mutual
Me [on getting and then being married forever, after a conversation which ended in the frustrating, increasingly familiar conclusion that we are unfortunately not the same person]: I mean......it’s not too late. Ha ha.
Alex: [pause] Yeah. I know. It’s not.
Me: Of course I’m kidding. I mean I’m like, mostly kidding. OK, whether or not I’m kidding, it’s just a fact.
Alex: It is. Just LMK if you wanna call it off, k?
Me: I’m just scared because we can’t take it back, and we’re so different.
Alex: We’re SO different.
Me: Remember when we thought we were sooo similar?
Alex: Just because we shared the same food preferences.
Me: Hahaha, what dumbasses!
Alex: And we don’t even, really. It’s more like this [makes venn diagram with hands].
Me: At least the middle part exists.
Alex: Yeah.
Me: You drive me crazy sometimes.
Alex: I know, and you drive me crazy a lot.
Me: ...wait, I only said sometimes.
—-
Me: Whoa, [marriage] is scary.
Alex: I know.
Michelle: Wait, you’re not hurt that I said that?
Alex: No.
Michelle: Why not?
Alex: Because I’m really scared, too.