Sep 1, 2021
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I can’t believe it took me so long to find Arachne’s Artisanal Tea on campus!! It’s a bit out of the way, sure, nestled behind the old clock tower, but I really recommend it. The shop owner Arachne is the sweetest, and after a few weeks of coming to check out the latest blends she invited me to join her in the parlor upstairs. She said she’s only letting me up to see the blends she’s experimenting with because I’m her only regular, and I really think there should be more because the tea and Arachne are amazing!! Anyway, I’m off to meet her now, but definitely check it out when you have the time!
Toodles,
Greenbottle
It called my name. I will not leave this place alive.
We will mourn.
Excuse me good sir, but I seem to have forgotten my name. And my face. And... my life. Could you by chance remind me of, well, anything?
Certainly. So far as I’ve been made aware, you go by Gavrin, you’re a junior majoring in PoliSci, you have a bad habit of gambling more than you actually have to lose, and were recently jumped behind the student center by your debtors. Your friends Haskel and Jumbril have been tearing apart the campus looking for you, and distraught though they may be at the circumstances, I’m sure they’ll be relieved to know what happened.
In regards to the new fellow who tragically un-became himself in the Delta Hagall Omicron fraternity living room yesterday: we warned you as we welcomed you in that this is a house of rules. We pride ourselves on our strict obedience, as this is how man was bred to survive the dire but glorious rule of the Lords and Ladies. In this house, we wear our socks inside-out on Saturdays, we turn our backs to the mirror before leaving the room, we remain in bed between the hours of 3 and 5 AM, and, most of all, we each make a small sacrifice of hog’s blood and rye on the fifth of every month. You will be safe among the fraternal order of Delta Hagall Omicron, boys, so long as you observe the rules, as he did not. His fate was woven by he alone. The laws of a stranger side of nature are laws yet.
- “Kipling”, deputy student governor of House Delta Hagall Omicron. (In regione caecorum, rex est luscus.)
This isnt my phone Archivist. I am in the woods. There is a light. I could follow it. But I do not think that wise. Whos phone is this? Its a flip phone. Im so sorry to whoever gets the bill for me using the internet on it. I do not know how I got here. I do not even have on shoes. I do not think this is my dress. I do not own a red dress. I was sleeping. I'm in the Greenleaf dorms. I cant remember my roomates name. Can you tell them Im in the woods? I see a light! I think someone came to find m
The Elsewhere University Darwin Awards.
Posted on the notice board: Did your roommate stay out past midnight on a Blood Moon and get Taken? Did that one guy from Classic Lit. fall asleep in the library and may or may not be an urban legend now? Did the one transfer student you need to babysit go and anger a King? Do you have a ridiculously cheap debt to the Fair Ones that you just can’t pay somehow? Then look no further, because the quarterly Elsewhere University Darwin Awards (EUDA) are now seeking submissions for this season’s most foolish deaths or disappearances on campus! We will be choosing a winner from each faculty on campus - yes, even the Chemistry Majors!
You can nominate your friends, your enemies, your frenemies, your nemesis - even yourself, if you know your future looks bleak. To submit your nominees, please go to the Library’s front desk, where the librarians have so graciously allowed us to set up a box. Unfortunately, for the sake of avoiding potential biohazards, we will only accept submissions written on paper-based materials with ink- or graphite-based writing utensils.
Deadline for submissions is, as usual, three weeks before the seasons shift. The results will be posted on the last day of the season, ask Huxley from Dormitory 7 for copies of the honorary booklet with the winners, which we will be printing.
Best wishes, and good luck!
The EUDA committee.
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