Culinary Genius

I'm learning to cook.

[memecaptainsteverogers]

I think they wish joy to the fishes less because they want the fishes specifically to be happy, and more trying to say they want everyone to be happy, from the top of the planet to the bottom, from the highest point to the lowest, and short of wishing joy to bees, there aren't very many things you can wish joy to that rhyme with 'me'.

Joy to the worldEvery boy and girlJoy to people who are nonbinaryJoy to each and every single treeJoy to almost all the different kinds of cheeseJoy to the monkeys and also the MonkeesJoy to dogs whether or not they have fleasJoy to bees when they pollinate peasJoy to you and me!

I’m gonna write a new song.

[visionarymemes]

Ask memecaptainsteverogers a question#shitmeme talk#steve is being a tiny bit of a troll#but also super inclusive!#totally replacing 'the fishes in the deep blue sea' with 'people who are nonbinary' in the future 

Oooh. Can we replace fish with nonbinary people in the idiom ‘plenty more fish in the sea?’

For instance: your friend has been dumped. You pat them and say “it’s okay. There’s plenty of nbies in the sea!”

[visionarymemes]

Happy Valentine's Day, Vision. You seem to be of honorable character. Even so, if you make Wanda distraught it is my duty as her Meme Father to make your life an agony to endure. - Loki

I solemnly promise not to ruin Wanda’s Valentines dinner by cooking anything whatsoever.

[visionarymemes]

happy valentine's day, vis. if you want to come down to the kitchen later, i'm cooking for everyone who doesn't have a date tonight. love, wanda

Count me in :) I solemnly promise not to try to help cook.

[visionarymemes]

A Message For Someone Who Knows Who They Are

Effective ways of cooling down recently-sterilized silicone materials:

Run under cold water

Place in fridge (much easier to do with your average sex toy than with me, but I did once get to hang out in an industrial cool room, that was pretty great)

Just put it aside and wait for it to cool down naturally (I mean. Maybe sterilize your toys the day before you intend to use them? Instead of half an hour?)

Not a particularly efficient method of cooling down silicone that has been recently immersed in boiling water:

Standing ceremoniously on the helipad in the middle of winter, holding your impressive purple silicone phallus before you, like a priest at the altar of modern science

Remember, if you need advice on the care and maintenance of your silicone accessories, you can always ask your friendly local synthesoid.

[visionarymemes]

On Valentines Day

Some synthesoids are red*,

Cap’s suit is blue,

I don’t really understand this ritual,

But I like all of you.

(*Only some. I wouldn’t want to generalise my experience to others.)

[visionarymemes]

Conversation types not to confuse:

Aspec discussions, pertaining to persons identifying as asexual.

Aspic discussions, pertaining to the Captain’s cooking.

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #195

Despite the fact that the cans look remarkably similar, borlotti beans, unlike chickpeas, do not make a good addition to curry.

This has been a public service announcement

[visionarymemes]

What kind of race is never run?

A swimming race.

Also a bicycle race, a motorbike race, a car race, a sled race, a boat race, and many other kinds of races.

And that’s before you get into the additional connotation of ‘race’ as an sociological-ethnological construct.

[visionarymemes]

Why did Mr Stank fall asleep under his car?

He wanted to get up oily in the morning.

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #194: I have a new nemesis

The can opener in the common kitchen is out to get me.

Not unrelated, there’s diced tomato bits and juice all over the wall. And all over me.

[visionarymemes]

How much room do funghi need to grow?

As mushroom as possible

[visionarymemes]

Why do cats make good policemen?

They really care about claw enforcement.

[visionarymemes]

If you’re wondering where I’ve been lately

Someone introduced me to the ice skating anime.

I may resurface by Christmas.

[visionarymemes]

Cooking Diary #i-completely-forget

I have advice: don't spice your soup with cloves. Apparently people like chili that numbs their face, but not cloves. Who knew?

[scarletmemewitch]

I feel like I should take my dad and brother out for a normal family day

any suggestions, @magmemeto, @pietromemeimoff?

[pietromemeimoff]

LASER TAG

[scarletmemewitch]

that is so not fair pietro!

[visionarymemes]

You need even numbers for laser tag. Want some help, Wanda?

[visionarymemes]

Can you start fires using the mindstone? I imagine that could come in handy while camping.

You’re asking the wrong question. The question is: can I start small containable fires. And the answer would seem to be: no.

[visionarymemes]

Do you have a sense of smell?

That’s a difficult question. I have olfactory senses, so I can detect changes in the environment- like fire or oil spills. I can smell all sorts of things, and many of them smell very nice to me. The Captain's cupcakes smell amazing, for instance. On the other hand, not everything that smells good to me turns out to taste good to people who have a sense of taste. Apparently most perfumes taste terrible- you can flavour a cake with rose water but not with eau de toilette en rose. Meanwhile Durian smells terrible but tastes great, or so I'm told.