Dec 17, 2025
I have no memory of my dreams anymore, and I have always had wildly vivid and often symbolic dreams. One of my therapists even said they could write a book based on my dreams. I know i do still dream by the way i feel in the morning or whenever i wake up. It started in the summertime and nothing i seem to do or pray is helping get them back. I was already suffering from writers block, but this has killed the last of my creativity, like I can't access the most important parts of how I process stuff.
My ears keep ringing when I wake up, there's so much noise but no substance and it's honestly breaking my heart, like actual fucking grief which sounds dramatic I know. I'm not losing myself i just access it.
#ignore me just thinking out loud#267#I'm sleeping more than i have in years#and i know i am dreaming important#vivid things#907#and I need to remember them#it feels deliberate like I'm being punished#i know I'm supposed to be writing like it's my purpose for being here#but god obvs doesn't care or this wouldn't be an issue#3854#my birthday is in like 3 days and i don't even care#i just want access to my mind and memories and dreams but that is too much to ask apparently