#vivisectme

[vivisected4fun]

i think my ex should k himself tbh

dude is the saddest excuse of a narc

same shit, diff day, never changing. and im supposed to stay scared? please.

[vivisected4fun]

Prideful Reminders

Vivi is; Bi-ro/sexual = Idgaf what you were born with, transitioned to or how much, how you dress, if your identity changes, etc. If I wanna fuck/date you, c'mere boo Demi-ro/sexual = I spent a long, LONG time debating this one. But its true. Despite kink and BPD making strange interesting to me, I have boundaries; if I'm engaging in stranger interactions, I won't engage again and IDGAF about you lolol. If you want regular interaction, I need more data. Befriend me for like 2 weeks and I'll make it clear if your genitals/etc are on my table. Nonbinary/Genderfae (Demiwoman) = I have a uterus, and I have been pregnant. These are also the least interesting things about me, immediately followed by my weight lol. I recently learned the term Genderfae, which is aligning w most identities except masculine/male ones; all femme and in-between identities are fine. Which is how I've been describing my Demiwoman status anyway. I love being a woman and female, and do not hate my childhood (for those reasons, anyway). I have always aligned w some more traditional roles women have had; but never as a requirement, it was always MY choice. I cross that boundary with social cues, activities and chores, etc. Nothing is gendered to me outside of how society views it. Demystifying gender has led to so much stress relief. Solo Poly/Personally Monogamous = this one is confusing moreso for others. I am practicing solo polyamory while single; but I am not likely to join another polycule. My life has been spent being traumatized by maintaining illogical and impossible relationship dynamics; often based on minimizing my needs/wants/entire person, as well as receiving confusing social cues on how to behave/treat other people bc each abuser wanted to be the sole abuser of me. I cannot and will not engage in full polyamory bc I cannot maintain that level of trust with more than a few people. Once I "return" to monogamy, I would like to continue swinging and do couples play; but together, to mitigate and manage the disruptive paranoia and distress as a team. How do I engage in my gender/sexuality? I incorporate it into my daily rituals- dressing, makeup, even undergarments help me do so. The way I groom my facial hair facilitates thicker sideburns, bc I love the mutton chop style for my face; and it's easily shaved if I am not loving it or want a more femme face. I no longer perform hairlessness, more so out of commitment to becoming more animalistic in my humanity, but also to not engage in the beauty community as demanded by the Capitalist Pigs. I add accessories and buy clothes from every section in the store (except the kids aisles) (also thrift is life), and make my own. I am a they/she/fae kinda human! I don't like being called girl (that's more bc i'm over 30), lady, and woman (by anyone whos not my partner). Referring to me as sir is fine. I prefer the Mx. use for my name, especially being divorced. As I rebuild my communities, I'm exploring more of the monikers I approve and disapprove of. Let's see how that develops over the next year! Remember who we have lost in the fight to be these things, and to be ourselves. Our elders died in prisons, in hospital beds, on the streets, and at the hands of violent police and misinformed bigots. We still do, in some places. The Bourgeoise spent our blood and try to win it back for pennies, then remove their Pride collections when fascist leaders try to revoke our humanity. We have always, ALWAYS existed. And we always will, regardless of bigotry and history revisions, regardless of puritanical Protestant views, and regardless of unearned hatred built on the back of fear and socio-econo-political bullshit.

To my siblings who are unable to be out, this is your big sister saying I see you. I love you for being queer despite the fear, despite not being able to be safe enough to be out. Your experience mirrors mine and so many others, so many of our elders. I offer you a virtual hug, and I hope in your darkest moments you can remember; your big sister is rooting for you and sees you in every moment, dark or light, passing or hiding, out or closeted; But I cannot wait to see you shine, sibling. I cannot wait for us to all shine together. I love you. Be gay, do crimes, stay safe, and FTMF.

HAPPY PRIDE!

[vivisected4fun]

I can tell I'm ovulating, the hands free virus has hit 😩

[vivisected4fun]

Yo if your blog involves lesbians or other queer folks engaging in straight behavior, and they're not of a multi-sexuality (bi/pan/omni/etc) you can gtfo

I'm a mlw and wlw, it's a fetish/kink I abhor. We get told we're taking it and it's a phase all the time. Fetishizing our dysphoria and trauma is homophobic and you cannot support our communities getting hard to the idea of our lesbian sisters getting off to cock they are very unable to enjoy.

Idc if it's a fantasy, so are disability and race related fetishes/kinks. And they're gross too.

[vivisected4fun]

Having a rough one lads, the ex is being a typical ex ("no baby pls take me back I'll be better this time 🥺" x1000 + 15 lurking accts)

My mood is hella low and idk if I can be in a Vivi headspace for a few days. It's honestly upsetting bc I have loved seeing new moots pop up and I wanna engage w y'all

I will be here if I can be. Love y'all be safe do crimes 💜

[vivisected4fun]

Oh how I love being soft and monstrous

Romantic and eldritch

Nurturer and murderer

I was both changed by my pain and untouched

Feral and gnawing and gnashing

Quiet and patient and sweet

I submit and dominate

I am both a mirror and it's reflection

Deviance and innocent

Nothing lost. Just transformed.

[vivisected4fun]

I haven't had sex since April (maybe March) and I may be touch starved, but I am not so lonely or needy that I will accept crumbs from an abuser.

I will wait, I will realign with my pleasures and relearn my body, I will be so much more deeply in touch with myself that another's touch will be but a compliment to the way I touch myself.

I will have no love, no sex, that comes at cost. It will be collaboration or it will not occur.