I want you to come home already. My friends say they've seen how well it seems I've been taking you being away and in all honesty, I have. Better than the previous time you were away. Three weeks is obviously not that long but being away from your best friend that long is pretty agonizing as each week passes. I try to hide my feelings as best I can though and maybe part of my binge eating was because I had no appetite with you not being around. I mean majority of the time we would eat out together or you would make me something at your house and I would crave for food, but you being gone and me being somewhat busy too, yeah, with grad stuff makes me not care as much if I eat. It was honestly scary though, the cold shiver I felt from my insides, how weak and lightheaded I got.. I felt like how I felt the day I quit my last job. Felt like I needed to be sent to the ER because of how cold and pale I seemed. That was the one day that in a whole year, I felt I did not care about myself or how much love I would put into myself. Not saying a boy could do that much damage to me him being gone for 3 weeks, but the fact I just didn't care for that one day. Did that stop me though? No. I picked myself right up the next morning and told myself to love myself. No one could love me more than myself and that's the damn truth. I would just like my best friend home already so I could have that support. Not love me in a way that I forget to love myself. Don't misinterpret. I just want him home. And I need to learn how to self-care and self-love for my own well-being.