#voiceandvisibility

[digitaldesertliving]

Same voice.

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

Different space.

Photo by Shutter Speed on Unsplash

Different impact.

Photo by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash

Different platform, different personality. It’s like outfit changes but for your online identity. What gets likes here, gets ignored there. What feels like support in one place, can feel like isolation in another.

Your voice... who sees it? who hears it? is it you or the platform?

[firewarning]

Why I Threw Food on a Man in Public Yesterday

So I lost my shit in a big way in public yesterday.

It’s gorgeous and sunny and I’m sitting outside of a natural food store that I love, eating a nearly perfect veggie sandwich and reading Tribes by Seth Godin.

This big truck that's preparing to parallel park catches my attention. Suddenly this smaller car pulls into the truck's parking space. The truck driver, a woman, gets out the car and tells the guy he's 'shiesty.' I saw the whole thing. It was definitely a shiesty move.

So I guess he decides to leave her parking spot, but not without first shouting "fuck you bitch" and a bunch of other harassing and vulgar language at her.

But the problem intensifies when he just sits there in the car where she can't move her car to park, and just goes on and on and on and on calling her names while she's doing nothing. To me, it looks like bullying, harassment, and I know he would NOT be doing this with a man.

Totally pissed off and filled with the idea to shut him down, I get up, rush over to his driver seat window that's open and shout at him to go and get out of here. So of course he starts in on me. "You fucking bitch. You don't come over here telling me to leave." And blah blah blah.

I'm shouting back at him "Fuck you, you go, get out of here. You don't talk to people like that."

He's telling me don't make him get out the car. I tell him to get his punk ass out of the car. He acts like he's gonna get out of the car, but he never does. By this time traffic is being held up because I'm standing in the middle of the street shouting at him, and he's in his car in the middle of the street shouting at me.

I hear security "ma'am ma'am ma'am" He keeps shouting. I'd already decided I was only going to strike him with my hands if he hit me first. So instead, I took some of my sandwich out of my mouth and threw it into his face.

I'm guessing it hit him because he immediately drove off. Done.

I went back to my chair and began reading again like nothing ever happened.

When I retraced how the hell did that all happen, and how was I moved so strongly and swiftly, and out of control, I realized a deep part of me was touched.

When I saw him going after her verbally and I saw her just standing there, alone, shrinking, and not speaking up for herself, it shot straight to the part of me that was bullied as a girl, and jumped by groups of girls in middle and high school, and abused and overpowered by men, and was afraid to speak up for myself. It all happened in seconds.

It showed me in a new and raw way how much of a real stand I take against anyone attacking, silencing, or doing anything to make another person feel small. I didn't even consider my own safety in the situation.

And on the flip side to that, it's why I have such conviction around helping women heal, and cultivate their voice, their presence, and their power.

If you’re a woman leader with a rebel spirit and you want to become more unapologetically vocal and visible in your work and in your life, you should strongly consider the Voice & Visibility Weekend Intensive happening in Fort Lauderdale June 27th & 28th. It’s a deep game-changer.  Click here for details. 

If you want to be kept abreast of upcoming events, classes, and coaching around healing sex shame, becoming a more vocal and visible leader, cultivating powerful life and stage presence, and becoming free, send me your contact info by clicking here. 

[firewarning]

Why It’s So Damn Hard to Get to Know Who You Really Are as a Leader

It's really hard to get to know who you are when the people around you can only see you and be with you in one way. Or when you're afraid of being judged or not loved.

Meaning, if I behave or express in any way that's outside of how you're used to me behaving or expressing, suddenly you don't know how to be with me. And when you don't know how to be with me, and you're uncomfortable because how I'm being might be triggering how you won't allow yourself to be, usually one of two things happens:

1. You shame me in some way, try to silence me, or ridicule me because you don't know how to meet me where I am

2. You have to admit that you're having a hard time being with me, which means you would have to be vulnerable, and so many of us are not willing to do that

So then the question is, if you're someone who's hungry to go deeper, and dissolve pride and ego, and expand beyond your five senses, and have a greater impact with being who you are, how do you do that when there's no one in your close community with the capacity to go there with you? To be the well qualified witness for you in the midst of the refinement that all leaders must go through? To bring you back after you've lost it?

This might be a good time to consider participating in Freedom Talks happening Oakland, CA next month. Details here: http://iTeleseminar.com/88444848

Not in the Bay Area? Click here to see other options available to help you become more of the leader you’re meant to be.