@finesthex took inspiration from this & said : ❛ do you even feel anything ? ❜
❛ feel anything---- ? you wanna know if i feel anything ? well , 𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔠𝔨 , if you really must know , let me tell you what it is exactly that i feel . ’ & her name on his tongue is bitter . the bile in the back of his throat tastes ever so horrid & as fingers tremble , eyes grow wide with the imagery of his guts splayed fresh against hardwood floors . is it finally , in a fit of 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄 that he rips himself open for her ? is it finally , in a 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐑 that he unfolds his insides for an open viewing ? flared are his nostrils , chest heaving heavily as an unfamiliar chemical courses through him--- a poison , a venom that he can’t quite comprehend . it was fear . lock , in all his time , had experienced fear in every aspect , he’d grasped the concept in it’s entirety-- lived in it , enveloped himself in it , enraptured himself in it . but this fear--- fear of 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞--- was all to alien .
❛ you wanna know what i feel , shock ? well , 𝐢 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 . i feel broken . i feel bitter & cold & every time i breathe my entire body feels like it’s breaking with it . my bones ache with a pain that pierces so sharply it feels like i can’t even breathe . --- but do you wanna know the worst part of it all , shock ? do you wanna fucking know ? ’ still , does her name leave a sour taste in his mouth--- frigid & frozen & fervid is he--- 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 & beyond repair . ❛ the worst part about it is that the only time i don’t feel the pain--- or the only time the pain it put on a temporary hold--- is when 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 . ’ heart twists in his chest & as anxiety heightens , so does the rate of his rapidly heaving torso . ❛ you make me feel warm . it’s like--- you’re in control of me . when you touch me , shock , tender or not , the emptiness , the aching , the cold--- it all goes away . you make me feel--- you ignite something in me . & that fucking scared me 𝔱𝔬 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 . so , yeah . i feel . but i really wish i fucking didn’t . ’