The True Story of Beauty and the Beast (Sorry)
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
Prince: "Hey, someone get the door!"
Cogsworth: "Oh, can we help you?"
Ugly old woman: "Hey... *VOMIT* Can I come in? It's cold and I... *VOMIT* ...yeah..."
Cogsworth: "... This woman is drunk. Let me get the Prince."
Prince: "What's up?"
Ugly old woman: "HEY! ... I wanna... *VOMITS ON SELF AND ALL OVER THE STEPS* ... stay the night? I'll... I'll give you this pretty rose!"
Prince: "Um... No... My servants work hard to keep this place clean! I mean, if you can find the stable, I didn't see it, help yourself."
Ugly old woman: "HEY! Y'know... *VOMIT* Don't be deceived by appearances! Beauty is found within!"
Princce: "It's not the appearance. It's the smell."
*UGLY OLD WOMAN TURNS INTO BEAUTIFUL ENCHANTRESS. SHE'S STILL DRUNK AS HELL.*
Enchantress: "THAT'S IT! *VOMIT* YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? YOU'RE GOING TO BE A BEAST! AND WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO THE SERVANTS IS BEYOND FUCKED UP!!!"
*She vomits again.*
Cogsworth: "I don't think we could have won here..."