Whiskey Bent and Hellbound
It seemed no matter what he did, it was going to be wrong. This was why he’d wanted to avoid this in the first place. If he’d told Anthony to leave, he’d have been a jerk, but clearly asking him to stay when Tony knew James was lying was wrong too. He just couldn’t win tonight so what was the point in even trying? James was trying to be a decent guy and a good friend, that’s how he always was with Tony. So why did it feel like he was just being a colossal jerk? Maybe coming over tonight had been a mistake, maybe he should have left his friend to keep drinking and just gone home, at least then he wouldn’t be stuck in this uncomfortable and awkward situation.
James tried to forget that Tony was there and get back to sleep, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the half naked man that was lying next to him. James didn’t know why he was having these thoughts, he and Tony were just friends, they had been since their time in MIT, and that’s all they were ever going to be. James had met Tony years ago, he’d watched his friend grow from the genius and inventive kid he’d once been, to the playboy philanthropist and then into a hero. James had seen so many sides to Tony and despite everything he’d been through, the two of them had always stayed by each other’s sides. Of course things hadn’t always been smooth, there had been times when Tony had pissed him off or wound him up, but James had always forgiven him, because even when Tony was being an ass, James knew he was still a decent guy.
James was one of the few people who knew Tony the most, he knew when Tony was being a jerk, it was usually because he was deflecting his pain. It was just how he coped with things given everything he’d been through. James admired Tony in so many ways for how he kept standing back up and fighting after each time he fell down. Tony was a fighter and a survivor, and James had a lot of respect for him. But that was as far as it could go, James couldn’t act on these feelings he was starting to have. It wasn’t right. It would ruin their friendship and change everything. Besides, he doubted Tony would feel the same.
"There’s no problem Tony. You’re overreacting because your drunk." It was a lame excuse, they’d both know it. But what else was he supposed to say? That he liked Tony? That he was uncomfortable because he’d started to develop feelings for him? Tony wouldn’t believe him, and even if he did it would make the situation ever more awkward. "Seriously Tony, I was just shocked before. You’re not wrong…it’s fine." Putting a hand on his cheek to reassure Tony, he leant closer to him and smiled softly, his lips subtly pressing together as he imagined what Tony’s lips would taste like. "Just go back to sleep."
He was drunk and James was right. He was overreacting, over-thinking and over analysing every action, every move and thought that crossed his mind and eyes. But when James leaned in towards him and pressed his hand to his cheek he felt his body shudder and then grow warm beneath the others touch. He was drunk, that was what he kept trying to tell himself. But those brown eyes still didn't falter or even threaten to break the gaze he had on his best friend. He wanted to kiss him but he knew it would be a mistake, not because he didn't want to and because he'd wake up and regret it, he wouldn't in that sense that he'd done it because it was what he'd wanted. But because he knew James wouldn't want it and he knew that he'd think it was just a rebound after Pepper. That was why he shouldn't.
Truth be told Tony wasn't just like this because of Pepper. His problems and issues had piled up into mountains one stack upon another before Pepper had left but once she had he'd lost that support that he needed to get through the day, to sleep, to eat properly and to have someone on his back telling him what to do and when. James did that but he wasn't always around. To kiss him would make him think that he was just a replacement. Another notch on Tony's bedpost when there were so many already.
But in his intoxicated state James' warm breath spreading against his lips was too much. He only had some control over his own actions but the part he didn't was far more overpowering than anything else. "Just over-thinking everything... thats all." After that Tony lost all control of what he was doing, the string tying his drunk state and his sensible thoughts snapped. He leaned forward closing the distance between them and pressed his mouth to his best friends. His hand raised and he cupped the back of his neck, body shifting closer towards him.