Apr 28
American you lost I'm SORRRRRRY you have to do bio diesel now and collect/repair abandoned or secondhand cars. Give up omg just let China do electric cars and take the L seriously
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American you lost I'm SORRRRRRY you have to do bio diesel now and collect/repair abandoned or secondhand cars. Give up omg just let China do electric cars and take the L seriously
i felt kinda vulnerable ever since moving some of my photos to my laptop only.. i have a really hard time not having everything on my phone. it makes me feel safe in a weird way like i can always have everything i need on me. but i want to be less phone addicted. i mean someday if it's even possible. im kinda recovering from hoarding right now in a way. cuz therapy helped me get to a point where i know I'm safe to exist in my own house with my own stuff and i didn't even know that was so hard, that all my internet and phone addiction, it makes me do safety behaviors like "only play games on your phone" "only listen to music on your phone", like nothing else is mine..growing up i had to look at a phone 24/7 to escape my real life and im becoming aware of that more than ive ever been.
I feel really sad because I feel like I failed and the failures kept adding up of every project I never committed to.. photos meant a lot to me. Something like this photo, i would try to categorize everyone i knew into it. who do i give gifts to etc. and if i felt any example is missing, id have to make a friend that say, lends books. filling out everyone i meet into this little picture. having to meet every metric on it. its one of the hardest things ive struggled with my whole life. maybe i dont know a person for every love language example on the list. do i need 4 friend groups? or do i need to complete each within 4 months? thats just one photo example. or maybe i will (SHOULD) write an essay on each one and how it impacted me, trained and programmed me. then i will be healed of every friend love language related trauma. i should need to complete it. and it hurts living like this
I said I don't know what the serving size of micro plastics IS YET. So I'd prefer to just limit it. Like what's my daily allotment? Is sterofoam a part of a balanced diet? But obviously it isn't inherently dangerous because humans have and continue to to live full lifetimes *already* ingesting micro plastics. So it's a real question to ask! Remember that micro plastics are an ungovernable exterior surface and that whatever is on them, cannot be cleaned. If I clean a plastic container, I disinfect it. If I clean myself, I don't disinfect my body. If inside me is such a small plastic unit, that I cannot disinfect it without disinfecting (harming) myself..then how do I clean it? What could it harbor? Which brings up microscopic mold species Micro plastics have the potential to reveal how small life could become, what the smallest source of harm or disease could be , that would be the cause of all suffering. You would need your reality verified by your micro plastic every day, are you really sick? If you were really sick prove to me on the microplastic you are sick. The microplastic doesn't show evidence you are sick. You didn't need to design it for that. You didn't design microplastics to be the microchip, because it wasn't an intelligence that caused us to suffer. It was a natural consequence of what we could not control. What we actually control (what is within our "intelligence") is relatively small. We just aren't in control like that sorry. So what if my microplastic doesn't show proof of me having "the soul atom", or "the true life cell"??? I t doesn't have to. It doesn't have to but believe me when I tell you I have a soul and stuff, because I do,because I know I do so it must be there.
ok be honest did you get a little hard when you watched those scenes in movies when the character is running away from some mortal threat in the form of machinery?like when it's a conveyor belt that occasionally stabs down at an interval. It felt so inevitable,that's how sexuality felt.i didn't start this system but I'm a participant in it.it wouldn't matter what I say because I didn't make the system. And it makes me feel like losing control. I could say I want to,but do I want it or am I just reacting biologically?am I deluding myself by saying I'm sexually attracted or interested,when it's something as against my will as going to piss or needing to drink water repeating?it feels so gross. that's why I like when people are attracted to masked violent menlike pyramid head 💀💀like you really want to fuck me??me??this feels as unnatural to my nature as you imagining yourself being murdered. Maybe you just do . Maybe you're comfortable with that. That's really good. Like I'm proud of you and I love that for you. Because unlike you, the one willingly dying to their own desire, I am far more insecure than that!! I am still scared!
I don't know what's wrong with me but I've bothered everyone I've ever tried to make friends with because I've been too mean. So I try to be very nice to people but sometimes it gets overwhelming and I feel burnt out on making sure I'm nice. Plus no one works that hard to speak to me nicely, people are rude and sarcastic. But when I loosen up a little and become sarcastic, I'm only seen as rude. Something in my attitude is told to change. Even when I'm not mad at all, I'm only being sarcastic, because I like to make people think I'm funny. But people with sarcastic senses of humor don't like people talking to them sarcastically. I am sad because I have apparently lost my ability for intuition since the incident. I don't know whether or not someone will be okay with something or what mood their in, the "time and place", or the limits of how far jokes are allowed to go. I don't think I'm a very loveable person to others which I think is a shame because I definitely do have a personality and there could be many things about me to enjoy in a fictional character or parasocial relationship. Am I going to continue upsetting people for the rest of my life? I hope not. I do care about making others happy and would almost always choose to do that. But it can become overwhelming and confusing. As much as I fantasize about being funny and liked, I don't think I'm quite cut out to be popular or friendly. I will learn skills that help me get through daily life more independently and this sometimes feels like the best I can hope for.
Taking care of ourselves is how we invest in the future. I think it's like "shh don't worry little human you're forgiven sure sure sure you're forgiven so go ahead and do good".. because oftentimes, people default to thinking that being good is only a response to make amends and not doing good for its own sake If humans were only good, we wouldn't have the emotional need to make amends (make amends for what?). But we do. So that implies that forgiveness is our prerequisite/necessary condition for goodness. The Internet/computers is a measurement of the state of the human collective consciousness. When that becomes capable of generating its own output rather than being for input, like generative ai, that means it ceases to be a good measure. It means you can't use it to check into the human consciousness easily. Do we need that? I think so. Is the internet the only way to do that? I think it has potential to be the best. That's why I like keeping it human. Like Campbell's law, like Thus, when tests become too predictable, teachers can effectively narrow their instruction to match the particular knowledge and skills that will appear on the test. Or worse, they can “coach” students to game the test even without firm mastery of the content. In such cases, the test isn’t really measuring what it was designed to assess. This is what it does to students I just think about how as a kid I would frequently see adults behaving badly but not have any adults to tell the adults on. It's scary, like, you can't have your parents protect you from your parents. So you feel powerless. I think that's what fear of abusing children comes from. That if you seemed too equal to them, the kid wouldn't ever feel safe "telling on you." We have to be more careful with how we talk to children -without being cruel, but also- so that they know no matter what I do they can tell on me if they feel they need to. I would hope if I had a kid, they would come to me and say, "you hurt me." Like you're right, I guess I did, and I'm sorry. I never heard that. No one wanted to apologize for their behavior and I couldn't hold adults accountable. It was infuriating.
Should we show only mercy for infants? What about teenagers? What about young adults, adults in hard times, adults with new disabilities, adults born with disabilities? Adults of different genders, of different cultures? The answer is not to stop "infantilizing", rather, change your judgement of how being treated like an infant should feel. You should not be ashamed to be treated like a baby, we should still treat babies with the utmost respect.We should all be infantilizing each other, all the time. I don't mean to not hold people accountable. By this I mean, believing in our inherent worth. A baby can "do nothing" for us, but we understand that an infant is worth protecting. You don't have to be a real baby to be useless, but being useless doesn't mean you aren't lovable. And you probably aren't as useless as you've been lead to believe. Sometimes I do need a real reminder that I do not, in fact, have to be totally responsible for preventing someone else from the consequences of their own actions (or natural consequences). Letting someone be a full participant for me can feel like a threat. I have my own internal bias that I won't be treated well, so if I "let you free", you'll only use it to hurt me... Learning to trust openly, that even if the world around me had the ability to destroy me (and it could), that I know within myself I can withstand and persist. That lets me let go of needing control. But I know that I'm like a computer, right. When my program (belief) says one thing, it either makes me feel good or bad. So I try to program it to believe in things that make me feel good. And think, wow, this wave of negativity isn't reality it's a glitch. I'm not actually worthless. I'm experiencing a glitch that said I'm worthless but that's like a computer virus not my programming.