#vision cooks

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #195

Despite the fact that the cans look remarkably similar, borlotti beans, unlike chickpeas, do not make a good addition to curry.

This has been a public service announcement

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #194: I have a new nemesis

The can opener in the common kitchen is out to get me.

Not unrelated, there’s diced tomato bits and juice all over the wall. And all over me.

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #i-completely-forget

I have advice: don't spice your soup with cloves. Apparently people like chili that numbs their face, but not cloves. Who knew?

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #192

Frying pan death toll, 2016: 4.

Admittedly, only three of them were me. One was used in hand-to-hand combat.

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #191

Generally, cakes require eggs. Unless they’re designed to be an eggless cake. Casually omitting the eggs: not a good idea.

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #190

Apparently not all roasting chickens come pre-gutted.

ASK ME HOW I KNOW.

Or ask the microwave in which a dead chicken shat its innards, that’ll do, too.

On the bright side, I do know who you should call if you have a chicken-guts crisis: @memecaptainsteverogers. Proficient at gutting and trussing, birds also has interesting ideas about what to do with the giblets.

[visionarymemes]

Apparently it was a thing in the 80s to host ‘bad taste’ parties.

I vote we revive it. Everyone wears something out of Mr Stank’s wardrobe, and I cook.

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #189

Yes, technically the twenty minutes between putting muffins in the oven and taking them out again is enough time to strip down and bathe*. But then you will be removing the muffins from the oven while damp, and soapy, and wearing only a towel.

*As previously established, this involves wipe-down with soap and water, and topical scrubbing, which is, as several people keep reminding me, the optimum regime for most single-user sex toys, unless you can put them - or me- in the dishwasher.