#vld.text

[speakswords]

Lance: (glaring at Keith)

Keith: (glaring at Lance)

Clock: *ticks slowly*

[Allura enters the rec room]

Allura: oh hello, team, there you are. I... (noticing Keith and Lance's death staring match) ...Is everything alright?

Hunk: oh yeah we're good. the vibes in here are great. Definitely not weird or oppressive or loudly homoero- OW

Pidge: (elbowing hunk)

Shiro: (turning a page of his space newspaper) Lance insulted Keith's eyes so I told him he wasn't leaving this room until he said three nice things about keith's eyes.

Pidge: and then Lance said "I'll find three nice things to stab into his eyes"

Lance: tattletale!

Hunk: and then Keith said he would rather eat his lion than listen to lance attempt to compliment him anyways, and that he gets enough secondhand embarrassment listening to Lance compliment the eyes of every alien that walks by-

Pidge: which was weirdly specific-

Keith: this is agonizing enough without the live replay! thanks!

Shiro: careful Keith that was almost an insult. I'll make you start over again

Lance: NO. NO IT WASNT AN INSULT WE DONT HAVE TO START OVER. AGHHGHG ARE WE ALMOST DONE YET??

Shiro: no. Fourteen and a half more minutes.

Lance: NO WAY I SWEAR ITS BEEN LONGER THAN 5 AND A HALF MINUTES

Allura: what are you DOING exactly??

Hunk: they're on timeout and have to maintain unwavering eye contact for twenty minutes or else shiro is gonna reveal a secret each of them has told him at one point

Shiro: 🙂📰 correct!

Allura: .........

Pidge: and ohh boy these secrets must be JUICY. Look at their concentration. It's fascinating. I think they're sweating

Lance & Keith: shut UP pidge!

Hunk: anyway allura, what did you come to find us for? What's up?

Allura: (brightly) oh! That. We are under attack.

*sirens begin blaring*

[speakswords]

Hunk: Okay, truth or dare? :)

Keith: Dare.

Lance: It's not your turn, Keith. It's Allura's turn.

Keith: (pouting) Oh.

Hunk: Allura, truth or-

Allura: Dare. I dare you to give Keith a dare!

Hunk: No, that's not- I'm supposed to say the-

Pidge: Keith, Hunk dares you to fill Lance's pants with food goo.

Keith: On it.

Lance: But it's not even his-

Keith: *cracks knuckles*

Lance: *panicked scrambling*

Keith: *RUNS*

Lance: [HIGH PITCHED SCREAMING]

Allura: :) Ok so, did I win the game?

Hunk: Uh....

Shiro, from across the room: Yes. Yes, Allura wins, the game is concluded. Good job Allura. Hit the showers everyone.

Coran: Wonderful! Does this mean I can come down from the ceiling now?

Hunk: Coran no one even dared you to go up there

[speakswords]

Alien: (blushing) (lance just rescued her) so... are you busy later?

Lance: I'm NEVER busy baby

Keith: (over the comms) you're busy getting SHOT at LITERALLY RIGHT NOW

Keith: (blasts the enemy out of the way before the blue lion collides with it)

Enemy ship: (goes down)

Lance: ...and would you look at that! I'm free again. Drinks?

[speakswords]

Post battle scene on random planet

Citizen #1: wow that was so amazing thank you for saving us paladins

Citizen #2: yes and I'm so glad you escaped that ambush, blue paladin. I didn't think you'd make it, it was so narrow but you sailed through the closing gap like it was nothing

Lance: (blushing, doesn't know how to deal with real genuine praise) haha it looked more dramatic than it was, it was no big deal...

Keith: hes just playing it off because he's been doing it forever. They called him the tailor at school bc he was always doing that. The narrow fit thing. He's good at that

Citizen #2: a tailor? One who sews by profession?

Keith: pointedly mimics needle and thread motion

Citizen #1: OH! I get it! He threads a needle with his lion!

Lance: ..... 😳 UH...

Pidge, whispering to Hunk: wait, did anyone ever actually call lance that? I thought he just SAID people called him that in the hopes it would catch on

Hunk: I guess it caught on with at least one person then. I don't know, I'm flabbergasted right now

Coran: writes down the word "flabbergasted" in a notebook titled "weird earth words"

[speakswords]

Picture lance saying "yeah you hate that don't you" 😏 while annoying Keith in the same inflection one might say (in a flirty way) "yeah you like that don't you"

[speakswords]

Ok now we're getting serious. This is the most important poll I've put out there. Here we go. Are you ready to make this decision?

who has the best hair on team v. like ok imagine they went to a hair planet and the citizens rejoiced and crowned one of them their supreme ruler. who would that happen to

pidge

keith

lance

hunk

shiro

allura

coran

Voting ended onSep 3, 2023

[speakswords]

no but my real botw au is resurfacing in my brain 🥺👉👈 I know botw kl au has been done by a few ppl but I'm soft for my version. Keith is the champion and lance is the prince. Pre-war, Keith is chosen as the champion and assigned to protect Lance, and the rivalry is intense. Then they both end up in stasis for 100 yrs while the divine beasts are the ones sealing in Ganon (or the au equivalent lol), and when they wake up, Keith has amnesia and Lance doesn't. Cue Lance trying to convince Keith that he needs his help while not even wanting his help bc he wants to prove himself, and Keith struggling with the fact that this hot asshole who seems to hate him also won't stop following him around and knows him better than he knows himself. That's the core premise

[speakswords]

Lance: *holds scissors behind Keith's head and snips them harmlessly in the air*

Hunk: *pre-scripted shocked gasp* 😮

Keith: (of course thinking lance just cut his hair) LANCE WHAT THE FUCK!!

Lance: *runs away laughing*

Keith: *vaults over back of couch and sprints after him*

Pidge, who orchestrated this whole thing because she wanted Keith's spot on the couch so she could plug in her laptop): THANKS LANCE

Shiro: he didn't.. REALLY cut Keith's hair... Did he?

Pidge: *shrugs*

Allura, who wants Shiro's chair: *eyes the scissor*