#wastelandmind

[prawns-are-cannibals]

there are birds chirping outside and the sun has risen and it's morning and i literally spent from 1am until 5:30am reworking my theme. what the actual fuck *faints*

Yeah, but your theme looks great! Get some sleep if you can!!

[oswwinoswald]

"Near My Goal" promo part 3/4

wastelandmind

arrylocked

stripedbumblebee

avengeturds

pinenutbutter

[kirythestitchwitch]

here's the story: fuck your shit, woman.

Charmer, i know i'm not your type~

[kirythestitchwitch]

you want a story? it'll be a little shorter.

Oh my gosh yes i love stories! :D

[kirythestitchwitch]

tell me a story

So once upon a time i used to date someone in your neck of the woods. This much have been uhm, 2005. And i had a friend that used to live in Oakland but she had moved back where i was. But she needed to go back there to sort out some things so i was like, "LET'S HAVE A ROAD TRIP THREE DAYS BEFORE THE COLLEGE SEMESTER STARTS THIS WILL BE AWESOME." And she was like, "OKAY!" I'd never taken a road trip before and she really needed to go, so we thought this was an excellent idea.

So the next morning we jumped in my car and drove up to Pleasanton (where he lived). The plan was we were gonna pick him up and take him with us while we went to her bank and things so him and i could have some valuable "hang out" time right? So yeah, a four-and-a-half hour car ride later, we show up at his door and he was all happy to see us. Everything had been going well at this time, no issues, lots of singing in the car, great fun.

But this is a road trip story.

So Laurel (my friend) offers to drive the rest of the way up to Oakland so I could sit in the back seat with my then-boyfriend and talk. He sat on the driver side and i sat in the middle. We were 100% belted in, sitting in our seats, not being overly touchy. V important part of the story.

Now Laurel is a very good driver, so to our surprise, not five minutes down the road we were pulled over. And the cop walks up to the window and looks very closely at the two of us in the back seat. And Laurel's like "Is everything okay officer???"

He replies, "I thought she was sitting on his lap." Now granted like, i've almost always been chubby and he was built like a refrigerator but???? So i was like, "Nooooo. See, all belted in."

And so he's like, "Well i'm gonna give you a warning, just be more careful next time." But?? like???? u made the mistake????? was probably writen on all our faces but Laurel v calmly takes the "warning" paper and we drive off. And we start laughing because like wow, what a weird thing to happen how dumb, well at least we have a good story for our road trip.

Not quite.

So right about the time we hit Oakland, Laurel kinda turns to me and is like, "[Kiry], the brakes feel kinda funny."

"Funny? Funny how?"

"Funny like i don't think they're working v well?"

g o d d a m m i t

"Okay uhm fuck, let's pull over then."

So instead of just like, pulling over on the freeway, she gets off on International Blvd. And at the first stop light, the brakes prove that yes indeed, they had stopped working. We blew right through a red light and nearly got T-boned by a truck.

So we're screaming, she's pumping on the breaks and finally at the next light they kick in. We relax for a moment, and strt looking for a place to pull over. It's International tho, there are none.

So the light turns green and we slowly ease forward and at the next light they do NOT kick in completely and we bumped into the car in front of us. This nice looking older lady jumps out and looks at her bumper. We very quickly told her that the brakes were being faulty and we were trying to pull over. Since there wasn't any damage to either of us, she just waved it off and told us to be careful.

So FINALLY she spots a place to pull over on a side street and gets the car over there. the moment we stopped, she and i boiled out of the car and started hugging and crying on the sidewalk. My then-boyfriend very quietly gets out of the car, puts his arms around the both of us and says, "There there," in the most deadpan tone of voice i've ever heard.

We ended up calling a tow truck to take the car back to his house. Laurel rode with the car, and he and i took the Bart back to Pleasanton. The next day my dad drove up and took the car to the shop. Apparently the pistons had gone out and boy wasn't that a lovely fix, but eventually we got it fixed and drove back home.

We ended up missing the first day of classes too.

[kirythestitchwitch]

wastelandmind replied to your post: wastelandmind replied to your post: JERK OFF????...

hannibagel, because that was the person’s url…

o m g

i would be afraid to try the schmear, lbr

robertdowneytransjunior replied to your post: wastelandmind replied to your...

oHM Y GODF RED

RIGHT?

[kirythestitchwitch]

wastelandmind replied to your post: JERK OFF???? How dare y- oh… wait hahayou’re right tho

I lied about a Hannibal-themed bagel shop located in portland to someone OK???? TT__TT *furiously eats salad*

oh my god

what did you call it?

[kirythestitchwitch]

JERK OFF???? How dare y- oh... wait hahayou're right tho

got him to admit it, sam