephew with a disapproving frown, shaking his head, “And I’m guessing you don’t love him back?”
You looked up at Wayne, and he still wasn’t looking at you, “No. I-” you looked over to Gareth, your eyes fixed on his and suddenly the guilt multiplied, “I love Gareth.”
Wayne nodded slowly and looked over to Gareth with a half hearted smile, “I always wondered which one of you she would choose.”
You both looked up at the man with desperate eyes, Gareth’s flicked over to you a couple of times. He couldn’t help himself.
“You two were hers right from the start. I always hoped Eddie would have gotten the love I thought he deserved with you, kid, but I’ve come to understand that he doesn't deserve it as much as Gareth.” Wayne sighed and looked back at Eddie, “Just thought he’d be smarter than to fuck up the one good thing he had with you lot.”
“Me too.” You whispered, pulling your knees to your chest and hiding behind them.
“Just make sure she finds out, okay?” He looked back to you, “She was his girlfriend.”
You nodded and the room fell silent again.
—————————————————————————
You still sat in that chair, in that same position five hours later. Eddie was still asleep, the room was dark and quiet and cold. Wayne and Lizzie had decided that it would be best to get out of the hospital for a couple of hours, to go have some late night dinner at the diner or something. Jeff and Grant grew hungry, but you and Gareth couldn’t process eating another thing. No, the guilt was eating you inside out and you couldn’t leave his side. Neither of their sides. And so the two of you stayed. And you waited. Not a word was shared between you. Not once. It hurt. Gareth stood up suddenly, catching your attention. He looked at Eddie, taking a few steps closer to his bed, and your shoulders sunk. He then looked over to you, and he swallowed, a sorrow filled frown etched on his face. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked as if he was about to speak, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to say or how to say anything. And then he just walked out of the room. And you didn’t know why, your eyes followed him until they couldn’t anymore, and then he was gone and you were left to solitude. You weren't sure how much more time passed, but your eyes never left the space Gareth last occupied. You desperately awaited his return. Even if no words were shared, you needed him. You needed someone, at least, you couldn't bear to be alone here with Eddie dying in front of you. But you needed Gareth the most. You always needed Gareth the most. You thought about following him out, about chasing after him and walking by his side in silence. Maybe you’d even cling to him, and maybe he would let you. But you also couldn’t bear to leave Eddie alone. What if in those mere moments he was left alone here, his heart gave out and he died with no one at his side? You weren’t sure he was deserving of your attention, or comfort, but no one deserved to die alone. The steady beep of his heart monitor was constant in your ears, your eyes fixed on the slither of light though the gap in the curtain Gareth had left through, it was peaceful, almost. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was steady. But then it wasn’t. The beat that once went to the count of four, began to fasten to the beat of three. Your eyes darted over to him. This couldn’t be the end. It fastened again, the beeping louder in your ears, more constant, and you didn’t even have time to process before you were running to his bedside. You grabbed his hand in yours, eyes flicking between the monitor and his face. His face didn’t change. And then it quickened again, to the beat of one, and your heart raced just as fast. His eyebrows contorted and you didn’t even realise you were crying until you couldn’t see his face though the tears anymore. You were chanting his name, begging him to wake, telling him that you were there. And then he opened his eyes. Your heart stopped. Your tears stopped. The calling of his name stopped. He took a moment eyes scanning around the room until he turned his head slightly to look at you, you were sat on the edge of his bed, knee pressing softly into his side so you could face him, the other hanging off the edge of the bed, your cold hands clasped around his warm one. He groaned with his movement, there was bruising all over his neck and shoulders, but his eyes did fix on you. He just looked at you, and you just looked at him for a moment.
“You're awake.” you whispered, not being able to talk much louder.
He nodded slightly, “You’re…” he looked around the room, taking his surroundings in, “in the hospital.”
“You almost died.” These words were a little sharper than the last, a little more bitter.
“You're the only one here.”
“They left to get food… we’ve been here all day.”
“You’ve been here all day?” his voice was soft, horse, and it hurt to speak.
You nodded slightly, “You almost died.” you repeated, and your words were harsh.
“I’m- I’m sorry.”
“No,” you shook your head, tears starting again and you shoved his hand away, standing now as you gritted your teeth, “You don’t get to be sorry. You ruined everything! You ruined everything, Eddie.”
Tears began to prick at his eyes now, partially from your words, partially from the pain in his body, “I didn’t-”
“You know, you got your fucking wish.” you spat, “Chrissy and I aren’t fucking friends anymore.”
He lifted his hand to scratch his head, and widened his eyes when he realised it was in a cast, “Fuck.”
You shook your head, his attention back on you, “You broke her heart. You shattered it! How could you? How could you, Eddie! She loved you and you just used her! For no reason! You could have had me if you had just asked, but you just wanted to torment me instead… torment Gareth!”
He looked away from you, unable to face the truth that he forced himself to ignore for years, and years.
“You broke his heart too, Eddie. And mine.” your voice was calmer now, but it still cut him deep, “Years and years of friendships built up to nothing. All dissolved in one stupid night because… because I don’t even know why. Because you could?”
His cries were quiet, and he still couldn’t face you, “Please, I- I love you… so much. I need you, princess.”
You shook your head, “I don’t. You took too long and broke my heart too many times. And I have never needed you.”
Silence hung in the air for a moment, his eyes were fixed on his blank cast, “Is Chrissy okay?”
“I have got no fucking clue, Eddie.” You whispered, “She doesn’t want to look at me because of what you did. You cost me too much last night… Last night, not only did I lose my longest friend and most favourite person, I lost the first ever girlfriend I've had. And you know what, that shit sucks ass Eddie. I finally thought I was getting my happy ending. My best friend back, a girl in my life, someone to give me the love I constantly gave. But no. No of course not, because that doesn’t suit you. That doesn’t please you. You can’t keep me trapped under your arm like that, you can’t control me. I don’t belong to you.”
“Y/N, please-”
“Eddie?” A voice spoke beyond the curtain, one you recognised easily, and you turned to find Gareth standing there with a balloon and a bunch of flowers in his hand.
Eddie swallowed and looked up at him, “Hi.”
Gareth couldn’t say anything. He just gritted his teeth and walked around the bed and tied the blue little ‘get well soon’ balloon to the bedrail. He looked at Eddie with a deep sigh and nodded. Eddie looked at him for a moment, his eyes dropping to the bouquet before looking up at Gareth,
“Those for me?” he said with a bright smile.
“No.” Gareth shook his head and reached for his belongings off the window seal.
“Oh.” Eddie nodded, his heart sank a little, he looked back to you, “I’m sorry-”
“I said you don’t get to be sorry, Eddie. You’ve said it hundreds of times before, and not once have you ever, really meant it. How am I supposed to believe you now?”
He nodded slowly, and Gareth leant back against the window, Eddie cleared his throat, “How… How long have you two been together?”
You sighed and looked over to Gareth who was focused on the daisies in his hand, since my birthday.”
Eddie tensed, his eyes fixed on you, “But-” he looked over to Gareth and then to you again, “I heard you… that night, I heard you talking to Gareth about me.”
You nodded, “Look, I don’t know what you heard. But I was telling him how I was getting over you. And I was getting over you because I was getting feelings for him. And he actually acknowledged that, and appreciated that. Something very forign to me.”
Eddie scolded himself, eyes dipping to his sheets, “Right.” he nodded, “So… you finally got her-”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, man.” Gareth scoffed, shaking his head and slamming the flowers down on the window seal, “Don’t even try to play fucking nice. Do you even remember what you said to me last night? Right before you rushed off to grope my girlfriend in front of yours?”
He closed his eyes, his mind racing and his body packed full of regret.
Gareth rolled his eyes, “You won’t even admit it.” He walked back over to the bed, “You don’t even know how much you’ve hurt me. How much you've hurt her.” he pointed to you, eyes fixed on Eddie’s puppy dog ones, “You will never get my forgiveness. And we will certainly never just… go back to how it was.”
“I’m so-”
“You’re not.” He said quietly, right as the rest of the group was heard entering the room, “You’re not sorry to me, you're not sorry to Jovi, and you're not sorry to Chrissy. You never are. All you do is take, take, take and you never fucking think about the consiquences and I’m done. I’m fucking done, Eddie.”
He started to cry again, cut by Gareth and your words, and utterly embarrassed to be sitting here in a hospital bed, with his uncle and friends and chosen mother listening to him be belittled like this.
“I hope you get better, I really do. I really didn’t want you to die, you were my best friend. And I wish you all the best, and I hope you get a happy future and all that crap… but I want nothing to do with it.” He turned around and collected his things, “Goodbye, Eddie. Get well soon.”
And with that, he was walking out of the room, Lizzie running off after him. You stepped up to the bed, Wayne and the boys giving you plenty of room. You sat down on the edge and took Eddie’s hand in yours. He looked up at you with wet cheeks and hope in his eyes as he squeezed your hand. You swept his grimey bangs back from his face and thumbed the tears from his cheeks with a soft smile. You lent in to press a kiss right between his brows, and his breath hitched. You pulled back, and looked at him, each of your cold hands soothing on his burning skin. You whispered, “I hope someone makes you suffer, just as you have done to everyone else who’s ever loved you.”
His face dropped, a new shade of white washing over him. You smiled at him again and petted his hand before standing up, and leaving the room. You found Lizzie making her way back towards the room, and she pulled you into a tight hug, kissing your face as a mother would, and told you Gareth was going to the car. You nodded and parted ways, walking through the pristine corridors of the hospital to find him. You saw him walking slowly through the car park, bouquet hanging upside down from his hand as he approached the car. You rushed up to him, taking a step in front of him but keeping your space.
“Got room in the car for one more?” You smiled sheepishly, both of your hearts aching.
He nodded, lip pouted and tears spilling over. You pulled him into your arms, and he wrapped his tight around you, crying into your shoulder harder than you had seen him cry, ever. You stroked his hair, letting yourself cry too now, but not as hard as him. Your tears for Eddie were long gone, he didn’t deserve them anymore. You only cried for Gareth now, and your heart hurt for him so much. You stayed there for a while, in the quiet dark of the almost empty car park, holding him up in your arms as he cried all he could. Your - well, his - jumper was stained in tears and smelt of grief. You were both prepared to lose Eddie today, one way or another. However, you had processed the loss already, you had cried for it already. All you needed to do was tell him you were letting go, and now you had done that. But Gareth, well, his grief had only just begun. And now it was your turn to do for him, what he had done for you more times than you had ever realised. You kissed his cheek tenderly as his cries began to die out, sweeping some hair back from his face and pulling away just enough to look him in his foggy eyes, “I love you, and I’ve got you. Okay?”
He nodded softly, holding your wrist in his hand, keeping it on his cheeks, “I got you flowers.”
Your heart fluttered and you pouted your lip a little, his voice was so sweet yet so hurt and it made you just want to cradle him in your arms and sing him to sleep, “You did?” you smiled, a little laugh slipping through the tears.
He nodded and held the bouquet of daisies, baby’s breath, and Japanese crysanthonyms wrapped in brown paper and clear cellophane with yellow polka dots decorating it, tied off with a green and brown string bow, out for you to take. And you did, graciously. You held them to your face and took in the sweet scent. You looked up at him with glassy eyes and a big smile, “Why did you get me flowers?”
“Because you're grieving.” he shrugged, his voice so small, “And you deserve them… and because I saw them and thought of you so I just wanted too.”
You sniffled a little, your heart felt so full, “No one’s ever wanted to buy me flowers before.”
He smiled to himself, eyes and lips puffy from crying, “Well, I’m glad I could be your first.”
You smiled and hugged him again, and he left his sweet little kiss on the tip of your nose. A kiss that was always filled with so much love and adoration. It was one of your favourite things in the world. You grabbed the keys from his hand carefully and shook them in the air, “You're in no condition to drive, sugar. Where do you want to go?”
He smiled a little, “Sugar?” you shrugged, and he laughed, “Anywhere, as long as it’s with you.”
summary: You’ve always secretly pined over Eddie Munson, your best friend, but when you find out he’s dating Chrissy Cunningham, you reach your breaking point. you seek comfort from Gareth, your second best friend. you figure out he’s got a crush, but you don’t know who, you were determined to figure it out though. but he was determined to keep his feelings for you locked away forever. but plans change, right?
too late masterlist - find next chapter there :)
It was safe to say that Gareth and you really liked having sex. I mean, it was constant. Whenever you got the chance you’d be having quickies, blow jobs, fingering, and then late at night when your parents were sleeping was when you’d make love. You loved the quick, scandalous fucks you’d have constantly, but those late nights where he’d hold your hand beside your head, kiss you tenderly, his thrusts slow and deep which had you both quietly panting and whimpering and trying to stay quiet… those were your favourites.
Today, well, today was the last day of school. It was hot, summer rounded the corner faster than expected, and everyone was a little hyper. You had rocked up to school early, like really early, to help with the senior prank. You and Gareth and Jeff and Grant and a couple of other kids were all in charge of mucking up the drama studio. You’d covered the place in streamers, toilet paper, sticky notes with stupid faces and phallic images scribbled on them, glitter, the tech kid set all the stage lights onto disco mode and Nu Shooz I Can't Wait playing on full volume on a permanent loop. It looked like a fucking rave. You’d mucked up the Hellfire table too, scribbling on it with metallic markers, silly images, stupid words, inside jokes, memories, your names. It was your legacy, and it was also fun to think about Eddie finding yours and Gareth's names next to each other, surrounded by hearts right at the head of the table, staring him down. After the room had officially been mucked up, you all clambered out into the halls, talking excitedly and making more mess. You met the other students and wandered around, looking at all the other destruction. There was still a good hour or so before teachers would start to arrive, the students were all adding their finishing touches. You all crowded out to the old gym wall behind the football field that was hidden away, the stoner corner. On that wall were hundreds of names, all the seniors of the past eight years, another wall on the other side of school was full to the brim with older ones. You all lined up and wrote your names before heading to the football field to hang before the teachers were due to arrive. You and Gareth were sitting on the grass together, he was between your legs, laying back onto your stomach whilst he talked with Jeff. You saw Chrissy sitting not too far over, and you offered her a little smile. She grinned at you with a big wave. You started to wave back, but her smile faltered and she turned back to her cheer squad. You looked over your shoulder to find Eddie. He wasn’t even supposed to be here, he didn’t pass again. You puffed, looking away from him and burying your nose in Gareth’s hair.
“Hey-“
“Go away, Eddie.” You didn’t look up at him as you spoke.
Jeff and Gareth turned to look at him, Grant was standing beside him. Gareth glared at Grant.
“Sorry, he wanted to see you.”
“Mm, who said we wanted to see him?” Gareth turned away.
“I just wanted to apologise-“
“You already did that once.” You huffed, giving him a mean glare before snuggling back against your boyfriend, “Wasn’t honest.”
Eddie scoffed, “Fine. Don’t listen then, but could you at least keep the fucking PDA to a minimum?” He waved his hands around, “Thinking about you with him is bad enough, I don’t need to see it.”
You slowly turned to him, “Eddie… I don’t care about your feelings.”
“Bull shit.” He folded his arms, “Come on. Look, you know I can treat you bett-“
“Shut the fuck up.” You glared at him.
“I know part of you still loves me, princess-“
“No-“
“You have to.”
“I don’t.”
“Yeah, you do.” He squatted down, getting in both your eyelines now and it made Gareth want to cry.
“Did you come here just to try and get me again?”
“It’s been so long, princess. I’ve thought about it all, and I'm sorry, I know I was wrong back then but I can be better now. I am better now, I promise.”
“bull shit man.”
“I’m better now.” He tipped his head, eyes big and brown and wide, that stare that always used to get you falling into his stupid little traps, but not this time.
You scoffed, looking away from him, “Yeah.”
“Please.”
You didn’t respond, just looked away from him.
“I can be so good for you now, princess.” He reached out, grazing his finger along your cheek and brushed your hair back as he spoke his next word, “I can make you feel so much better than he can.”
You shook him off your cheek.
“Dude!” Gareth shook his arms out, “I’m right fucking here!”
“Just proving my point more.” Eddie glared at him, and then smirked at you, “Bet I can make you wet whilst he’s sitting between your legs.”
You took a moment to just stare at him, utterly, completely fucking stunned at his words, how the fuck was he so thick in the head, “What…?”
He brushed his fingers along your thigh, making you kick your leg to shoo him, but he was persistent with his touches, “Already got you squirming for me, huh?” He chuckled, “Come on, I’ll be so much better.”
You shook your head slowly, not sure how to respond, “No… you- no.” You wrapped your arms tight around Gareth, “My boyfriend, whom I love, keeps me more than satisfied, actually.”
Eddie grimaced at the thought, “But, I can…” He slid his palm over your thigh, grabbing you high there, “touch-“
“Get… the fuck… off me, you cunt.” You snapped shoving him away by the chest, “You disgust me.”
Eddie looked at you for a moment.
“Leave right now, or I’m gonna start screaming.” You pressed.
“No you won’t.” He scoffed.
“Try me, bitch.” You smirked, “I’m sure Carver is more than willing to play hero and save me from being a pawn in your satanic rituals.”
Gareth laughed, and Edds teeth clenched.
“Leave now, or the entire senior year are gonna think your setting me up like a lamb to the fucking slaughter.” You eyed him, and he nodded eerily, standing up and walking away defeated.
“You're gonna regret that..” he mumbled.
“Ah huh.” You smiled, watching him disappear, “Asshole.”
“Such an ass.” Gareth shook his head, “Hey, you know what would be funny?”
“What?”
“If we fucked in his throne.” Gareth grinned, looking back over his shoulder at you.
You laughed, and it was evil, “Let’s go before the teachers get here.”
You ran down through the halls and busted into the Hellfire room. You locked the door behind you and shoved Gareth back until he was falling into Eddie’s regal throne. He was grinning, cheeks pink like they always were before sex, he was adorable. You stood over him, eyes wide as he looked up at you. You leant over, petting his cheek as you kissed him sweetly. You shimmied your underwear doff from under your skirt and tossed it in Gareth’s face, waiting as he unbuckled his jeans and shimmied them down, cock already rock hard. You climbed onto his lab and slowly sunk down into him, mouth gaping open with the stretch. Gareth slapped his hand over your mouth to silence you. You bounced on his cock, quick and hard, dirty talking each other as you approached your climax. It was quick and dirty and had both of you panting. You lifted up off him, just in time for Gareth to direct his stream onto the wood between his legs on Eddie’s chair. He stood up to inspect his work with a proud grin. You pulled your underwear back on and leant down, smearing a finger through the sticky fluid and used it to write yours and his initials on the seat with a little heart. You smiled, kissing your boyfriend before pulling him out of the room. You passed Eddie on your way, he was obviously going to check to see what everyone had done to his precious Hellfire room. You gave him a wicked grin, and he ran down to the room frantically. Shame you didn’t get to see his reaction.
—————————————————————————
You and Gareth flopped down on the couch in the backroom. School was out, finally, and you were free of all those horrid assessments and pointless drama. You both sat, looking up at the roof, Alice Cooper playing over the speaker, hand in hand. Now what?
“When’s Lizzie due home?”
“Ah, in about an hour.” Gareth shrugged.
“Should we just watch tv till then?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, leaning forward for the remote, “She’s bringing Mr Clark over tonight, we're gonna have pizza and beer to celebrate the end of the year. You wanna stay? Or do your parents need you home?”
“Nah.” You shook your head, “I’ll stay, they have to work late tonight anyway.”
“Cool.” Gareth sighed, flicking through the channels.
You watched tv till Lizzie got home, having a few make out sessions here and there to pass the time, but you both felt a little empty. Like, what the fuck were you supposed to do. You never had to worry about highschool again, that had been your entire life, and now what? Scott came over for dinner, and you all settled in the lounge to watch a movie and eat greasy pizza and drink cheap beer, cuddled up together. It was a nice night, it felt good. You ended up crashing at Gareth’s again.
—————————————————————————
Graduation day.
On the three days between school being out and grad, you did practically nothing. I mean, you went shopping with Gareth to buy a nice outfit for the occasion, and had a lot of sex, but that's about it.
You fixed your dress, a black, tight fitted sparkly short dress with spaghetti straps. You wore black mesh stockings underneath with your doc’s because after taking a stumble when wearing heels for Gareth that night, you had sworn off them for life. You fluffed up your hair a little and fixed your lipstick before grabbing your red leather jacket and bouncing down the stairs. You ran out the door and practically threw yourself into the car. You were running late.
“Always takes so long.” Your mother muttered from the front seat whilst applying some more blush in the visor mirror.
“Sorry for making sure I don’t look like a bag of trash.” You rolled your eyes whilst fastening your seatbelt.
Your mother looked back over her shoulder with a glare, “Hmm.”
“What?” You scoffed, looking at your outfit.
“What happened to the pink dress? The one I wore to my graduation?”
“I didn’t want to wear pink, mother.” You glared at her as your dad huffed whilst reversing out of the driveway.
“Well why not? It’s so pretty on you.”
“Maybe when I was five.” You looked out the window, “I don’t wanna be a princess anymore mum. Get over it, please.”
“Hmm.” She pumped her eyebrows, and muttered under her breath, “No wonder you’re only friends with those boys.”
“Mum!” You snapped.
“Alright, alright!” You’re dad butt in, “Can we please just calm down, and have a nice day? No bickering? Please?”
“Whatever.”
—————————————————————————
You ran full speed for your friends when you reached the football oval. You jumped, landing right on Gareth's back and sending him stumbling forward into Jeff and almost falling over, but Grant managed to catch you both.
“Fuck, you scared the shit outta me, Jovi.”
You giggled, kissing his pink cheek over and over again, still latched on his back with his hands under your thighs to hold you up. The other two fake gagged at you. You hopped down from his back to give the other two boys a tight hug, excited for the day. You hopped back on Gareth’s back to head into the gym to get your cloaks and hats. You had your cloak on, and you were mucking around with your hat with Gareth when you got a little tap on the shoulder. You turned around to see Chrissy with a sweet smile.
“Hi.” You beamed.
“Hi.” She hugged you.
“How are you?” You asked, wrapping your arms tight around her.
“I’m doing better.” She smiled and pulled back, “I just wanted to give you this. A little graduation gift, all my closest friends have gotten one.”
You took the little bag from her with a bashful smile, “Thank you!”
“No problem. Are you coming to my party tonight?”
“Yes.” You smiled, “I’m dragging these bozos along with me, is that okay?”
“Of course it is.” She grinned, “I’ve got my jacket ready to go.”
You grabbed yours off of the coat hanger, “Me too.”
“Yay!” She hugged you again, “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Bye.” you smiled, watching her hurry off back to her friends.
You turned to Gareth with a wide smile, and he looked so happy for you. He gestured to the present and told you to open it. You did, pulling out a little box. You opened it up to find a small silver necklace with an “86” pendant on it, on the back were your initials inscribed, just like hers. You made Gareth put it on you. After finding a way to wear your cap without losing too much volume in your hair, you and the boys made it back out to the football field, and sat down in your assigned seats.
—————————————————————————
You tossed your cap in the air with the other hundreds of students around you in the sea of green. Cheers and shouts and laughter echoed around the area. You graduated. You grabbed your cap when it came herdling back down and made a run for it. Over to the right side of the bleachers where you and the guys promised to meet at the end of it all. You ran there, and Jeff caught up to you. You grabbed his hand and continued to run to the spot and pulled him in for a bone crushing hug. Then came Grant and you flung yourself into him for a hug too. And when Gareth rushed over, you jumped into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed him silly. Freedom. It felt good.
—————————————————————————
The four of you headed straight to the diner on the corner of Cornwall and Mollie street, stuffing your faces with burgers and loaded fries and milkshakes before walking to the party. It was a nice night. You walked beside Gareth, his arm slung over your shoulder. The other boys walked at either of your sides, and you all just talked and laughed and recapped your time at school. Recapped all the good memories. When you rocked up at Chrissy’s, the party was already booming. Loud music blasted down the street and her front yard had stoners high out of their minds laying on the grass, and people making out, and people stumbling around drunk. A popular kids party. The boys dreaded it. You dreaded it. But you were also excited. You headed in and got yourselves some drinks before heading out to the backyard and finding some chairs to sit in.
“Hi!” Chrissy bounced over, already half drunk and her lips and tongue were stained red from the drink in her hand.
“Chris!” You smiled up at her, and she plopped herself down in your lap.
“How long have you been here?”
“About half an hour.” You smiled up at her.
“Enjoying yourselves?” She directed the question at the boys mostly.
They all smiled and tipped their drinks to her. She giggled, sharing a knowing look with you. She was wearing her matching pink jacket over a black lacy dress. It was a little out of order for her.
“Do you like my dress?” She asked, as if reading your mind.
“It’s cute… looks like something I would wear.”
“I know.” She beamed, pulling the skirt out to show you more of it, clicking her heels together in her pink mary janes, “That’s why I got it!”
Your heart felt a little full, “Really?”
She nodded frantically, taking another sip, “You always look so cool. I wanted to try. I don’t think Jason likes it very much, but he can deal with it.”
You laughed, “Well you look great.”
“I know!” she leant down to kiss your cheek, leaving a sloppy red mark there, “I’ve got to go host, but find me for a dance or two later?”
“Okay.” You smiled and helped her find her feet again.
You smiled at your feet. Gareth reached his hand out for yours, and you looked up with a soft smile. He pulled you over into his lap, and he kissed your other cheek whilst wrapping his arms around you, “It’s good to see you happy.”
You giggled and kissed the tip of his nose, “You too.”
—————————————————————————
You ended up saving a lot of dances for Chrissy, spending half the night dramatically dancing around the living room with her, spilling your drinks and almost falling over. The other half of the night you were dancing with Gareth… and fucking him in the upstairs bathroom. You were careful not to get anything on Chrissy's toothbrush.
By the end of the night, you were stumbling home with Gareth and the boys, sneaking past his house so as to not wake Lizzie and Scott, and creeping into the pool house out the back. Lizzie had already made up the pull out for you guys, and set up a couple of mattresses on the floor. You all crashed pretty quickly, you were all very drunk and it was three in the morning.
You cuddled up to Gareth, your head on his chest, your makeup smearing over his shirt because you were too drunk and tired to take it off. He cradled you in his arms and pressed about a million sleepy kisses to the top of your head and along your brow.
“Jus’ love you so much.” He mumbled, voice barely above a whisper and his words all slewn. Only you could hear him.
“Love you so much too.” You pressed a sloppy wet kiss to his neck.
“We should get married.”
You giggled, “You think?”
“Mhm.” He nodded, nuzzling his nose into your hairspray ridden hair, “Wanna see you in a white poofy dress. It would be so funny. You’d hate it.”
“Ass hole.” You kicked his shin.
“Do you think mum would give us her blessing?”
You laughed, and it came out with a snort, “No. She’d kill us.”
Gareth laughed too, “She would. We should just elope to sprite her.”
“Sprite?”
“You know… to rub it in her face.” He huffed.
“Spite?”
He laughed, “Oh yeah, that one.”
You laughed too, “We should elope… I’ll get Mr Clark to walk me down the aisle.”
“Oh that would be magical.” He giggled, pulling you closer, “Mum would have an aneurysm.”
“You gotta knock me up before we do it, just for a little extra fun.”
“Too easy.” He slobbered more kisses along your forehead, “I really could go for some fried chicken right now.”
You made a strange sound, that was kind of a groan but more high pitched. It made Gareth laugh. You mumbled, “Fried chicken would be so good right now.”
“Need magic powers to have it delivered to us.”
“Hell yeah.” You sighed, wiggling around to get more comfortable, “Do you think we should have fried chicken for the reception of our elopement?”
“Absolutely.” Gareth nodded, “And we’ll get all your pregnancy cravings.”
“Sounds perfect.” You sighed, “Don’t think I wanna be pregnant on our wedding night though. I wanna get drunk.”
“Good point.” He hummed, thinking for a moment, “Maybe you’ll just have to knock me up instead.”
“Easy peasy.” You laughed, “You’ve got good baby bearing hips-”
“Will you two please shut the fuck up?” Grant groaned from the floor beside you.
“Please.” Jeff added, “We get it, you’re in love. Grow up. We're trying to sleep!”
“Sorry.” You rolled your eyes with an aggressive huff.
“Jesus.” Gareth muttered, “I invite you into my home-” a pillow was thrown at his head.
You laughed.
“Thank you!” Grant mumbled, rolling back over to sleep.
You looked at Gareth for a moment, both of you trying to suppress your laughter but eventually failing. You buried your faces into the pillows to quiet yourselves and cuddled up for sleep. Gareth pressed more sleepy kisses to your cheeks and lips and the tip of your nose, which sent you to dream land in no time.
summary: You’ve always secretly pined over Eddie Munson, your best friend, but when you find out he’s dating Chrissy Cunningham, you reach your breaking point. you seek comfort from Gareth, your second best friend. you figure out he’s got a crush, but you don’t know who, you were determined to figure it out though. but he was determined to keep his feelings for you locked away forever. but plans change, right?
too late masterlist - find next chapter there :)
Friday.
Friday, the day you planned on losing your virginity with Gareth.
Friday, a day you both wished moved a lot faster, and a day you dreaded.
You didn’t dread it in a bad way, not really. You were more so just… anxious. Really fucking anxious and desperate to properly please one another. And you both had no idea how to do that. Not really. Sure, Gareth had consumed his fair share of porn, but that was all planned out and over dramatic and very advanced. You were both sure as shit it was gonna be awkward, but you were prepared for that. It was new territory. Awkwardness was a given. You both just managed to get so trapped in your own heads with the thought of possibly disappointing the other, you were dreading it. But you were also so, so excited.
But Friday moved so slow.
You woke up pretty early with the nerves. You dressed yourself, had your breakfast, brushed your teeth, etcetera etcetera. But then you packed yourself a little overnight bag for Gareths tonight with the essentials. Toothbrush, spare change of underwear, a change of clothes for tomorrow, a fresh pair of socks, hairbrush, deodorant, perfume, makeup case, that green set you had brought months ago that Gareth still hadn’t seen. You didn’t need pyjamas because you were either sleeping naked or ending up in his clothes. The essentials. You grabbed that bag and your school bag and then bounced outside to your boyfriend's car with a nervous smile.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” He smiled back, cheeks pink and adorable, “That’s your stuff for tonight?”
“Mhm,” You nodded and tossed it into the backseat, “all set on my end.”
He laughed nervously, “Good.”
You turned the radio on, loading up one of his mixtapes, “Sleep okay?”
He nodded as he pulled back out onto the road, the air was a little tense, but that was expected, “Yeah, not too bad. Would have been better with you though.”
You smiled to yourself, settling back into your car seat, “Guess you’ll be sleeping real good tonight then.”
“Guaranteed, my love.”
“I like that one.” You smiled.
“What?” He glanced at you quickly.
“My love. I like the way it sounds when you call me it.”
“Oh.” He chuckled softly, “Well, my love, I’m glad you do.”
You drummed your fingers on your thighs softly, looking out at the houses passing by, “What time is your mum leaving tonight?”
“Not till after dinner.” He shrugged, “She was meant to head to his before, but he now has a work function or something. Whatever that could be for a middle school science teacher.”
You snorted at his comment, rolling your head over to look at him again, “He’s probably sitting in a last minute parent teacher interview, dealing with another lot of kids like us.”
He laughed, “Jesus. That poor man.” He shook his head, “I empathise with him, I really do.”
You giggled, “At least he’s got a good looking lady to go home too now.”
Gareth scoffed, “Yeah.”
“So, you started calling him daddy yet?” You teased.
He grimaced, scrunching his face up and giving you an evil glare, “Please never say such a thing again.”
You laughed, “No promises.”
“Okay, but jokes aside, I actually like him for my mum.”
“He’s sweet.” You nodded, “And she likes him a lot.”
“She really does.” He laughed, “Last night she was asking me for fashion advice for tonight. I have no idea which pyjamas she should wear to her boyfriend's house.”
You laughed.
“No kidding. And then she had the nerve to ask me what kind of pyjamas you wore when you sleep over.”
Your face turned red, “Oh lord. Does she not see me sporting your old gym shorts the next morning?”
He shrugged, “Apparently not.”
“Lord.”
—————————————————————————
The day went by slowly.
Really fucking slowly.
You made awkward eye contact with Eddie about three times, and it was three times too many. You were shocked he even showed up today. You half expected him to run off and sulk for another week or so. By the time you got back to Gareths, you had decided to get some weekend study done whilst Liz prepped dinner.
“No, it’s B.”
“What?” You scratched your head, leaning over the bed to look at Gareth's notebook on the floor, “Shit.”
He laughed, “It’s a confusing question.”
“Still.” You sighed, “I’ll be surprised if I pass this year.”
Gareth looked up at you and reached for your hand, “You will pass.”
You shrugged, “I haven’t got a single question right on this mock quiz yet.”
“You’ll get there, c’mon. I’ll help.”
You sighed again and chewed on the end of your pencil as Gareth started to read the next question out to you. There was a little knock at the door.
“Come in.” Gareth called out, looking at your page as you weighed out the answers, “Yeah… you got this.”
“A?” You furrowed your brow as Lizzie slipped into the room.
“Yes!” Gareth shouted and held his hand up for a high five.
You circled the answer and highfived him away, “Fucking finally.”
“Good job, darlin.” Lizzie smiled, and you both turned to her, “I just wanted your opinion on some things, Jovi?”
Gareth looked up at you with a little smirk, mouthing the word, ‘pyjamas’, and you giggled a little, “Course.”
She pulled her hands out from behind her back, two sets of pyjamas, as Gareth had predicted, “Which ones?”
“You really like this guy, don’t you?” You giggled, “Why are you so pressed about pjs? Your not even gonna be wearing them-”
“Ew!” Gareth slapped your arm, “That’s my mum!”
You laughed some more, “And your mother is coming to me for relationship advice, so either suck it up or leave the room.”
He groaned and Lizzie wiggled the clothes in her hands. You inspected the options for a moment.
“I thought the black satin set was nice, you know, shows elegance. But the grey ones are just so much more cosy.”
“Well…” You tipped your head, “Depends what you have planned for the night.”
Gareth grimaced again.
“But, you’ve been going out for like, a month or something now, right?”
“A little longer.” She nodded.
“I’d say go cosy. Show him you feel comfortable in his space and you can still be sexy and woo him in comfy, non sexy elegant clothes. Has that more domestic feel. It will drive him mad.”
Gareth scoffed, “How do you know it will drive him mad?”
“Drives all guys mad.” You smiled.
“I doubt that.”
You raised your eyebrows, “Truth.”
He squinted his eyes at you, disbelief behind them.
“No,” Lizzie chimed in, “what she’s saying is right I think. I just haven't really had to think about it for years, I was wondering what the dating scene is like these days.”
You giggled, “Trust me, guys that are looking for a relationship prefer the messy, cosy, nonchalant looks over the effort to look sexy all the time. Though… It is still appreciated. You know, when you toss it in every once in a while they go mad.” You glanced at Gareth subtly, “Like rabid dogs.”
He looked up at you before dropping his eyes back to his page.
“Thank you very much.” She nodded to you, “And, one more question.”
“Sure.” You smiled.
She bit her lip nervously, “Is one month still too early to say ‘I love you’?”
You and Gareth both gasped at her, he gave her a concerned glare, “You sure?”
She nodded, “I think he’s the one for me, Gar Bear.”
You clapped your hands together excitedly, “Absolutely it’s not. You should tell him tonight!”
“But I want to make it romantic.”
“It's better when it’s not too romantic.” Gareth sighed, turning his head back to his page where he continued to solve one of the equations in his notebook.
“Oh?” Lizzie quirked an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you.
He nodded, still concentrated on his notebook, “Yeah, just say it. Like you would any other time deeper into the relationship. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” He sighed, scribbling something down, “It’s nicer like that.”
You squinted your eyes at him and so did Lizzie.
“And you think this because…?” Lizzie shook her head slowly.
He still didn’t look up, too focused on the equation to help you solve it faster, “Yeah, when Jovi said it we were just lying in bed and it was normal and that’s what made it better. She knew I already loved her too, because I already told her before we started going out.” He sighed, “Most girls - well, in movies and stuff anyway - make a big deal out of saying it back. You know, flowers and candles or dinners and shit and they are like ‘oh I love you’, but it’s just a couple of words, and it’s nicer when it's just peaceful and it's just said. And you can just appreciate it.”
You smiled to yourself, playing with your pencil, a warmth spreading in your chest. Lizzie pressed her hand over her heart and pouted her lip, “Oh, that’s so sweet.”
He looked up now, staring disapprovingly at her, “You done now? Can I please help my girlfriend study?”
“Yes, yes, sorry.” She smiled, creeping back out of the room, “Dinner will be ready in about an hour, okay?”
“Thanks Liz!” You called out, and once she was gone, you nudged Gareth’s shoulder, “That was sweet.”
He looked up at you and shook his head, “What was?”
“What you said about our I love yous.” You bit your lip.
He sighed, tipping his head back to rest against the mattress he was leaning against to look at you better, “It’s true. I’m glad you didn’t make a big deal about it. Makes it more meaningful I think. And I’m glad you didn’t say it mid argument.”
You smiled, “I didn’t think it would be nice to attach the first time you heard it to an argument.”
“Fair enough.”
“Though, the first time I said it was in an argument.”
He furrowed his eyebrows, “What?”
“You know, just about everybody knew I loved you before you did.”
His jaw dropped comically low, “Come on.”
“Yup,” You grinned, “I think first I yelled it at Eddie when he was throwing himself at me. Then I told Chrissy at some point probably. I told Grant when I was looking for you after you hitched a ride with Wheeler, and Grant was getting his flirt on with some rando, and he probably told Jeff. And then I told your mum, and then you.”
“My mum knew before me?” He practically shouted.
You laughed, “Sorry!” You tapped your pencil lightly on the tip of his nose, “But I promise I said it to you the sweetest.”
“Good.” He smiled, “And, doubling back…”
“Yes?”
“What's that about guys going animalistic?”
You giggled, “Just something I read in a magazine.”
He nodded slowly, “Do you do that?”
You grinned, “What do you think?”
“No?” He raised an eyebrow, “You don’t do the cosy look, ever really… Do you?”
You just stared at him with a grin.
“But you're always so… hot?” He squinted his eyes at you.
“Is that a question?”
“No. I mean.” He cleared his throat and shrugged.
You sighed, “Okay, tell me if you think this is sexy or not.”
“Okay.” He nodded.
You sat up and took your shirt off, revealing a light blue cotton bralette with white polka dots on it.
“Sexy.” He was very quick to answer.
You giggled, “You think this is sexy?”
“Am I not supposed to?” He looked concerned.
“Well, it’s not a sexy piece of underwear. But it just proves my point. You still think I look great when I don't try at all because you're in it for me and for the relationship. Get me?”
“Ahh…”
You nodded, “If I were to wear this, say… on a first date with a guy on the basketball team, it wouldn’t land too well. You know? They're not looking for a commitment, they're looking for some fun… generally anyway. But you're looking for commitment, to one specific girl. Me. Ultimately, you're just really attracted to me and basically anything I do or wear is gonna appeal to you because you're only interested in pursuing me.” He nodded along slowly, and you smiled at him, continuing, “If I were to wear sexy underwear… like that black one-”
He smirked, “That was so fuckin hot.”
“See.” You smiled, “Like, it’s just normal hot. Normal sexy. But because you're that much more attracted to me, and don't see me in underwear like that, or even clothes like that, all the time, it’s just that much better when I do.”
“Oh.” He nodded, “Yeah, no. That makes a lot of sense. It’s like a little reward.”
You snickered, “Sure, if you wanna think of it like that.” You shrugged, “Guys like sexy underwear and pretty little dresses on a girl, boyfriends like cosy clothes and cotton panties because it’s equally as attractive-”
“Because we like you, not just your body.” He finished.
“Exactly.” You smiled, “So I told your mum to go with those because from my understanding this is not a special event tonight… other than her maybe confessing her love, but-”
“But, the cosies work because she won't be treating it like a big deal!” He grinned.
“Exactly.” You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair.
“We’ve really got this whole relationship thing figured out, baby.”
You giggled and leant down to kiss his forehead, “Yup.”
He went back to working, and so did you. Silence lingered in the air for a while, save the scratching of pens on paper and the faint sound of Black Sabbath playing in the background. He clicked his tongue in his cheek and looked up at you, and then he shook his head and looked back down at his book. He sighed, and then looked up at you again, letting his gaze linger. You sighed,
“If you're wondering if I bought those black lace undies to wear tonight, stop.” You looked at him, “I didn’t.”
He gave you a little smile, cheeks pink, “I- I wasn’t…”
“Hmm.” You nodded, turning back to your page, “Right.”
He sighed, “I don’t expect you too. But you just said… you said special occasions…” He played with his fingers, “Just… made me think about you wearing them.”
You grinned to yourself knowing damn well you had something better than that black set for him tonight, “Well, I’m flattered, really. But I didn’t bring them.”
“That's okay.” He smiled, and his words were genuine, “I like that blue one anyway.” He tapped his pen on your bra strap, “It’s cute.”
You shook your head a little, smiling, “I didn’t wear the matching undies.”
He giggled, “That makes it even cuter.” He reached up over the bed and pulled the waistline of your shorts to see what panties you did have on before snapping it back into place, “Green polka dots, very cute.”
“I try my best.” You smiled and then looked over to him, layering up your lies, “I just didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it already was.” man was he gonna be surprised tonight.
“Yeah.” He smiled softly, “That makes sense, I like that. I love you, Jovi, no matter what underwear you have on.”
You giggled, “Wow, you're really stepping up.”
“I know right?”
You shook your head with a little smirk, “I love you too, Gar Bear.”
