tug on my hat, sharp and cold wind piercing my eyes, stabbing them harshly. my eyes water. a gorgeous woman with long black hair and black bangs walks past. she has a gorgeous monochromatic outfit that matches her hair, colorwise and vibewise. little black mary jane heels adorn her feet. how i wish to be her. i know i dont know her pain but i’ve just caught a glimpse of her beauty and i want to know more.
the tears welling in my eyes from the cold remind me of the attack i’d had earlier. surely it was just overstimulation from the restaurant, the cramped restaurant’s attendees’ conversations overlapping in your mind, that had caused you to act out. surely it wasn’t the desire to be comforted. to truly be the center of attention, if only for a day. to be cherished to be worshiped to be gently touched, not for any other reason than to care. to love. perhaps it was the sleepiness that brought out this childishness. oh how i just yearn to be held with love. i know i am loved, but my inner self knew exactly how i wanted to be loved. screaming for someone to do so, albeit silent the message was loud. surrounded by so much, tall buildings, chatter, people, friends, family, i still manage to feel so lonely