So, I was in a two-hour bus ride going to the city. Had my playlist shuffled, and this one song turned up. And just like that, I remembered everything. How it felt when he said “let me go”. It shook me, like it did the first time. My insides felt this familiar feeling of wanting to burst and blow up. Everything came back in like a bucket of cold water splashed on my face.
I remembered it all.
The unsmoked cigarettes lying on my sink, bottles of beer, emptied, lined-up at the foot of my bed. The cold showers, that took an hour longer. The photos of him, holding her, dearly, like she was his world. And she was.. clearly.
It came back running to me, and I openly embraced it.
And I was once again shattered, in every possible pieces, like it all just happened moments ago.
But I still,
did not
delete the song.
