So my mother decided to tell me today that I should not express my opinions, even if asked, when I was with family. I say, ummmm, time for a mellow-dramatic 3 in the morning writing frenzy
Why do I have to stifle myself for the people around me to feel comfortable? I feel comfortable with them talking about all the things they don’t believe in, but I open my mouth only to hear my mother say, “no, they don’t like that.” So their beliefs are more valid than mine? More important than mine? Why do they deserve to be tolerated by me, when they stand for everything I hate, and I am still silenced? I can talk about my books for days, but when it comes up around family, I am silenced because their only book is the bible. In my mind, the bible is a book, merely an old one to give hope to people that can’t create it for themselves. I have never tried to force that on anyone, only brought up the theory in conversation. My grandpa cried because of things like this, and a man like him has a limited number of tears to use in his lifetime. I don’t feel insulted by their religion, so why should they feel insulted by my religious love of different things? I accept them for what they are, but they don’t accept me. Not my scars, not my books, not my need for understanding. The sheer quality of my intellect should not be disregarded because of the rights I believe people deserve and the books that I believe are merely fiction. My youth does not mean that you get to treat me as if I don’t deserve the mouth that I was given to voice my opinions with. I truly thought that our bonds could withstand my beliefs, but apparently you are more confining then I thought. My love is better spent on those who complete my views with their conflicting opinions, rather than those who would have me silence myself to keep the picture perfect family around. We are not a family, we just simply have similar genetic codes. Therefore, you can shove your stifling and restricting words some where that it can’t see the light of day. If the ones I love can’t accept me eagerly with open arms, then they aren’t the people I loved anyways.
