She could remember as a child, when she used to think she was a mage. Insisted on it. Believed with her whole heart that the uncanny way her arrows struck true and the way the shadows clung to her and the way the veil would sing a green song if she listened close, believed that it was all magic. Believed and believed until her keeper, her mother, her sister, and anyone else insisted it wasn't. Believed, until she didn't.
She could remember, too, all the weird little instances -- both as a child and adult, that same green song, the song that sang for her the same way the anchor did. Could remember the way she weaved between unseen entities like dancing, something she'd been told required magical talent. All her little gifts, as she called them. Little things that she could do that seemed so… unimportant.
She remembered the way Solas had spoken of magic as easy as breathing. Him looking at her with an unreadable gaze and the strange feeling in her chest at those words. The way templars made her feel. The way Crestwood made her feel, and his words there too. She wasn't a mage, but what if she was? She didn't have magic, but what if she did?
She didn't want to ask him. Didn't want to hear the answer. Didn't want to see his disappointment as he told her she was already special enough as is, why did she want to be more special? Didn't want to be told she was attention seeking, and wasn't being inquisitor enough? The question hangs heavy on her tongue for nearly a week, anxiety and nausea in the pit of her stomach as the anchor thrums and flares with her nerves every time she considers asking. Her thoughts spiral out of control, breath quick and heavy like Crestwood and she can't bear to be around him. It's not healthy. This isn't healthy and she just needs to ask. Just needs to hear the words so she can get it over with.
It still takes her five minutes, hovering anxiously by his desk before she can work up the courage to ask. Takes a shaky breath. Won't look him in the eyes. " Solas? I-- listen I know it's a stupid question. I know you're going to just be like no Asha, I'm sorry or something and I know I'm being ridiculous but I can't stop thinking about it and I need to just hear the words because the thought is never gonna leave me otherwise and I just-- I know I'm being ridiculous and I'm sorry for bothering you," which was ridiculous because she was pretty sure they were sort of dating? "But I just-- I need to know. I need to."
"Solas am I… am I a mage?"
@wclfdreamt














