Zarvis Ursan, above, is my tiefling. They are non-binary, androgynous warlock, their patron is an archfey, and have a pseudodragon for a familiar.
So, this d&d party consists of Zarvis and their twin brother Zioris, and their older brother Vale (an aasimar - that’s uh, complicated). Vale is a lot of brawn, but isn’t smart, and Zarvis enjoys enabling him. For instance, Vale thought it would be a good idea to bring the dead ogre back to our village to impress a girl. Zarvis told him he should remove the teeth and make her a necklace - which he promptly did. Then never gave it to her.
The other half of our group is another sibling cluster-fuck (drow/dragon druid, half elf bard, and wood elf ranger-it’s also, uhm, complicated). The ogre that attacked our village was driven by a wizard, and on this wizard, Zarvis found a number of magical items and took them back to our guardian to have identified. One of those items was the Wand of Smiles, which Skaldi, the half elf bard, coveted. Like... obsessively.
Our group, the six of us (actually 7 but the paladin has missed both times due to irl stuff), have been sent out into the world by our guardian, so Zarvis, as warlock of the group, took on the responsibility of all the magical items. Including the wand.
Like, we run this group of characters about every 6 weeks, so on discord, he would mention the wand. It became a running joke. Zarvis had previously told Skaldi that when they reached a major city, he would get the wand. Mostly because Zarvis does not want that wand pointed at themself, or the others, so once they get to a big city, then Skaldi has a city of victims, erm, new friends, to use it on.
I don’t know if I can convey just how funny this next part is, but I was literally wheezing. So, day two of our group’s travels down the road, and still no city, so Zarvis still has the wand.
Zarvis went off into the forest, found a lake and went swimming with his familiar before returning back with wood for the fire. Zioris and Vale set up camp. Skaldi kind of sort of helped. But spent more time on his lute.
Nesmyse, the druid, and her older sister, Lanorial, the ranger, circled the perimeter looking for wild game, while conspiring to steal the wand to give to their brother because they are both tired of him obsessing over it. -- And he does, Skaldi is nonstop about it. lol -- They decide they will do it that night while on watch, when everyone else is sleeping.
Zarvis and Skaldi take first watch and he is blessedly silent about the wand. Half way through Nesmyse and Lanorial’s watch, Nesmyse turns into a Bombay cat and sneaks into the tent with Zarvis and their brothers.
She manages to successfully sneak in ok, but she fails to locate the right pack. She couldn’t sniff out the right one and just kind of picks one (roll of the dice). She manages to get into Zioris’s pack without waking up the brothers, but half her kitty body is stuffed into the bag when she realizes she has the wrong bag. She fails to silently back out of the bag, and wakes up the brothers.
Zarvis thinks its Puck and tells it to settle down. Zioris is a rogue, so he’s a little more aware of what is happening, he succeeds in grabbing the cat by the scruff of its neck. She tries to wiggle free without scratching him, so she is just a wiggle butt. Wiggle wiggle. She fails to get free.
Lanorial fails to realize that the stealth job has gone horribly wrong. Looking up at the stars, oblivious? Who knows.
By this point, Zarvis and Vale are very much awake and the commotion (”a cat?!” “What the hell is a cat doing in our tent?” etc) has successfully alerted Skaldi, who stumbles out of his tent bewildered just as Zioris comes out of our tent with this cat.
Vale wants to pet the kitty. “Can I pet it? Is it soft?”
Zarvis observes that the cat doesn’t look wild, and looks like someone’s pampered pet. “It’s a warlock’s familiar! There is a warlock nearby! Or maybe a farm?”
Zioris releases the cat at the edge of camp, and promptly goes back to the tent to get more sleep. He’s like, fuck this, and goes back to his bedroll.
Zarvis and Vale, however, are ready to follow the cat to it’s master.
Nesmyse transforms back to her broody self.
Vale is flabbergasted because he’s never seen her shift into anything else but a wolf, it never occurred to him she could be a cat.
Zarvis plays it off, “Oh, a druid... well,.. I was close.”
Nesmyse and Zarvis have an awkward conversation, she admits her plans but she’ll never do it again. Zarvis tells her she could have just come to him and talked to him. He told her he did plan to give the wand to Skaldi and the reason he was holding on to it. She appreciated the answer, but failed to discern if Zarvis was being truthful.
